Does not know this is a race.

2010-12-25T02:33:00.000-08:00

Hello, neglected blog audience comprised of friends, scorned women, and people searching for reference images on how to make a Ron Burgundy costume.

Bah, that joke was much better if I had bothered to post this prior to Halloween.
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Howard: semi random question
Howard: have you abandoned all blogspot updates?

I like to think my inactivity was a sympathy strike for NBC booting Conan off the air, but realistically I just didn't have anything terribly interesting to broadcast. (Not to imply that I ever do have truly noteworthy stories.) This past summer was a bit of a blur. There was a bit of turmoil at work, so I found myself working some late hours and sacrificing some perfectly good weekends in recent months. Being at my desk doesn't afford great opportunities to get into trouble. Being a homeowner has added some additional stress between maintenance and being an insufferable landlord instead of annoyed roommate.

But it might just be a sign of the times, who wants to skim through several thousand words (13,679 to be exact) in a 140 characters or less society? When I started this blog back in 2003 (or even before that when I had an ill advised domain name), it was to ~~make passive aggressive remarks about women~~ create a window on how my life was going. At the time, good college friends had started to disperse and friends from high school were also spread out across the world. Keeping a personalized page seemed a logical way to keep in touch with folks without actually having to converse with them.

Then came Friendster, MySpace, and eventually Facebook to monopolize real time updates. And in time, the long distance friends I maintained the blog for predictably grew apart anyways. Back in the day, 80% of the hits were from various friends. Nowadays, 99% of the hits are from people using Google Image Search. So, not a ton of motivation.

(Edit: A few days after I wrote up this draft, I stumbled upon an article more or less summarizing the drop of people actively blogging.

"Interestingly enough, blogging is not one of them, as only half as many online teens blog compared to 2006, while users ages 18 to 33 also blog less than before." I'm aged 18 to 33. U-S-A, U-S-A!)

Had a couple of "rough" drafts written, but didn't like that every anecdote was exuding negativity.

...and speaking random people stumbling on this site via Google Image Search......

Recently got an email from a guy who said he works for HBO Sports. They're apparently doing a documentary on the early 90s UNLV basketball team and he asked if he could use the above photo which I posted back in 2005.

I just hope it's not in the context of "UNLV Basketball was so huge that even kids in China were wearing their gear." My 7th grade History teacher made us do a paper about what we wanted to be when we grew up. Distinctly recall writing a highly misguided blip about going to UNLV to become a lawyer. Unfortunately I didn't make a joke about Grandmama or The Plastic Man teaching prep courses for the Bar.

A few years ago, my old roommate watched "An Evening With Kevin Smith" and told me about a hilarious story about when Smith was approached to write a script for Superman in the mid 90s. Not sure why, but I only recently watched the interview and the story was even better than I thought.

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When I moved into my place, I went on the DMV website and changed my address. However, all my DMV related mail is being sent to my last address. The best part is that the DMV website has a record of when I changed my address, but hasn't bothered to actually update their system in the last nine months.

So my registration arrived and I dropped by Dorothy's to pick it up. She was having an Xmas eve dinner with her family and a couple friends and invited me to join in the fun. After dessert, they started opening gifts and I began thinking "Why don't I recall my family ever having this much fun on Christmas?"

Growing up, we never opened gifts on Christmas morning. Some years, relatives would come up to visit and we'd have to wait for them. Other years, my Dad always wanted to take photos at night. Invariably, he and my Mom would get in an argument over something, so it'd get to be like 10pm before we were finally allowed to open our gifts. One year, they were really pissed and we didn't open gifts until the 26th.

Dorothy, her brother, and EK got diver's watches which reminded me of another Tran family Xmas gaffe. I believe it was in 2001, my sister had just started to pull in her lawyer paychecks and decided to get me a really nice watch. My Mom decided I wasn't trustworthy enough to have something that nice, so she kept it until I was deemed worthy. Years later, she has no idea where it is.

So that was kinda depressing thinking that most of my memories of Christmas weren't necessarily happy ones. Had to go through my old pictures to at least make sure there were some good memories at some point.

Good old Fortress Maximus. And my other cousins were there too. Your jealousy makes the gift all the better.

I've told this story numerous times, but here's one more for the road. That was the largest Generation One Transformer made and had a $100 price tag in 1987. Since it was so expensive, my parents made me keep the box and made me put it back in the box when I wasn't playing with it.

By 1999, my patronage of eBay had hit a personal apex. One day, decided to check out how much my old toys were going for. My jaw dropped when I saw Fortress Maximus easily selling for upwards of $400. As a 2nd year college student with no job, I really liked the idea of having $400. Grabbed it when I went back for Xmas break and sold it for $660. My Dad requested that I give him the money since he didn't trust me. Naturally I told him I sold it for $300. I then wasted the money on Kings tickets and snowboarding gear I've used once.

Yup. He had a right to assume I'd do something dumb.

So we went to Vegas for Xmas in 1989. Parents bought me that plush White Tiger from the newly opened Mirage. But since it was relatively expensive for a stuffed toy, my parents actually put it in our display case instead of letting me play with it.

Here's a picture from 2007 and you can see part of the tiger on the bottom shelf.

1990. Playing Nintendo, leave me alone.

This was the height of my baseball card collecting days. I had begged and begged for the 1991 Upper Deck baseball set. Upper Deck was rather expensive at the time, I believe the set cost $65. By comparison, the Topps set that my Dad got my younger cousin was $30. I'm sure my Dad would have gotten it for me eventually, but he painted himself in a corner when he got my other cousin Castlevania for the SNES. What kind of Dad is going to spend more on his nephew than his son.

Recently came across an unopened 1991 Upper Deck set. The guy wanted $15 for it. D'oh. This is why my kids aren't collecting cards.

The set came in handy as an added gift to my friend who has taken pictures with Hall of Famers George Brett, Eddie Murray, and Dave Winfield........but had no idea who they are.

In 7th grade, everybody had a Starter brand jacket. And I wasn't popular enough to be different. But since my Dad didn't crack until late in the shopping season, I didn't get the style of jacket I wanted and had to settle for the Sharks.

So many wasted hours. And counting.

So there seems to be a very large gap between 8th grade and college in terms of Christmas photos. This makes some sense as it wasn't exactly the greatest stretch of years with family drama.

But there I am in 1998, giving the Outsider salute to the Christmas tree. The other weird thing about my family was that we never took down the artificial tree. If you came by in July, it'd still be up. Only recently did my parents finally bring it down.

It's rare that I ever see my Dad truly excited. I was home from school for Christmas and my walks in the house with this giant grin on his face. He this inflatable Stone Cold Steve Austin and immediately opened it.

I don't think I'll ever quite understand why my Dad was so damn excited.

No idea what happened for Xmas 2000-2002. This is me from 2003. You know what's kinda sad? I had a blog entry from back then. After re-reading some of those old posts, I suppose I should never make fun of anybody for making vapid Twitter updates.

2004 was the last Xmas we had in Saugus. Now the family happily meets in Orange County with a different dynamic now that my niece and nephew are the beneficiaries.

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I started thinking about what was the worst gift I've received. Worst in the sense that the person tried in earnest to get you something you wanted, but completely missed the boat.

Back in school, I met this gal during fall quarter and through the course of conversation learned she was a Ducks fan.....mostly because of Paul Kariya. While Christmas shopping, stumbled across this plush duck that had "Kariya 9" on the back. It was only $10, so I figured why not. After I gave it to her, she felt obligated to get me something back. I suppose she had gleaned that I was a classic rock fan, so she got me:

Didn't quite have the heart to tell her that I didn't particularly care for The Eagles; I'm sure I gave a half-hearted "....thanks." The CD is still unopened somewhere in Saugus. Now that I think of it, I really ought to re-gift it back to her and see if she remembers.

I have never watched The Big Lebowski, but I am familiar with the pertinent scene.

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When I get asked "Who's your favorite band?" I'm usually quick to answer "early Green Day." But I had only been to one actual Green Day concert and that was way back in 2000 at a Warped Tour show. I saw them in a small club in 2008, but they were playing as their side project group. Even the show I saw in 1999 was highly marred since I was being an idiot and put myself in a situation where I couldn't enjoy the show. But at the time, Green Day had been kinda reduced to has been status. They played an abbreviated set in the late afternoon, a few hours before headliners Jurassic 5 and Long Beach Dub All-Stars.

Every time Green Day rolled through San Diego, I either lacked the funds and/or any other friends who were fans. Plus I really only wanted to hear their pre-Dookie era stuff which they just weren't playing.

(The opening line of "Jesus of Suburbia" is "I'm the son of rage and love"....which somebody pointed out to me sounds a lot like "Alexander Radulov" if you aren't listening closely. Unfortunately Radulov is playing in the KHL, else I could unsuccessfully try to bestow "Jesus of Suburbia" as a nickname. Guess I'll have to wait until the 2014 Olympics.)

I heard that they were touring yet again, but I had little motivation to go. The show was in early September, but I was actually more interested in catching the Stone Temple Pilots concert on my birthday. Thankfully I didn't buy tickets as STP postponed that show until November.

If there's one thing I hate in this world, it's effective marketing. Had the TV on in the background as I was doodling on my laptop. An ad for the Green Day show appeared. Told myself "Well, if they play Paper Lanterns, you're going" figuring that the song had long gone out of their usual rotation. Checked out their most recent set lists and "Paper Lanterns" was right there smack in the middle.

Splurged for decent seats as it was at the ~~Coors~~ Cricket Amphitheater. I had okay-ish seats for a Radiohead show there, but being far away caused a bit of a disconnect.....albeit Radiohead just going through the motions may have been a bigger contributor to that.

Terrific show as they played a 35+ song set. Had mild regrets about not splurging more and getting pit passes as I could have been on stage during "Paper Lanterns" although I should have learned that lesson from the 2008 show.

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The main highlight of my Thanksgiving stay-cation was attending two Weezer shows in two nights. I missed out on their free show in Del Mar back in August, so seeing them was a bit of re-do. But to top it off, the point of the two night show was that the first night would play the Blue album in its entirety, and similarly on the second night they would play Pinkerton.

My earliest memory of Weezer was during the summer of 1994. A college aged older cousin of mine visited from the Bay Area and took a few of us to the beach. On the way back, he popped in the Blue album cassette. At the time, I believe "Undone" had just began to receive regular airplay on MTV.

(I also forever linked The Blue Album with the then recently released TIE Fighter video game since that same cousin gave me a copy, and that was basically the last time I ever heard from him. This is the point where "In the Garage" ought be playing in the background as you're reading this.)

So Weezer got huge immediately thereafter but I basically went through high school (1994-1998) without ever hearing anything about them. For all I knew, they disappeared after the Blue Album. In 2001, the Green Album came out and lots of folks were excited that Weezer came back. Naturally I went to Tower Records to try to get a free listen but I steadfastly refused to fork over $15. But along with Blue/Green, there was this mysterious album called Pinkerton. I had zero idea that it had been released back in 1996. It was also priced to sell at like $6, so it seemed a worthwhile gamble.

To my surprise, it was a solid album whose recurring "I can't tell this girl I'm interested because I'm too much of a putz" theme perfectly coincided with my last year of college. To this day, Pinkerton is still the only Weezer album I've spent money on.

So anyways, back to the concert. Originally was only going to go to the Pinkerton night but ended up seeing both.

(On a side note, I had a free ticket for both nights. My friend's boyfriend bought her tickets for her birthday but couldn't attend, which led to me becoming the beneficiary. I gotta say, it was a bit weird to be on the other side of that situation.)

Wasn't as stoked for the Blue Album night since half the album has been overplayed in the past 15+ years and/or is in regular rotation for their live shows. Overheard a guy behind me say something like "I can't wait for them to play 'Say It Ain't So'!" As though he hadn't heard it on KROQ within 48 hours. Pinkerton not being popular probably adds to the reason I enjoy it so much. In the same way that I like hockey, but I also like the fact that not everybody likes hockey.

It was the first show of their abbreviated tour. As it had been advertised, we were led to believe that they would play Blue/Pinkerton first, and then conclude with a medley of other stuff. I don't think I was alone in being confused when they kicked off the show with a song off of their latest album.

But then it made a bit of sense, they went through their catalog backwards and played a song or two off each record before taking an intermission, then concluding with the full album. Solid show, but I had some disappointment as they played a slower tempo version of "The World Has Turned and Left Me Here." The faster version seems more energetic, while the slower one just feels whiny.

Going to the show the following night felt like a scene straight out of Groundhog Day since we were seeing the same band, at the same venue, at the same time of day (ie, different from 2008 when I saw Weezer twice in a week but in SJ then SD). Same friend, another Pinkerton fanatic, also turned 30 the next day, so it was enjoyable for the both of us that Pinkerton essentially closed out her 20s.

"Should I leave my phone in the car?"
"Nah, you should have it on you, just in case I decide to ditch you for a girl.....and then her mom refuses to drive me home."

I always joke that I'd like to find my soul mate at a concert like this. I might have been one row off at this show. Gal in the row in front of me was freaking out when Weezer played a couple of B-sides. But instead, I was next to a morbidly obese guy who essentially took up two seats.

My friend had been somewhat reluctant to go to the show, lamenting that she might be too old for the crowd. And yes, it was a young crowd although some old dude befriended us the first night. He was quick to point out he had brought his kids, but that he was here for the show rather than being a chaperon. His kids had that "Deep down we appreciate you bringing us here, but you're still old and lame" expression.

Second show was quite enjoyable. We splurged on flimsy overpriced $30 commemorative shirts, although we masked it as buying the shirts as gifts for the other person. With the tour dates on the back of the shirt, I plotted bad ideas to potentially see it again in San Francisco or New York but alas that pair of bad idea jeans did not fit.

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Weezer also played at that 2000 Warped Tour date, a few hours before Green Day did. I'm eternally amused that I saw them when they were thought to be one-album wonders. I feel like I need to mention this again: Jurassic 5 and The Long Beach Dub All-Stars were the headliners.

Over Thanksgiving, I stepped foot inside Guitar Center for first time in 7+ years. Generally only bad things happen when I go there, as this time I was looking to purchase a guitar that I had no business getting.

Ended up taking my Dad too which brought a smile to my face since I hadn't been there with my Dad since 1998. And back then I was the ultra needy teenager nagging for stuff. Last time we were there together, it was to buy my Ovation acoustic/electric as a graduation gift. I had implored my Dad a few months earlier to let me get it since they were on sale for $399. So when we showed up, the price was back at the usual $499. My Dad talked them down to $430 and extended his hand for a high five.

Back to (almost) present day......thankfully they didn't have the guitar I wanted in stock. Meanwhile, my Dad started looking at acoustic guitars. He was always a bit annoyed that my uncle broke his acoustic in a fit of rage some time in the 80s and never offered to buy a replacement. It's still sitting in my parents' living room with a duct tape covering the hole.

So my Dad found one he liked and I offered to buy it for him. The role reversal made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

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"How old are you?" -- friend's sister
"Just turned 29." -- me
"Wait, you were born in 1981?"
"Yeah."
"Me too......how did you graduate high school two years before me?"

Awhile back, I started reading (and admittedly never finished) Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. In the book, the author points out various factors which cause a certain subset of people to be inherently more successful than others. The opening chapter was quite interesting to me since it dealt exclusively with hockey players.

Gladwell was attending a Canadian junior (ages 16-20) game in a league which was a breeding ground for future NHL players. In his program, he couldn't help but notice that there were an inordinate amount of players with early birth months. Eventually he surmises that this isn't entirely coincidental.

Later he finds out that the cutoff dates for youth leagues is January 1st. So a kid born on January 14th, 2003 would play in the same league as another kid born November 23rd, 2003. And at that young age, the difference of eleven months can be significant in terms of physical development. Ie, the January born kid is more likely to be bigger/stronger/faster than the November child. Then the January player is more likely to be tabbed as a better player, receive more attention/coaching, and be filtered into more competitive leagues.

Just interesting how a cutoff date could be that big a factor. Another interesting cutoff date, at least in terms of hockey, is the NHL's September 15th cutoff date in order to be draft eligible. To have been eligible for the 2010 Draft, a player had to have been born on or before September 15th, 1992. The rationale being that training camps start on September 16th and any drafted player who has a shot at making the NHL is at least 18 years of age.

With the semi-arbitrary cutoff date, it's always fun to imagine how the NHL would be different if a few birthdays had been different.

Alex Ovechkin (September 17th) - He missed being in the already stacked 2003 Draft by a mere two days. Had he been eligible, he would have undoubtedly gone #1 to the Florida Panthers. The Panthers actually tried to draft him later that day and argue that he was in fact eligible since the NHL did not explicitly account for leap days in the Collective Bargaining Agreement.

But just imagine if Ovechkin had been a Panther instead of a Capital? Would there have been a hockey renaissance in south Florida rather than DC?

Patrick Marleau (September 15th) - A day younger and he wouldn't have been eligible in 1997. Things might have been a bit different had Olli Jokinen been the one to wear teal.

Patrik Stefan (September 16th) - It seems comical now, but Stefan was highly regarded heading in the 1999 Draft. The expansion Thrashers happily traded up from #2 to select Stefan first overall. But imagine if Stefan had just been a day older and thus had been drafted the previous year. Atlanta likely would have had to settle with the consolation prize of one of the Sedin twins.

Managed to get in a message board argument with another propspect nerd who claimed some late 1992 birthdates were exceptional since they were starting college a year earlier than they should. I pointed out that an October 1992 birthdate ought to be a college freshman as were various high school friends of mine who were born in later months. He then mentioned that my school district must differ from his (he had just enrolled his 5 year old into kindergarten in Minnesota).

So I looked it up--also felt absurd that I was Google searching for "kindergarten cutoff dates" when I don't have children--and it turns out we're both right (although I was right-er).

Most states use September 1st as the cutoff date. California has one of the later dates (December 3rd) while other states like Michigan and New York are after Thanksgiving as well.

It was interesting to me seeing that a majority of states use September 1st as a cutoff. Had I grown up in a different state or California used an earlier date, I would have had to start school a year later than I did. This also explains why my friend's sister (born late December) was a full year behind me in starting school + me skipping a grade = me graduating two years before she did.

I had noted before that one of the primary reason I ever got into hockey was in order to fit in with the cool kids in 8th grade. What if I had been a year behind? The cool kids the year after me were into rice rockets.

In that universe, I'd probably have a sweet lowered Acura and tabby girlfiend. Instead, I'm trying to loosely tie together my life and cutoff dates.

Thanks for nothing California.

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Wrote a rant some time over the summer regarding local sports DJ Chris Ello--I blame 94.9 for switching from music to talk in the mornings and thus causing me to listen to bad sports talk. Typical blowhard who cites statistics to back up his argument but then badly misinterprets causation and correlation.

Back before the Padres went on their devastating ten game losing streak, he went on a rant about the previous brain trust's stance on stolen bases and how the Padres were so much better this year because they were among the league leaders in swiped bags. His proof was that the Padres were a .700 team in games when they stole a base and below .500 when they didn't.

His argument was that Petco Park is kryptonite for power hitters (true), so that it was optimal to create an athletic team that could steal bases, get from 1st to 3rd on a single, manufacture runs, etc. Prior to this season, San Diego had a pair of dismal years. In 2008, they ranked dead last in the NL with 36 stolen bases.

Since the previous regime adopted Moneyball tendencies, the stolen base was deemed to be not as important as journalists/broadcasters would lead us to believe. In 2010, they finished 2nd in the NL with 124 stolen bases. More stolen bases and the team was winning? That was obviously what was missing from the 2008/2009 Padres right? So we'd expect a significant increase in runs per game?

2008: 3.93 runs per game
2009: 3.94 runs per game
2010: 4.10 runs per game

(note, I wrote this rant awhile ago when Ello got all stolen base-y. The Padres were averaging 4.23 runs/game as of that day.)

Alright, so the Padres are slightly better offensively this year in scoring 27 more runs than the previous year. These thing tend to happen when you don't have the corpse of Brian Giles patrolling RF for 60 games.

Not quite sure why the assumption on the Padres resurgence was pegged on offense. Offense is just sexier? Chicks dig the long ball?

Let's take a look at the Padres' team ERA over the same three year span:

2008: 4.41
2009: 4.37
2010: 3.39

So, which is more important? Adding 27 runs per game offensively, or shaving nearly a full run off your ERA and allowing 188 fewer runs than the year before? My dad never let me play Little League, but I believe the general principle of the game is to score more runs than you allow.

And somewhere, Kurt is yelling "THE GIANTS WON THE WORLD SERIES." FML.

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Awhile back, I thought it'd be fun to list every hockey game I had ever been to. Tried to do that with baseball, although doing Petco Park era games is a bit tougher since I end up going much more frequently.

It's kinda fun to hunt down your first game on scant clues. When I mentioned finding old boxscores on Baseball Reference to Geoff, he immediately searched and deduced his first baseball game based on remembering his aunt being pissed at Rickey Henderson for getting picked off 1st base and that Red Sox were visiting Oakland. He geeked out when he found out that it was Dennis Eckersley who picked off Rickey while future Hall of Famer Carl Yastrzemski had an at bat as well.

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Onto my personal slate of games throughout the years........

Giants @ Padres 5/25/86 - I was only four, so I have no recollections of this game. However, this is the one game my Dad will gladly reminisce about. He had taken our family to the game which ended up going into extra innings. My Mom and sister had no interest so they whined about being cold and wanting to go home. Apparently I was being fussy like most toddlers and needed to go to bed.

So my Dad finally gave in and we left the game. While in the parking lot, he turns on the car radio to listen to the conclusion. Padres relief pitcher Craig Lefferts ends up hitting a game winning home run. To this day, my Dad is mildly bitter that he missed such an unforgettable ending.

Now that I located the boxscore, I found a couple things that were interesting. My future favorite player Chili Davis was playing for the Giants that night. He went 2-5 with an RBI and SB. The other thing was that the Giants actually had a one run lead going into the bottom of the 12th. Craig Nettles hit a tying solo homer before Lefferts got his to win the game.

This led me to ask my Dad whether it was the family's fault that we left the game or if he wanted to bail when the Giants scored in the top of the 12th. This is because my Dad is a bit of a Geoff Appuhn Negative Nancy and will give up on a team quite easily. Dad pleaded ignorance and didn't remember if we stayed for the top half of the inning.

Astros @ Dodgers 7/30/88 - This was the first baseball game I had any memories, although I was surprised to find out it predated the Dodgers winning the World Series.

There were two things that helped me pinpoint this game. First was the indelible memory of a loud woman in an Astros jersey cheering on her team. At this point, I was fairly new to sports and fresh off of the Lakers winning the NBA championship. The young version of me only knew to cheer for the home team. Cheering for an away team completely perplexed the not quite seven year old version of myself.

The second thing was that the Astros destroyed the Dodgers to the point where LA put in utility infielder Danny Heap to pitch the last two innings. Thanks to the game program (which I possibly still have somewhere in Saugus), that just further immortalized Heap in my eyes. There was an article in the program about Heap, backup catcher Mickey Hatcher, and I believe third baseman Jeff Hamilton along with some other scrub. Collectively they were all dubbed "The Stuntmen." The propaganda clearly worked as I grew up thinking they were even average ballplayers and "The Stuntmen" was just a euphemism for benchwarmer.

A few months after the game, the Dodgers would improbably win the World Series by defeating the powerhouse Mets and A's along the way. The Kirk Gibson home run would launch my sports nerdiness forever.

So with the Giants winning the World Series, the natural question was where did they rank amongst past champions. The consensus was that they would be pretty low on the totem pole, but the somewhat surprising thing was that everybody pointed to the '88 Dodgers as the worst team to win.

And after taking a look at that roster again, holy crap, it's hard to argue that they weren't.

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Twins @ Angels 6/29/92 - Mentioned this game in one of my "recent posts." One of those rare days when my Dad skipped work and took me to do something fun.

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Braves @ Dodgers 6/4/93 - Deion! Bill Pecota!

I was again in the middle of committing sports blasphemy (again) by temporarily switching allegiances to the Braves (Chili Davis had signed back with the Angels as well). The disastrous Darryl Strawberry and Eric Davis signings helped me jump off the Dodgers bandwagon completely.

This game was part of a 7th grade field trip, so I don't recall much other than trying to throw paper airplanes from the upper deck onto the field.

Ramon Martinez made the start for the Dodgers while his younger brother Pedro was still on the team. A few months after this game, the Dodgers would trade Pedro to the Expos for Delino DeShields. Oops. Recently watched a documentary on the Expos and I have to admit I choked up a little bit when Pedro, in the midst of having champagne poured on him after the 2004 World Series, acknowledged and thanked the fans of Montreal.

Giants @ Padres 7/6/96 - Initially I thought this game was on the 4th of July, but turned out it was the Saturday of 4th of July weekend. Family had come down to San Diego for the holiday and I was bored since our families don't exactly do anything special on the 4th (we celebrate Bastille Day).

I complained to the point where my Dad took me and my cousins to the game. Little did he know that the game would be sold out. They eventually sold us seats in the handicapped section which had an obstructed view of any flyballs to LF.

At that point, I was still a disenchanted fan who had been burned by the '94 strike (ie, the 3+ year gap between games). Orel Hershisher had left the Dodgers and with him any vestige to the magical '88 team. The Padres were in the midst of a rebound season and that game helped me get back into baseball since the atmosphere was awesome.

Sellout crowd of 55,000 along with a convincing win capped by a save from a young Trevor Hoffman jump started my interest in baseball. Journeyman Rob Deer even hit a moonshot pinch hit home run much to my amusement. Between 1988-1991, I was an avid baseball card collector. When you opened up a pack of baseball cards, you were likely to get 80% duds which were dubbed "commons" in collecting terms. Rob Deer was very much a common. I'm sure a younger version of me at some point blurted out "dang it, another Rob Deer."

1996 was the last year that it was still Jack Murphy Stadium. I remember San Diego getting a fair amount of criticism when they sold the naming rights to Qualcomm. Immediately thereafter, every stadium started selling off its naming rights which led to some absurdly comical sponsorships during the height of the dot-com bubble. Specifically, Ray Lewis attempting to sound tough while daring teams come down to "PSINet" and beat the Ravens.

Padres @ Dodgers 9/29/96 - By the end of the season, the Padres were headed to the playoffs so I fully jumped on the bandwagon. The Dodgers held a three game lead into the final weekend of the season and would host the Padres for three games. Needing just one win to clinch the division, the Dodgers dropped the first two.

So we went to the season finale which in retrospect was mildly anticlimatic since both teams were going to the postseason. The only thing at stake was who would be officially the Division winner and who got the Wild Card. But there I was, in Dodger Stadium wearing a Padres hat vociferously cheering on Ken Caminiti and crew.

And hopefully I scarred some seven year old Dodger fan who couldn't believe somebody was rooting for the opponent. That my friends is the Circle of Life. Hakuna Matata.

Dodgers @ Padres 9/13/98
Rockies @ Padres 9/20/98
- The summer between high school and college still provide some of my fondest memories. I had moved into the dorms the previous day and one of the icebreaker activities was going to the game. Could have sworn that game was against the Dodgers, but I distinctly remember having my birthday in Saugus that year. And the 20th would have made more sense as classes never began until late September. Despite not remembering anything about this game, I suppose I always looked at it as the cap to my last carefree summer vacation.

>Indians @ Angels 8/11/99 - Almost completely forgot about this one. I grabbed my storage container of old baseball cards out of my parents' garage during Thanksgiving and found this ticket stub. That summer was possibly the low point of my life, so perhaps I just repressed any memories from that time.

After graduating high school the previous year, my friend's family immediately moved to Orange County. She had also gone to Columbia and spent most of freshman year extremely homesick. Things weren't much better for her that summer since she had no friends in OC either. So my other buddy (who will remain anonymous because of the followup anecdote) decided to go visit her to cheer her up.

Game itself was largely forgettable. The Indians were dominant and Manny Ramirez crushed a homer to LF to seemingly seal the game. The Angels mounted a late comeback which led to one fan to wave his arms a la "Angels in the Outfield" in the hopes of an Anaheim comeback. And you thought the rally monkey was annoying....

I forget exactly, but we were seated in RF and somebody made a spectactular grab. My buddy taped the replay of the game solely for the "Hey, you can see us on TV!" factor. He gave the tape to me and I popped it in the VCR.

After the catch, the tape immediately changes to a porno with two guys just giving it to some blonde. Meanwhile my Mom was in the kitchen about 20 feet away with a clear line of sight to the TV. Thankfully I hit stop before she noticed anything. I like to think my buddy set that up as a joke intentionally.......

Brewers @ Padres 5/29/00 - This was a bizarre game. Nobody in the crowd, nothing to cheer about, everybody just walked out in a catatonic state.

At the time, I was living on campus but needed to make housing arrangements for the following year. One of my then current roommates knew a couple guys who needed roommates, so we decided to go to this game to get acquainted. We said little if anything to each other but still rented a house together.

After living together for a few months, we barely spoke until one day I came home and the other two guys were watching wrestling. Sat down and nerded out along with them. They had just assumed I was far too smart to enjoy something as low brow as 'rasslin. And we've been good friends ever since.

Giants @ Padres 5/17/02 - Last game that I went to prior to graduating. Along with my roommates, I dragged out a couple lab partners including the gal I was pursuing at the time. Being unprepared, I didn't bring a jacket to the game. Since it was her first game, she didn't dress accordingly to being outdoors. So I ended up buying an overpriced and very ugly Padres sweater for her to wear. I think it was this year that I finally donated that sweater. I hate to admit that it felt great to finally get rid of that thing.

As for the game itself, it was the year after Barry Bonds broke the single season home run record. So each of his at bats just felt like it was bigger event than the game itself. We were seated fairly deep in the RF bleachers and Bonds crushed one that nearly reached us. Padres won the game, but I always think of that stupid sweater.

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Went up to Orange County for my nephew's birthday and my sister hangs in a pretty affluent crowd. I was walking through their house and overheard somebody say "....the previous owner was the Ducks goalie or something." Couldn't help but interject to confirm she was talking about J.S. Giguere. Later I talked to her husband and he mentioned "a couple other players live there too.....a guy named Niedermayer or something."

I'm looking forward to going to a future birthday party and running into a former player.

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So this has been a bizarre hockey season to the say the least, and much more to say on that in a bit. The first game of the year sometimes feels like it sets the tone for next nine months. This year did not get to an auspicious start.

From 2002-2006, I had a fairly good routine with watching the Devils. I could listen to the first period of the game online at work, then drive home during the intermission and catch the rest of the game.

Then we got DVR and I could watch at my own leisure, but at the peril of somebody telling me the score. Over the years, I've befriended lots of folks from our hockey league who are transplants and fans of various teams. So even though I warn them ahead of time not to ruin the score for me, a handful will get trigger happy to send me a text/email/etc and inadvertantly divulge the results.

From 2006-09, I lived with the same set of roommates and we rarely had DVR issues (possibly because Time Warner was lagging with offering HD content). When we recorded things, we watched them in a timely fashion.

So the Devils' season opener was on a Friday in early October. I was in an incredibly unhappy mood at that point. I was supposed to be on vacation but instead I was at work late on a Friday, also knowing I had to work the weekend. Was also lamenting spending too much on food that week while remembering that I had a frozen lasagna. So for the last couple hours at my desk, I was madly obsessing over being able to watch the Devils game while eating lasagna.

I get home, open the door, and immediately smell something pasta-riffic in the air. Immediately searched the freezer and my Stouffer's box was nowhere to be found. I then look at my roommate who's sprawled out on the couch with an empty container in front of her. Just to confirm what I already knew, I ask her if she had eaten my dinner, and she apologized.

Not two seconds later, I get a phone call from a buddy.

"Hello?"
"How do you feel about Brodeur's demise?"

Immediately chastized him and saw my evening completely dashed in a matter of seconds. Ended up going out for sushi (hooray for spending more money) and coming back to watch the game. Since I think too hard, I gave my buddy the benefit of the doubt that his comment was perhaps a sarcastic remark to a Brodeur shutout and that he hadn't necessarily ruined the game for me.

So I turned on the TV and went to load the game off the DVR. But the game was nowhere to be found. Then I spotted why.

98%

The DVR was at 98% capacity because my new roommates recorded so much crap, half of which they had no intention of actually watching. Because they were paranoid of their shows being deleted, they marked each show as "Do Not Delete". Since I was used to living with the guys, I didn't do the same for my recording. So the game had been recorded and immediately deleted to make space for yet another repeat episode of Iron Chef.

Now that it was almost 10pm, I didn't have the patience to wait and turned on the rebroadcast of the game which was already late in the 3rd period tied. Dallas would score in overtime as I went to bed highly annoyed at life.

------------------------------

If you've talked to me any time in recent months, you've undoubtedly had to endure some stories about my now former roommate/tenant. Wanted to make a list of odd things she did (a la the squatter), but figured that would just angry up my blood. Now that she's gone, I joked that it was great not living in "Jayne's World" (party time, excellent) as she didn't seem particularly cognizant of anything going on around her. So one benign story was a bit of a microcosm of things.

Due to limitations of the DVR (this is going to sound like a U-verse commercial) is that it can only record two shows concurrently in which case you can't watch anything but those two shows or anything else previously recorded. Usually not a big deal.

But Jayne was also paranoid of missing the beginning and ends of her shows (not sure how she could have survived if she missed next week's preview of "The Hills"), so she set all of her recording to begin ten minutes before and ten minutes after their standard times. Several times during the week, she'd do this with shows that ran back-to-back (and good god, if there was ever a marathon for "The Hills"). Her extended recordings now created an artificial twenty minute overlap that the DVR interprets as two recordings even though it's just recording the same channel twice. So this prevented anybody else from either watching TV or recording anything during those timeslots, unless she adjusted her shows.

Tried to explain to her why the extended recordings weren't particularly necessary for the shows that ran adjacent to one another. But all I got back was a blank expression and "....but I don't want to miss the end of my shows." Ended up just being easier to reprogram her shows rather than whip out crayons and paper to demonstrate how she was recording the same thing twice.

------------------------------

Since I lagged on posting my thoughts on the season (just this morning John MacLean was fired and zombie Jacque Lemaire was reinstated as coach), my feelings have progressively changed to something that would mirror the Flying Pig gag from the Simpsons.

"It's just a little dirty, it's still good, it's still good." (late October)

Figured there was some expected growing pains that would happen with several new players in the lineup. Free agent acquisition Anton Volchenkov took a slapshot to the face during the 2nd game of the season, so there was some hope that things would get better when he returned.

"It's just a little slimy, it's still good, it's still good." (late November)

Zach Parise, the Devils' leading scorer from each of the last four seasons, injured his knee on Halloween night and would be sidelined for several months. The Devils survived 2008-09 with starting goalie Martin Brodeur missing a signficant portion of the season. In 2009-10, the Devils won the division with #1 defenseman Paul Martin out of the lineup for 60 games.

With the customary slow Chargers start, I remained optimistic that there was still adequate time to rebound and make the playoffs. The talent Flyers squad squeaked into the playoffs on the final day of the season last year and tore through the Eastern Conference. The Devils finished up November by winning three out of four including a dominating 5-0 win over Washington.

"It's just a little airborne, it's still good, it's still good." "It's gone." "I know." (late December)

....and then the Devils have dropped eight out of nine December games in regulation. That basically have destroyed any hopes of the playoffs this year and is now bordering on the absurd in terms of historical drop offs from one season to the next.

I've have non-hockey friends ask me about the Devils out of the blue. Last month, I was walking back to the office and this guy was holding the door for me with this oddly bemused smile. Turned out he was a Kings fan and knew I was a Devils fan, and he wanted to get a couple verbal jabs in as Kovalchuk had given LA the proverbial dry hump over the summer before ~~taking his talents to~~ re-signing with New Jersey.

And no, I was not wearing any Devils paraphernalia that day.

I wanted to write something along the lines of ESPN Classic's show "5 Reasons You Can't Blame _______" but realistically Kovalchuk has been awful. So this would be more like "Several Reasons You Can't Just Blame Kovalchuk" for the Devils terrible season.

So, let's tackle Kovalchuk first. I can understand why the guy is a lightning rod for criticism. People jump on the 100 million dollar contract, his style of play, the fact that Atlanta didn't do squat during his tenure. This despite having pretty much the same exact resume as Rick Nash who remains highly respected in the hockey community.

Then came the story that the Devils current owner Jeff Vanderbeek was the driving force in signing Kovalchuk rather than GM Lou Lamoriello. Vanderbeek's hope was to sell the team (with a Russian superstar) to Mikhail Prokhorov who recently purchased the NBA's New Jersey Nets.

Plenty of articles had been written recently, including a handy dandy visual representation in ESPN The Magazine detailing the Devils' demise. Things hit a bit of a crescendo after Kovalchuk's unfortunate and pathetic looking shootout attempt against Buffalo.

The rhetorical question asked by the media (and various friends) is "Was it worth it?" especially in light of Atlanta's rejuvenation. Perhaps I'm just a bit defensive since it's my team, but doesn't it seem a bit premature to judge a longterm contract in the first year? Time will tell if Kovalchuk turns out to be the NHL's Allen Iverson.

It's a bit of a pet peeve, but the media also truncates the trade parameters. Perhaps to save ink, it's always Kovalchuk for Bergfors/Oduya/Cormier/1st rounder rather than Kovalchuk/Salmela/38th overall for Bergfors/Oduya/Cormier/24th overall/54th overall.

"The Devils are poorly constructed, and the Ilya Kovalchuk deal and all of the assets lost in that misguided pursuit of the underachieving superstar mean things aren't going to get better, unless the Devils take drastic action." -- article from ESPN contributor and former Thrashers beat writer Scott Burnside who has always looked for a way to criticize New Jersey

It sounds sexier in an anti-Kovalchuk article to mention that the Devils gave up all these magical assets. The Thrashers did well for themselves by parlaying the picks (along with top prospect Jeremy Morin) into Dustin Byfuglien. Johnny Oduya was an effective minutes eater in New Jersey, but is currently a -5 on a team +13 in goal differential. Niclas Bergfors has a decent 18 points in 27 games, but has been a healthy scratch a few times during the season and is reportedly on the trade block. Patrice Cormier broke his foot before the season and only recent joined their minor league squad. Arguably the biggest asset that the Thrashers got in trading Kovalchuk was opening up some cap space, as Atlanta benefitted from Chicago having to sell off Andrew Ladd for next to nothing. But even then, Kovalchuk (6.66 mil) doesn't make much more than Oduya/Brent Sopel (5.83 mil).

But as assets, Oduya/Bergfors/Cormier wouldn't have saved the Devils season. The Devils also were penalized a 1st round pick (their choice, between 2011-2014) and a 2011 3rd round pick. Not having a 2013/14 1st round pick or a 2011 3rd aren't the reasons they've struggled.

And rarely does anybody mention that the Devils received the Thrashers 2nd rounder in the deal. New Jersey ended up with defenseman Jon Merrill who was projected to go in the first round, but fell due to teams questioning his attitude. Thus far, he's more than proven that he belonged in the top 20 of last year's Draft.

But anyways, aside from Kovalchuk, here are aspects that have more key than just Kovalchuk:

Nobody remembers this. The Devils were starting to tank before Kovalchuk got there. From a distance, most observers saw:

- 2009-10 Devils = first place club
- Devils acquire and sign Kovalchuk
- 2010-11 Devils = last place club

- 2009-10 Thrashers = mediocre non-playoff team
- Thrashers trade Kovalchuk
- 2010-11 Thrashers = challenging for division title

This must be proof that Kovalchuk is a cancer, right?

In early January, the Devils beat the Rangers 1-0 in a shootout on national (insert Versus joke here) TV and had the best record in the NHL. Over the next eleven games before acquiring Kovalchuk, they went 3-7-1 and resembled the hapless team I had seen to start the season. Looking back at it, the bubble had burst. But the Devils had played over their heads for so long, that they were still able to stumble into a division championship.

With or without Kovalchuk, the 2010-11 Devils were headed for a serious regression. With the biggest problem being.........

Who the hell is that on defense?

Even last year, I was puzzled how a team with Mike Mottau averaging 22 minutes a night could possibly win the Jennings Trophy. Even after losing Scott Niedermayer and Brian Rafalski, the Devils had patched together a respectable defense. Although we questioned that formula since the scrap heap defensemen had faltered in the playoffs in each of the last five years. Oddly enough, the Devils played their best last year with top defenseman Paul Martin out of the lineup. Andy Greene and Bryce Salvador played extremely well in Martin's absence, but this also gave the false impression that Martin wasn't a key component.

After being bullied by the Flyers in the playoffs, the team decided to make an effort to add size/physicality to the backend. When Martin signed with division rival Pittsburgh, New Jersey added Henrik Tallinder and Anton Volchenkov. While I've liked Volchenkov gritty play in Ottawa, it seemed like he played too similar a style to Salvador and Colin White. Even though Volchenkov is an upgrade to either guy, the need for a puck moving defenseman still seemed paramount.

I felt the same way about Tallinder that I did when the Devils signed Dainius Zubrus. Here's a guy who's played in the Eastern Conference for ten years and never once did I find myself thinking "Man, he'd be a nice addition." And after watching him as a Devil for 30 games, I'm still trying to figure out what he brings to the table.

NHL teams generally carry seven defenseman and dress six for any particular game. Prior to the season starting, I would have listed the Devils depth chart on defense as:

1. Andy Greene
2. Anton Volchenkov
3. Colin White
4. Henrik Tallinder
5. Bryce Salvador
6. Mark Fraser
7. Anssi Salmela
8. Matt Corrente
9. Tyler Eckford
10. Alexander Urbom
11. Matt Taormina

Admittedly, Salvador was a likely salary cap casualty before suffering a concussion and has yet to play this season. Salmela only recently returned to the lineup after tearing his ACL last season. But most teams rarely go as deep as their #9 on defense. And even then, those guys are usually given very limited and shielded minutes against opposing 4th lines. But due to further injures, the Devils have had to go even further down the depth chart.

12. Oliver Magnan
13. Mark Fayne

And these guys have had to play significant minutes. Once you get to the 12/13th guys, you're talking about average to below average minor leaguers suddenly taking shifts against the Pavel Datsyuks and Sidney Crosby of the world.

This was just not a defense that was going to hold up. And virtually nobody in this group can be classified as a good passer. The transition game from defense to offense has been non-existant this year. The Devils D generally handles the puck like a hand grenade and blindly throws the puck against the boards. The biggest difference this year is the even strength play. Last year, the Devils were 2nd in the league in goals allowed at even strength. This year, the Devils are dead last in the same category. Similarly, they are dead last in goals scored at even strength while last year they were middle of the pack.

Firmly believe the lack of puck moving defenseman is the primary cause of all the woes. And that can be traced to the fact that the Devils pretty much disregarded drafting defensemen from 2001-2007. That deficiency has been addressed in recent drafts, but those guys are still developing.

And another seemingly minor but obvious problem? Of those 13 guys, only Corrente and Fayne are right handed. Being a lefty and playing on the right side of defense isn't the easiest thing to do. Been clamoring for a decent RH defenseman (wish we could find a guy like Brian Rafalski......oh wait).

Didn't you use to be Brian Rolston?

The media jumps on Kovalchuk's contract as a reason why the Devils couldn't afford anybody good on defense. But other than Paul Martin and 36 year old Sergei Gonchar, there weren't exactly a bevy of top notch blueliners available over the summer--Dan Hamhuis or Pavel Kubina would have been nice, but both opted to sign in cities where they lived.

So while everybody pours on Kovalchuk for the enormity of his contract, the fact his cap hit is 6.66 million is tied for 24th in the NHL is usually glanced over. The bigger problem with the Devils cap situation is that other high paid players haven't pulled their weight this season.

In particular, Brian Rolston counts for a little over five million towards the cap. I admit that I was excited when Rolston came back to New Jersey in 2008. In his previous three years in Minnesota, he seasons of 34/31/31 goals while only missing four games. Upon his return to the swamp, he more or less ceased to be an effective 2nd line forward. Paying Kovalchuk 6+ million isn't a problem, but paying 5 million to a guy who might not even be an effective 3rd liner is a huge issue. And because Rolston signed his deal after he turned 35, the Devils can't hide his contract in the minors like say the Rangers are with Wade Redden's remaining 4 years and 26 million.

Then there's Dainius Zubrus who has grown on me over the years. For the lack of production, you can at least respect the fact that he tries. But at 3.4 million, you'd hope for more than four goals in 33 games.

David Clarkson had progressed from undrafted goon to a somewhat effective 3rd liner with 20 goal potential. The Devils rewarded him with a 3 year, 8 million dollar contract which seemed a bit expensive at the time. Right now, he's matching Zubrus's four goals in 33 games. It's almost as if he's convinced that he's paid to be a finesse goal scorer now rather than being a grinder with some finishing ability.

Kovalchuk was criticized for his playoff performance (6 points in 5 games), but the bigger problem was Jamie Langebrunner and Travis Zajac combining for one goal and three points. So far this year, Langenbrunner and Zajac each have three goals.

Patrik Elias and Jason Arnott still get a pass from being blamed too badly, but each guy has certainly lost a step from their heyday ten years ago.

The Parise injury obviously hurts. Rookie Jacob Josefson has missed all but six games, which has resulted in a cavalcade of minor leaguers being shuffled in and out of the lineup. The other Swedish rookie Mattias Tedenby has been one of the lone bright spots, but his role diminished once Langenbrunner returned from injury.

Fired, rehired, fired, etc etc

After the lackluster playoff showing, Jacques Lemaire was seemingly forced into retirement. The Devils took awhile to name a replacement before settling for John MacLean who had coached their minor league affiliate to moderate success the previous year. While it's always an unknown when you hire a first time NHL head coach, MacLean had been an assistant alongside Lemaire, current Bruins coach Claude Julien, and the late Pat Burns. Each of those three has an Adams Award on their resume, so you'd figure MacLean at least had a decent pedigree.

To fill out the staff, the Devils brought back former head coach Larry Robinson along with Adam Oates. Oates had a brilliant NHL career as one of the best passers in the league. It's no coincidence that Brett Hull's best years coincided with Oates as his center. He had gained a reputation as a particularly good power play coach.

The coaching staff's main dilemma was how to construct the lines. Zach Parise is a left wing. Patrik Elias is a left wing and had been ineffective as a center or right wing. Brian Rolston's natural spot is at left wing. And then you have Kovalchuk who is a left wing. So the plan was to move Kovalchuk to RW and turn him into Brett Hull.

The problem with that rationale was that Hull was particularly good at just getting open while others got him the puck. While Kovalchuk is the type that loves to stickhandle and generally likes to carry the puck. That and switching wings isn't exactly the easiest transition. A handful of games into the season, they quickly scrapped that experiment which resulted in the problem of having too many left wings.

As the season carried on, they seemingly were trying new line combinations every game. Friends and had previously joked about the concept of a "hat" line where the coach would throw every players name into a hat and draw out names to form a line. It seemed to get to that point in MacLean's last game at the helm as Kovalchuk was being centered by career minor leaguer Tim Sestito.

That's used to be out

Typically in baseball you can more easily see a player's physical strength diminish. Every year you'll see an aging slugger hit a towering warning track flyball and think how that used to be a home run.

Most Devils fans were dreading the day that Martin Brodeur would inevitably decline. Last year Brodeur brought home yet another Jennings Trophy, so there was reasonable hope that there was still a year or two left in the tank. While it hasn't become a total elephant in the room, there is reason to be concerned.

As I've taken up goaltending as a hobby over the last eight years, Brodeur's style (or lack thereof) can be difficult to watch at times. Essentially every goalie now relies on the same butterfly technique which stresses playing the percentages and forcing the shooter to make a perfect shot. While predictable, it is effective. Meanwhile, Brodeur is the last of improvisers who have a higher reliance on their quick reflexes. Unfortunately reflexes go away with age, which is why I think a guy like Curtis Joseph faded faster than a guy like Ed Belfour who had a more solid technical base. Even now, Brodeur had adopted wearing slightly taller pads in order to butterfly more frequently.

Along with largely ignoring defensemen in the draft, the Devils had only picked a handful of goalies--mostly mid to late round--in the last decade. That is somewhat more defensible since drafting goalies has been more of a crapshoot if only because 18 year old goalies tend not to be the starters for their respective teams. There's inherently a lot more projection (fancy way of saying guessing) involved.

So seemingly every year, Devils fans clamor for an experienced but somewhat young backup to be added to the fold. This year's band-aid of a backup was Johan Hedberg who was an average starter at best for most of the last decade. Hedberg posted a career high .915 save percentage in 47 games for Atlanta in 2009-10. This was after having a sub-.900 save percentage in the previous four seasons. But we figured at most he'd see 15 games as Brodeur typically starts 70 games per year.

Then Brodeur suffered a preventable injury. For personal reasons, he chooses to wear the same well-worn chest protector that he's had for ~15 years. It's something I would have qualms about wearing for beer league hockey and he's wearing it against professionals. In a game against Chicago, Brodeur was screened when Patrick Kane took a harmless looking wrist shot which hit Brodeur on the elbow. The chest protector does not have built in elbow protection, so Brodeur wears Bill Guerin's old elbow pads. Guerin ceased to be a Devil in 1998. The elbow was bruised badly enough to keep Brodeur on the shelf for a number of games.

Pressed into action, Hedberg looked either really good or really bad. Moreso of the latter. Meanwhile, Hedberg makes 1.5 million against the cap (with a $500,000 base salary). Although I imagine it is a tough sell to prospective goalies that they'd potentially have to sit behind Brodeur. So you'd have to make sure that the guy you brought in has the right mentality and Hedberg does have the reputation of being a great locker room guy. But the price they paid was too high, albeit it's only a one year deal.

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It's mostly an exercise in futility to try to play armchair GM in December, but that's never stopped me before. At this point, the season is all but FUBAR and the goal ought to be to prepare for 2011-12. The next important date on the calendar is March 2nd, the league's trade deadline.

While things can always get a bit goofy when contending teams are desperate, the Devils might not have many pieces to dangle. Teams are generally reluctant to add players with remaining years left on their deals, so guys like Zubrus, Clarkson, and Salvador would have a limited market. Meanwhile other guys like Arnott, Langenbrunner, Elias, and Colin White have no trade clauses which limits the number of potential suitors.

More than likely, the deals will revolve around draft picks which would help replenish the 2nd rounder (given up for Arnott) and the 3rd rounder (gone as punishment for the first Kovalchuk contract). But the best case scenario would be snagging prospect defensemen or goalies with some AHL experience and could be ready for the NHL by October.

Arnott has looked okay this year. His numbers have been in the decline the last three years, but a 6'4 center with scoring ability will always be in demand at deadline time. Likely suitor would be Washington who lacks experience up the middle. Darkhorse would be St. Louis who could easily spare picks/prospects from their deep pool. Blues GM Doug Armstrong acquired Arnott in 2002 when he was GM of Dallas.

The Devils gave up prospect Matt Halischuk and a 2nd round pick for Arnott over the summer, so I'd expect a trade to essentially undo that swap. At the deadline last year, Carolina netted a 2nd round pick and warm body for Matt Cullen.

Arnott will be subject to the 35+ rule over the summer. I wouldn't be opposed to bringing him back on an economical Saku Koivu-esque two year deal assuming the Devils don't land a center with their top pick at the Draft.

Already seems like a distant memory when Langenbrunner was captaining the 2010 U.S. Olympic team while being in the midst of another 60 point season. Langenbrunner will be 36 by Opening Night, so the Devils will have to figure out if he's going to be worth keeping around for a few more years. Despite his meager offensive production, teams always value the proverbial veteran grit and playoff resume that Langenbrunner has amassed over the years.

Figure his value will be similar to Arnott's provided not all GMs judge Langenbrunner on just this season. The ideal landing spot would seemingly be Dallas who unexpectedly are amongst the leaders in the West. Langenbrunner has a history with the franchise, winning the Cup there in 1999. Even a year after being traded to New Jersey in 2002, Langenbrunner openly admitted that he never wanted to leave Dallas. Joe Nieuwendyk, Langenbrunner's longtime linemate in Dallas and New Jersey, also happens to be GM of the Stars.

An interesting name coming back the other way could be 24 year old (right handed!) defenseman Matt Niskanen. As a 21 year old, he led Dallas defensemen by a wide margin with a +22 rating (perhaps further proof that +/- isn't the most projectable stat). The following year, he led their blueline with 35 points. But the last two years, he's fallen off a cliff in terms of production. Last year, he only produced 15 points while being a -15. This year, he only had 4 points in 31 games with only one point coming at even strength. Healthy scratch for a stretch recently. Could use a change of scenery and would yield more immediate results than a 2011 draft pick.

Then there's the curious case of Andy Greene. A year ago, he was instrumental in the Devils winning the division. After being a healthy scratch to begin the season, Greene ended up leading the team in averaging over 23 minutes per game. After showing glimpses of offensive upside, he broke through with 37 points. He was instrumental in containing Sidney Crosby as the Devils went 6-0 against the Penguins last year.

He slowed down towards the stretch last year, but again there was reasonable hope that he could repeat that performance in 2010-11.

(buzzer)

The season thus far has been an unmitigated disaster for Greene. Dead last in the NHL in +/-, although that will happen when you play significant minutes a game for a terrible squad. After being paired with Bryce Salvador for virtually all of 2009-10, Greene has had a revolving door of defensive partners. Currently partnered with Mark Fayne and earlier with Olivier Magnan. Both ought to be a bottom pairing guys in the AHL. The +/- is somewhat exaggerated as Greene has been the victim of Fayne and Magnan obviously not belonging at this level.

Despite the rough season, Greene remains a bargain at $737,500. But he is an unrestricted free agent at the end of the season, so the Devils have to figure out if he's the type of guy they'd be willing to pay 2.5-3 million. But Greene also represents the best potential tradebait since he makes a paltry amount.

Several contending teams are vicariously near the salary cap (sadly the Devils are one of those, minus the contender part) and will undoubtedly be looking to fortify their blueline for the playoffs. A team like San Jose was rumored to be interested in re-acquiring Craig Rivet, but his 3.5 million dollar cap hit is a difficult fit without sending away another core player.

So hopefully somebody remembers how well Greene played last season. In particular, the Blackhawks have almost no cap space and three 2nd rounders at their disposal.

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This upcoming draft is the biggest piece of the puzzle moving forward. The Devils haven't picked in the top five since 1991 when they used Toronto's 1st rounder to select Scott Niedermayer.

There remains the possibility that the Devils, especially with the news that Jacques Lemaire is back behind the bench, could have a respectable 2nd half like Carolina last season. The Hurricanes went from vying for the top pick to drafting 7th overall (although they landed a great prospect in Jeff Skinner).

Scouts had been dreading this draft for a couple years as 2008/2009/2010 had produced quite a bit of depth. But 2011 was projecting to be average/below average outside. And unlike other years, the top of the draft class doesn't contain a "can't miss" prospect like Crosby, Ovechkin, or Stamkos. The consensus top 4 somewhat resembles the 2009 top 4 of John Tavares, Victor Hedman, Matt Duchene, and Evander Kane. But most seem to think that the quality of the guys from 5-10 isn't as good as recent years.

C Sean Couturier - Big center who tied for the QMJHL in scoring championship as a 16 year old. The last guy to lead the QMJHL in scoring as a 16 year old was some guy named Crosby, although Sid scored 135 points compared to Couturier's 96. Popular comparisons because of his size are Vinny Lecavalier and Eric Staal. Upside would be a potential #1 centerman which the Devils arguably have never had in the Lamoriello era.

D Adam Larsson - Right handed cerebral Swedish defenseman with good size. Like Hedman, Larsson was a rare 16 year old not only playing but doing well in the Swedish Elite League. Offensive numbers are down this year due to losing PP time to 2009 1st rounder David Rundblad, but Larsson remains amongst the league leaders in plus/minus. Upside to be the Swedish Drew Doughty. In terms of need, Larsson arguably would be the guy who'd have the most immediate impact for New Jersey. Might be the most NHL ready guy along with Couturier. For a franchise that was built on a foundation of Scott Stevens and Scott Niedermayer, the idea of drafting a potential All-Star defenseman is tantalizing.

LW/RW Gabriel Landeskog - Given my affinity for RH offensive defenseman, Larsson ought to be my annual mancrush but that title currently goes to Landeskog. The Swedish winger came over to North America last year to play for the powerhouse Kitchener Rangers. Landeskog had a very respectable year potting 24 goals in 61 games while being over a point per game in the OHL playoffs.

Kitchener lost 97 goals to the pros between Jeff Skinner and Jeremy Morin, as well as a productive defenseman in John Moore. Naturally most expected them to struggle, but instead their record is slightly better. Landeskog currently leads the club in goals, +/-, and penalty minutes. He was named team captain, somewhat rare occurrance for a draft eligible prospect. Doesn't have the highest upside, but who wouldn't want a Shane Doan type?

The other problem is that he's primarily listed as LW, which would be a bit crowded longterm with Parise/Kovalchuk. Still would remain the possibility of Landeskog shifting to RW.

C Ryan Nugent-Hopkins - Small but quick center has had a decent draft year thus far, but some are concerned that he only has 8 goals through 31 WHL games. Still there remains some serious playmaking upside and the Devils are lacking in that department with their centermen. Probably at least another year needed before making an NHL impact, but I would have said the same about the similarly sized Matt Duchene who did wonders for Colorado as an 18 year old.

While I'm not overtly rooting for the Devils to tank, if they don't turn it around I desperately hope they land in the top four. Outside of the those guys, there's a perceived drop in either upside and/or certainty.

D Ryan Murphy - Like Larsson, he'd fit an enormous need as a RH defenseman who could quarterback the power play. It's an institutionalized thought that you shouldn't take a tiny (5'10 165) defenseman this high, but with smallish D like Dan Boyle, Brian Rafalski, Kimmo Timonen, and Kris Letang showing you can win with those guys as your cornerstone, you would think that would ease fears. Murphy is a teammate of Landeskog in Kitchener and actually has one more point (from the blueline no less).

The downside here is that he might not be an ideal #1 defenseman. Ie, somebody like Brian Rafalski who had the benefit of spending most of his career with Scott Stevens and Nick Lidstrom to take the pressure off. If the Devils fall out of the top 4, Murphy could be the next best bet.

C Ryan Strome - Described by some as a poor man's Tyler Seguin who quickly rose to challenge Taylor Hall for the top spot last year. Strome hit a growth spurt over the summer and has been dominating play in the OHL. Currently leads all draft eligible players in scoring.

LW Brandon Saad - As the Gretzky era is still creating highly touted California prospects, the Lemieux era has produced a few guys out of the Pittsburgh area. Similar to Landeskog, slightly bigger but not quite as good in all facets. But another LW, so might be a tough fit for New Jersey.

D Dougie Hamilton - Perhaps I can't take him seriously as a prospect until he starts going by Doug. Lanky RH D at 6'3 putting up good numbers as Strome's teammate in Niagra of the OHL. Leads the team in PIMs and +/-. Would fit a need, but would likely be a couple seasons away from contributing at the NHL level (arguably the same with Murphy). Trouble with drafting for need is that you can't be quite certain that what you need today is what you'll need in 2+ years when these kids are ready.

And after those guys, there are couple of Russian centers currently making their way through the OHL like current Atlanta Thrasher Alex Burmistrov last year. Alex Khokhlachev is drawing comparisons to the energetic Burmistrov whose swift skating had made him one of the league leaders in penalties drawn. Vladislav Namestnikov entered the year as a top 10 prospect and is having a decent first year in North America. His father played a handful of games in the NHL while his uncle is former NHLer Slava Kozlov. Either guy could potentially fit as that elusive guy to center Kovalchuk.

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So without knowing exactly what the haul at the deadline and who the Devils end up with at the Draft it's virtually impossible to predict who they would target in free agency. One good bet is that they target a defenseman, but there aren't many ideal fits.

Tomas Kaberle and Andrei Markov would be perfect, but each will likely command 6+ million on the open market (ie, see Kimmo Timonen, Brian Rafalski, or even Sergei Gonchar as comparables). Barring a miracle, the Devils will probably only have 3-4 million to spend on a veteran defenseman. Christian Ehrhoff would be the next best option, but he's reportedly close to an extension with Vancouver which would likely pay him more than 4 million. Joni Pitkanen is another guy who'd be nice, but will likely be too pricy.

Ed Jovanovski and Bryan McCabe are vets who are still productive, but both would be subject to the 35+ older rule. After getting burned by Rolston (and Mogilny/Malakhov before that), one would hope that Lou doesn't tempt fate again.

So now you're down to the likes of Kevin Bieksa, Ian White, Eric Brewer, Trevor Daley, Anton Babchuk, James Wisniewski and others who could fit but have limitations in one facet or another.

One outside the box option would be Russian defenseman Ilya Nikulin. Drafted by Atlanta in 2000, he's never played in North America. 6'3 220, he can play physical while chipping in offensively. Made the 2010 Russian Olympic team, but like many of his compatriots, he had a short and uneven tournament. Although I can't find definitive KHL contract terms and I'm not 100% sure if his rights are still retained by Atlanta

In 2008, he came close to a contract with the Thrashers but negotiations fell through. By the rules of the CBA, Nikulin was still classified as a rookie and thus Atlanta could only guarentee him $900,000 plus performance bonuses. Meanwhile Nikulin could make 2.5+ million in his native Russia.

But now Nikulin is no longer bound by the entry level contract limitation. Years ago he claimed that the NHL was his dream, so there's always the chance he does come over. Signing European and NCAA free agents is fun if you can find the needle in the haystack. Sometimes you'll get a Rafalski, Martin St. Louis, or Jonas Hiller. But other times guys will flop like Fabian Brunnstrom or Peter Sejna. There isn't a ton of downside, although there would be the risk that he pulls a Jiri Dopita.

Dopita was a long time star in the Czech League who turned down numerous overtures to come to the NHL. He was part of the Gold Medal Czech team in 1998 and was considered by most to be the best player not in the NHL. Friend and teammate Roman Cechmanek eventually found success with the Philadelphia Flyers and convinced Dopita to finally give the NHL a chance. But Dopita was buried behind Jeremy Roenick and Keith Primeau, and struggled before being dealt to Edmonton. He immediately went back to the Czech Republic after that season.

In the NCAA, the top free agent defenseman is thought to be University of North Dakota senior Chay Genoway. The smallish (5'9) defenseman has continued to put terrific numbers for the Sioux and could step in immediately to the NHL. At times, he looks like a man among boys.

Then again, it's possibly because he is a man among boys. Currently in his 5th year of school, Genoway is 24 while some of his competition are still teenagers.

A couple years ago, Matt Gilroy won the Hobey Baker as a 24 year old and was a highly sought after free agent. Brian Burke mentioned that adding Gilroy would be like adding another first rounder. The Rangers won the bidding, but Gilroy has struggled at the NHL level.

As long as the bidding doesn't get too wild and the Devils don't rely on Genoway to play 20 minutes right away, there's not much downside in pursuing him.

In theory, goaltending should be an easier problem to fix. There are a handful of retreads who will undoubtedly be searching for an NHL job come summer. More than a few band-aid solutions as a one year backup since Brodeur, for better or worse, will likely be allowed to finish out the final year of his contract as the starter. Ideally, you could add a younger guy with some high end potential. Out of that limited list, Josh Harding could fit the bill as he'll only be 27.

Another guy would be Czech goalie Alexander Salak who is currently Florida property. Salak, soon to be 24, is amongst the leaders in the Swedish Elite league. But he might be blocked at the NHL level by another Panther prospect Jacob Markstrom who entered the year as a top 5 prospect in the World in most people's eyes. Depending on what Florida does with Vokoun, Salak could find himself in no man's land.

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So is there any hope? Realistically speaking, the Devils could rebound to be a playoff team but likely aren't going to be a contender in 2011-12. But next year also represents the final years of Rolston/White/Brodeur's contracts (13.2 million combined). There remains the possibility of retaining White/Brodeur at a highly decreased rate, but that amount of cap space could open up infinite more possibilities for 2012-13.

The media is quick to bash Kovalchuk as another Alexei Yashin, some Russian malcontent who worried about money first.

Brett Hull never achieved playoff success until he was surrounded by more talent in Dallas and then Detroit. Nobody looks down on his Cups just because he needed the likes of Modano, Nieuwendyk, Zubov, Belfour, Yzerman, Shanahan, Lidstrom, Hasek, etc.

Kovalchuk and the Devils were possibly doomed from the start of the 2010 offseason, but the situation isn't beyond being salvagable over the next few seasons.

2010-07-12T23:34:00.000-07:00

If you don't like reading about sports, avert your eyes. Although if you enjoy reading about stories where I fail to introduce myself to a cute girl, go ahead and fast forward to the end.

"Oh my god, this is so nerdy. I love it." -- Eugene

After years of toying with the idea, I finally attended my first NHL Draft. The Draft is usually in Canada or an Eastern state, which makes sense given the proximity of where most of the prospects and their families live. The closest I came before was 2003 in Nashville, but I already had a trip to Hawaii planned for the following week.

But this year, Luc Robitaille pulled some strings and convinced the NHL to hold the event in Los Angeles. Thus only requiring taking a day off and a friend's couch rather than a plane ticket and hotel.

With the Draft starting at 4pm local time, I decided well in advance that I'd need to take the day off and leave early from SD to avoid rush hour aggravation. Despite leaving a little after 9am, I still ran into traffic and didn't arrive until 12:30pm. And this is reason #1 I never had any desire to settle in LA.

(Had a couple friends from Edmonton who now live in San Diego who were supposed to make the trip up. They didn't leave until noonish and were stuck in Orange County by 3:30pm. They ended up turning around.)

One awesome aspect about the Draft is that you'll run into General Managers, coaches, former players (some in training to be executives), current players, draftees, and assorted media personnel at every corner. I went to go check out the Nokia Plaza across the street from Staples Center which was filled with various hockey related booths.

Within a couple minutes, I found myself chatting with longtime Kings announcer Bob Miller. Passed by first round prospect Derek Forbort and his family taking photos. Got stopped by two cameramen working for CBC and Sportsnet who wanted video of the makeshift jersey I made for likely #1 overall pick Taylor Hall. The TSN broadcast crew of Pierre McGuire, Bob McKenzie, and Gord Miller passed by as Eugene and I were finishing lunch.

Most people don't need to know how a cow gets slaughtered in order to enjoy a steak. Most reasonable hockey fans likely feel the same way about the Draft. They'd rather not immerse themselves in following guys that are likely 3+ years away from the NHL. They're happy enough seeing some young guys pop up every year without needing a Stephen Strasburg-esque buildup.

But to steal the theme from Cake's "Rock N Roll Lifestyle", there are enough dorks like me who enjoy seeing teams built from the ground floor.

Teams like the Penguins and Blackhawks have shown that the foundation for success in a salary capped environment is to draft and develop cheap players. (And ideally not have your GM screw it all up by paying your backup goalie and #4 defenseman 13 million combined)

Making the wrong pick on draft day can make all the difference. Walking by the Easton Hockey booth there was a giant banner featuring Ryan Getzlaf and Zach Parise. Since it prominently mentioned their draft positions, I couldn't help but think about how the Sharks drafted Steve Bernier directly ahead of both guys and whether San Jose might have gotten over the hump with either guy.

I actually submitted a form to volunteer at the Draft but the NHL declined my services. On the brightside, it looks like I would have been a glorified usher. On the downside, I might have gotten access to the official after party and shared a beer with various hockey execs.

Tickets to the draft were free, but the lower bowl was restricted to season ticket holders along with prospects and their friends/families. The Draft process isn't exactly the greatest spectator event and I figured it would be even less exciting in the nosebleeds at Staples.

Got inside the arena around 3pm and I wanted to try to sneak into the lower bowl if only for a token photo. My buddy Eugene is a season ticket holder and had a seat for the lower bowl. The usher quickly inspected his ticket to make sure he had access. I casually walked in with Eugene, hoping she'd just assume that we were sitting together. Success!

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Figured a team by team assessment would be overkill, so here are some scattered thoughts about the two days:

Unlike the NFL/NBA/MLB drafts, everybody is present and on the floor. So that creates a cool dynamic as you see GMs physically walk around trying to negotiate trades. Thanks to my super fun happy zoom lens, I got a good series of photos with Kings GM Dean Lombardi fervently negotiating a deal with Toronto for the 79th overall pick. In the background of this photo is future Hall of Famer Brendan Shanahan seemingly just hanging out. Also walking by is everybody's favorite Russian malcontent Kirill Kabanov who had just been drafted 65th overall.

Just kind of a cool cross-section of the NHL as a business. You got GMs in an argument over a relatively miniscule trade. You got Shanahan who became the NHL's Vice President of Hockey and Business Development after retiring in October. And then you got an 18 year old kid who has the potential to be a future All-Star if he gets his head on straight.

One of the subplots that had been noted during a pre-draft presentation was the profileration of hockey in California. Two California born prospects were expected to go in the first round. Several more were expected to be selected on Day 2.

The main guys were Emerson Etem out of Long Beach and Beau Bennett from Gardena. There's another SoCal forward named Shane McColgan who is expected to be a top 10 pick next year.

It took awhile, but this is certainly the Gretzky wave of kids finally making an impact. Gretzky came to LA in '88, so now you're seeing all these guys born in the early 90s who grew up in an environment where playing hockey was an option. Heck, the Flyers even signed a guy who grew up playing at Ice Station in Valencia.

(Yes, these kids were born in the '91 or '92. I even felt older knowing that some of their fathers were on my fantasy teams at one point.)

While warm weather prospects are still the huge minority, it is starting to become like a weird version of The Mighty Ducks 2. Along with the Californians, there were a couple prospects from Florida this year, and Texas had popped out a few guys.

The first round can lag heavily, even to a dork like me. At times, there were ten minutes between pick. Name gets announced, player hugs everybody in his entourage, makes it down to the stage, meets his new bosses, takes a few photos, conducts an interview with TSN, and cut to two minutes of commercials. The worst part is that we get no draft commentary inside the arena while all of that is happening.

Since the draft tables are arranged by order of standing, Toronto's table was in the first row and basically nearest to the stage. They had traded their first and second picks (along with a first next year) to Boston for Phil Kessel prior to the season. But the year was pretty much an unmitigated disaster for the Leafs and they yielded the 2nd overall pick.

TSN made sure to have a camera on the Leafs table as the Bruins were on the clock with the pick. Toronto has a fine tradition of forking over top selections which ended up yielding some guys named Scott Niedermayer and Roberto Luongo.

The New York Islanders had basically turned into the NHL's version of the Clippers over the last fifteen years. In 2006, things seemed like they might be on the turnaround as they finally fired GM Mike Milbury and brought in former Cup winning GM Neil Smith along with former Islander great Pat LaFontaine into the front office. Naturally both were fired/resigned after only a month. Backup goalie Garth Snow then retired and immediately assumed the GM position. That in itself is bizarre.

In 2006, the Islanders hired Ryan Jankowski to run their drafts and he had done a fairly admirable job to this point (albeit most of the prospects are very much still developing). I spotted Jankowski at a bar nursing a beer after the first round. Little did I know that he'd be fired a couple weeks later.

So look at the draft photo above. You have Islanders owner Charles Wang, GM Garth Snow, actor Kevin Connolly from Entourage, a kid who is presumably Wang's grandson, first round pick Nino Niederreiter, and Jankowski. Most draft tables had some staff member's little kid there to basically fetch them food. Most teams wouldn't drag the kid up on stage en lieu of say one of the numerous scouts who gave input into the decision. Or some Hollywood D-list actor.

Steve Yzerman was recently named the GM of the Tampa Bay Lightning who chose sixth overall. He received a much deserved standing ovation prior to announcing the pick.

Ron Francis announced the seventh overall pick for Carolina. You could hear crickets.

Oh poor Ronnie Franchise, he was overshadowed by Lemieux in Pittsburgh and played in anonymity in Hartford and Carolina. It's okay, I gave him a cheer. I remember that you have more career points than Yzerman.

Pet peeve: If you make the effort to go to a Draft, at least have some idea of what your team might be drafting. Especially if your team has a high pick. Case in point....

I was hanging out at the Bauer Hockey stand talking a cute Bauer rep girl. In walks an older dude sporting a Bruins jersey.

"Are you excited about Tyler Seguin?" -- Bauer girl
"I'm sorry, what?" -- Bruins guy
"Are you excited about Tyler Seguin?" -- Bauer girl
"I don't understand." -- Bruins guy
"Tyler Seguin, he's the guy Boston is probably going to end up with the 2nd pick." -- me
(blank stare from Bruins guy)

Pet peeve: If you spent $5.99 on The Hockey News' Draft Preview, please realize that it is not exactly Grey's Sports Almanac.

Obviously I'm at best a slightly better than informed fan, but I at least have the sense that most mock drafts and rankings will not reflect what actually happens.

And ever since I really started ramping up my prospect knowledge a couple years ago, I've come to realize:

A) The Hockey News has been god awful since the lockout.
B) NHL Central Scouting is respected for what it does, but their rankings are usually pretty bad too.

Unfortunately these are the two resources that are most accessible to fans who don't want to pay $50 for more in depth guides. The NHL funds its own scouting service (Central Scouting) to publish periodic rankings which supposedly are used by teams to augment their own research.

With each pick, fans would flip through their THN guides and lament "Oh man, the Islanders just took the #8 guy at #5. What idiots!"

Periodically they'd flash the rankings as done by Central Scouting on the scoreboard to give the fans some idea of who was left. This was particularly tough for Emerson Etem who Central had ranked #8 overall (and #4 forward) on their final list. Meanwhile, more accurate sources pegged Etem closer to #20.

So once he began to slip, the locals grew restless as the Long Beach native kept falling into the 20s while other forwards were being drafted.

"HOW CAN THEY KEEP PASSING ON THE 4th BEST FORWARD?" -- numerous people

I wish I had printed out a copy of Central Scouting's 2003 Final List and handed them out as a reminder that their rankings weren't the gospel.

When all was done, Etem did slip to Anaheim at #29 and was the 20th forward taken. But realistically, that would have been just as shocking if he had gone #8 or had been the 4th forward selected.

A significant number of folks come to the Draft every year expecting to hear Gary Bettman announce a blockbuster trade. Last year, the Chris Pronger deal was made on Draft Day. I still remember rolling out of bed in 2000, turning on the TV, and seeing a graphic that read:

Panthers: G Roberto Luongo, C Olli Jokinen
Islanders: LW Oleg Kvasha, RW Mark Parrish

This year certainly was a dud in that respect. Some figured Chicago would pull some fireworks given their salary cap situation as they already traded playoff hero Dustin Byfuglien prior to the Draft. Others thought the Kings might pull off a blockbuster to excite the hometown fans in attendance.

But it was only minor deals and/or seeds planted for subsequent deals down the line. Although I couldn't help but notice that Dean Lombardi and Brian Burke talking by themselves for several minutes during round 5. Couldn't help but wonder if that may have been Kaberle-related.

One of the unexpected things in round 1 was how defensemen Cam Fowler and Brandon Gormley dropped to #12 and #13 respectively. Most had considered them to be locks for the top 6.

It made some sense as the teams picking in the 5-10 range had higher needs at forward. The Rangers made the most surprising pick in selecting bruising defenseman Dylan McIlrath instead of Fowler/Gormley. I immediately gave the pick a standing ovation (and hopefully didn't jinx myself).

Every year there seems to be a tough defenseman with questionable hockey sense who gets selected a bit too high and never quite pans out; McIlrath potentially fitting that profile, although his supporters point to how much better he's gotten in the last six months and that he's just scratching the surface of his potential. Then again, I rest comfortably knowing that the Rangers' head scout was once the Islanders' head scout when they decided Mike Rupp was a top ten pick.

As for Fowler, he was supposed to be the latest "next Niedermayer" and challenge Hall for the #1 spot when the season began. Instead, he played like the second coming of Sandis Ozolinsh which apparently had teams worried.

Meanwhile Gormley didn't have any one star attribute, so teams opted for a potential first line forward rather than a more surefire #2/3 defenseman. Although unfortunately for the Pacific division, these guys fell to Anaheim and Phoenix respectively.

After the draft, had dinner with Eugene at Fleming's across the street. Two minutes after we were seated, Canadian Gold Medalist and Nashville defenseman Shea Weber got a table nearby. Later, we'd see various folks walk by on Figueroa. Florida first round Nick Bjugstad, Dallas coach Marc Crawford, Phoenix coach Dave Tippett amongst others.

We saw Emerson Etem's entourage walk by. Ten minutes later, Etem (still wearing a Ducks jersey) is walking by himself looking like his puppy had just been ran over.

Day 2 of the Draft runs much more smoothly. It's only broadcast on the NHL Network and there's much less fanfare. Teams announce their picks from their tables and the intervals are only a couple minutes if that between selections.

It was also funny to see teams get yelled at when they were lagging. The NHL rotated who was mediating the proceedings, there was one bitter old guy who announced over the PA "Colorado.....any time..."

Since no reasonable people would actually care about rounds 2-7, I managed to score a pretty sweet seat. I got an acknowledging head nod from the Devils' head scout David Conte. Had a brief conversation with Bob McKenzie and asked him "Where's my cigar" as a reference to a message board post that he commented on a few days before. It took him a few seconds, but he chuckled and asked "That was you huh?"

So the ~~ironic~~ funny tidbit was that after all these years of wanting to go to a Draft, I go the one year the Devils don't have a first round pick. They traded it away in the Kovalchuk deal, but they did get Atlanta's 2nd rounder (#38) back in return.

The Devils drafted a defenseman named Jon Merrill who *knock on wood* looks like a big steal at this spot. Merrill had been projected closer to the Devils' original slot at #24.

He had a dominant under-18 tournament which preceded the Draft. That tournament is usually the last impression a prospect gets to make, which sometimes makes a prospect get overrated since the two week event is a small sample space. But Merrill played well enough to seemingly cement a spot in the first round, if not the top 20. Some projected the 6'3 Merrill to be something like a Darryl Sydor, mobile and above average offensively and defensively.

But it was noted that Merrill didn't have the best of interviews with various clubs at the draft combine. There were some red flags about his character in the locker room along with an incident where he 'harrassed some girls' which led to him being suspended for two weeks during the season.

Enough clubs were scared off of Merrill and the Devils snatched him at #38. At the beginning of round 5, I was surprised to see Merrill and New Jersey GM Lou Lamoriello suddenly pop up five feet from me. Lou motioned for Merrill and his family to come down from the stands for a meet and greet. Since the Devils didn't have a fifth round pick, Lou used the down time to talk to them for around ten minutes. Couldn't help but assume it was a "You know why you dropped, it's time to grow up" lecture.........although more likely a "Welcome to the organization."

Eugene had work come up, so I attended Day 2 by myself. But I befriended my fellow ubernerds. One guy continuously yelled out "Draft Tom Kuhnhackl" for two hours. Kuhnhackl was considered a potential first round prospect before the season, but had a bit of a lost season in Germany and is playing in Canada next season. He ended up being taken by Pittsburgh in the fourth round.

After the draft, I was loitering around Staples Center to see who might pop out. Kuhnhackl walked by us we had the standard "Congrats/Thank you" exchange. The fan boy then asked me "Who was that?"

"Uhm.....that was your boy Tom Kuhnhackl." He hurriedly skimmed through his THN Draft Guide for a photo and attempted to find his Sharpie in vain.

Couldn't help but make fun of him for not being able to recognize his favorite prospect. "Well, there he goes, walking out of your life."

I sat halfway through round five before I decided I'd rather watch the end of the USA/Ghana match. In particular, I had made the declaration that I'd leave as soon as Troy Rutkowski was drafted.

In my really geeky fantasy league (geeky fantasy league is obviously redundant), I had drafted Rutkowski 53rd overall to get my token Portland Winterhawk now that Johansen/Niederreiter weren't options. He projected to be a better fantasy player than real life player and most thought he was a 3rd rounder at worst. But he didn't go until pick #137.

As I was packing up my things, Phoenix drafted goalie Louis Domingue with pick #138. Was surprised and even mildly startled when I heard a boisterous cheer across the arena. It was Domingue and his family.

Every year, the NHL tries to warn prospects to come to the Draft at their own peril. Unless you're guaranteed to be a top 60 pick, prospects are basically told its better that they stay at home else they'd get the Aaron Rodgers treatment. But every year, guys will show up--much easier when the Draft is in say Ottawa or Montreal like the previous two years.

By the end of the 2nd round, teams would announce names and we'd only hear periodic bursts of joy from families still present.

One good thing about not staying for the entire draft might have been not seeing some undrafted 18 year old kid in a suit traveling across the continent to realize his dream was possibly over. And I'm sure there were more than a few that day.

After the Kuhnhackl thing, I also had a quick conversation with former Devil Steve Thomas. His son Christian was drafted by the Rangers in the 2nd round.

I was struggling to think of something clever to say. Thomas' tenure with the Devils weren't exactly his banner years. While he had a couple of good seasons, he was also the guy that we got in exchange for Claude Lemieux while he was the reigning Conn Smythe winner in 1995.

The 95-96 Devils were also infamous for being one of the few teams that didn't even qualify for the playoffs after winning the Cup. Lemieux had the reputation of performing in the playoffs and the Devils didn't make it out of the 2nd round until they got Lemieux back in 2000 (albeit Claude wasn't really a defining player by then).

Couldn't exactly say "Man, sucked that the Devils won two Stanley Cups sandwiched around your time there."

Thomas would go on to sign a 3 year deal with the Maple Leafs in 1998. The Devils would knock them out of the playoffs in 2000 and 2001.

If I was really a dick, I could have mentioned "Man, sucked that you were on those really good Leafs teams that just weren't as good as the Devils. Remember when you guys only mustered six shots in an elimination game?"

Thomas would have one more good playoff run with Anaheim in 2003........and the Ducks lost to the Devils in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final. Yeah, suffice to say I wanted to be respectful around a 20 year NHLer who never got to raise the Cup.

I still remember saving a copy of the Union Tribune's sports page which had a picture of a saddened Steve Thomas as its cover picture. I guess I could have mentioned that the most I ever spent on tickets for a hockey game was game 4 of the 2003 Stanley Cup Finals, and that I had the worst seat in the house for his 1-0 overtime winner.

And it would have been in bad taste for "Well, I guess I have to root against your son." Everything that was popping in my head about Steve Thomas might have resulted in him punching me in the throat. So I stuck to very generic "Oh you must be very proud" and "always a pleasure meeting a great player."

A day later, I remembered a story which might have gotten a laugh out of him. There was a November '95 game against the then Mighty Ducks that I remembered listening to on the radio. The Devils got destroyed 6-1.

In that game, Steve Thomas scored the Devils' only goal. But the funny part was that Thomas' shot had gone through the netting and play continued. On the same shift, Ken Daneyko scored. But the referees reviewed the Thomas shot and ruled that it was a goal. So the Daneyko goal ended up being nullified.

Steve Thomas scored 421 regular season goals during his NHL career. Ken Daneyko scored 36 in a 20 year career spanning nearly 1300 games.

By then I had coincidentally switched into my Daneyko jersey. I totally missed the opportunity to bring up that story and ask "Steve, why couldn't you have told the refs to let Dano have that one?"

After that, we saw an Islanders prospect (I thought it was Kirill Kabanov) walking around with a confused look on his face. Somebody asked him if he was looking for something.

"I'm trying to get back inside the arena, my parents are still in there."

He then explained to security that he wasn't some fan trying to re-enter and they let him back in. It took me a few seconds to realize it was Kabanov since I was thrown off by the lack of accent. Then I remembered that he was noted for speaking really well. But I missed my photo opp. D'oh.

And what would an entry be without me failing with women. Naturally I had fleeting hopes that I'd meet my soul mate at an event such as this. Spotted a couple gals after Day sporting Sharks paraphernalia. That alone is usually +1, but the chance they actually traveled to attend the draft was a potential +3.

But they were with a couple other dudes and I guess I didn't want to be Captain Trying To Hit On Your Girl, but I ended up befriending the guys and chatting it up for a few minutes with them as the girls kinda wandered about.

Eventually they were headed in another direction, so I did the customary "Have a safe ride back to San Jose, enjoy the rest of the weekend" as the other guys said adios. The one girl then says an agitated "Nice meeting you." And since then, both guys have added me as Facebook friends.

Yeah, I suck.

2010-05-16T22:45:00.000-07:00

Still not quite sure why I always take "You don't look Vietnamese" as a compliment.

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It seems like an everyday occurance that I'll either say or think a Simpsons quote. I can't ever go to the soda machine at work and not quietly mutter under my breath "Mountain Dew or Crab Juice?"

So, why not apply the Simpsons to the otherwise boring story of my house hunt?

Homer: All right, we're here. Now let us never speak of the shortcut again.

The whole process went by relatively smoothly.......that or I've already repressed all the memories of the whole process.

Had plenty of arguments with the parents along the way. I suppose I appreciated the input since I know I'm way too easy going and trusting, whereas my Dad was high strung and treating everybody like a shady used car salesman.

Even though my parents were supposed to be hands off, it felt like I was constantly playing peacemaker between my Dad and my realtor. I had been recommended the same realtor by a couple friends, so I felt pretty solid knowing my friends wouldn't give me a bad recommendation.

Meanwhile my Dad constantly complained about how he didn't trust her, mostly because he didn't choose her nor was she Vietnamese.

Marge: The first house I have to show you is, ummm, a handyman's dream! [pause] Because it's so dilapidated. Hmmmmm.

Ned: Well, nothing's perfect. I'd sure hate to make you come out here, and not buy a house! [Ned reaches for his check book]

Maude: Now slow down, Neddy. The homebuyer's course said "always look inside the house before buying."

There was one house that my Dad was nagging me to check out. The listing only had one exterior photo which was hardly intriguing. And the seller had the caveat that nobody was allowed to come inside. Might just be me, but I might actually like to look inside a place before putting in a six figure bid.......despite that, my Dad still kept pressing me to go drive by, perhaps to confirm that the place did in fact have a roof and the picture wasn't photoshopped.

Homer: Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.
Lisa: That's home owner tax.

If I were to draw a graph of my perceived price range over time, it would have resembled the first thirty seconds of a rollercoaster. After looking at a few places, I started thinking I could aim higher. Then I started going through the actual paperwork and discovered exactly how much it would cost every month...

Meanwhile, my parents did the opposite. I remember emailing a listing to my Dad to get some feedback. Without saying anything about the house, he just said that I couldn't possibly afford it without finding a rich divorcee from Del Mar.

A month later, he emails me a listing for a house on the same street with the same exact floorplan and says "This one looks pretty good." And this listing was more expensive than the previous one.

Homer: Aagh! Pink? Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different..."

About a week after the Vegas hockey tournament (ie, last time I bothered to update the blog), I saw six houses in one day which was a bit of a sensory overload. The first five places were fairly craptactular, but we were pleasantly surprised by the last place.

It came to be known as the Pink Room house. Location was good, price was relatively good, and the house was in phenomenal shape despite being older than I had been aiming. But the master bedroom/bathroom had Pepto Bismol-esque pink walls.

It came onto market on a Friday and we saw it on Saturday. Had an offer in by Saturday night, got a counteroffer on Sunday which was then accepted. By Monday, we were told that they were going with another offer. My head was spinning to say the least. They did tell us that we were the 'backup' offer which at that point felt as good as a girl telling me "I think you're a really nice guy."

A few weeks later, I was in a pretty crummy mood at work. By this point, my Dad was calling me seemingly like three times a day to complain about me, the house hunt, my realtor, the quality of canned corn, etc. I was about ready to head out the door for hockey when my realtor called and opened with "Good news."

The initial buyers backed out for unknown reasons, so the ball was in our court. That alone was a much needed shot of euphoria, although I did not know I was only on step 3 of 107 at the time.

Homer: Stupid Sexy Flanders

Early in January, I saw a house on Flanders Drive which was pretty damned awesome. Four bedrooms, three full bathrooms, enormous living room, and an auxiliary living room (aka mancave). If I was renting out the other three rooms, I could basically be autonomous to the rest of the house with the master bedroom and mancave.

Unfortunately I was hardly alone in liking the place. We put in an offer, but instead of getting a counteroffer or even a polite "thanks, but no thanks", the selling agent seemingly went out of his way to tell us that our offer was nowhere in the ballpark.

I really liked the place, so I upped the initial offer hoping to induce at least a counteroffer but once again the selling agent gave us the same treatment.

Pretty much gave up, but couldn't help but notice that it came back onto the market a couple times. Then while we were in escrow with the Pink Room house, I get a phone call from my realtor.

The gist was that the Flanders place was back on the market again, but this time the selling agent actively called us and said that the place was ours if increased our offer by a reasonable amount. So we had to decide pretty quickly which avenue to pursue.

Put in a revised offer for the Flanders house while also trying to figure out if I was legally obligated to the Pink Room house. The latter caused quite an argument between myself and the Dad. My Dad apparently stormed out of the house in Saugus out of anger after I suggested he was thinking ten steps too far and that I didn't trust that selling agent one iota.

And naturally the selling agent informed us that they were going with a different offer. Surprisingly my Dad never said "You know son, you were right, and my temper tantrum proved to be over nothing."

....and then out of curiosity, I just looked up what became of the Flanders house. Apparently it went back on the market a third time and they ended up selling it for 7K less than my final offer.

Let's have a slow clap for the selling agent!

(Although I have to assume that the home inspectors found some gnarly things wrong with that house to cause people to back out three separate times, so I might have dodged a bullet.)

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So we proceeded with the Pink Room house. The next part was hiring an inspector and making of list of things that we needed the seller to fix before we agreed to it.

One item need eventual upgrade was the upstairs railing since a child's head could fit through the opening between bars. We all agreed that it could be deferred, but I did enjoy my Dad sending a reply all email with "We do not expect Don to have children in this property."

I guess I shouldn't have taken offense, since the idea is that I have this place for a handful of years, hopefully sell for a profit, and then get a new place when I'm ready to start a family. But I could help but chuckle and thinks "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

Seemed like an eternity, but a few weeks later all the paperwork was done and I had the keys. I couldn't move in immediately since my Dad requested that I move in at a certain time on a particular date. Why?

"My aunt in Vietnam is a really good fortune teller."

Just because I didn't want to extend the conversation to the point where I'd find out I'd need to sacrifice a goat, I quietly complied and changed the subject.

Felt awesome to walk in the first time without being accompanied by my realtor, although it wasn't exactly like how I had pictured it in my head.

So because of some great-aunt I've never met, I couldn't move in until after 8pm. So it was dark and I didn't have lights in all the rooms. I had always envisioned sharing the experience with a pregnant wife and possibly a golden retriever by my side.....taking a sunny photo by the "~~For Sale~~ Sold" sign. Then again, that's not necessarily out of the cards.

Homer: Wow! A houseboat, you know the great thing is if you don't like your neighbors you can just pull up the anchor and sail someplace else. (all the nearby boats leave)

Found it amusing that my next door neighbors moved out almost precisely as I moved in. Coincidence.....I think.

Homer: Do you come with the car?
Model: (giggles) Oh, you.
next man: Do you come with the car?
Model: (giggles) Oh, you.

First on my list of things to buy was a nice sofa. I cringe to think of the couch we had in our Del Mar apartment back in 2003......I think the story went that my old roommate found it somewhere in Ocean Beach. And then the sofa we had in Mira Mesa (which we gave to other friends who apparently are leaving it for another group I know) dated back at least 10 years through various hockey friends. So I figured I'd splurge and get a new couch.

When I went up to Seattle, the friends I crashed with had a nice sofa with a chaise sectional and I pretty much decided then that I'd be getting a similar one. Visited a handful of stores before finding the one I liked. I would have bought it regardless, but the saleswoman being pretty cute wasn't a detractor. If I were more smooth, I could have convinced her to use her commission to go with me to the Toad the Wet Sprocket show.

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It's been almost exactly two months now that I've been here. Aside from the couch, I didn't load up on furniture knowing my friends would be bringing theirs eventually. Helped them move in most of their stuff yesterday and it seems like we're running out of space.

As a thank you for helping them move, I was taken to Sizzler......if only for the novelty of singing "We goin' Sizzler, we goin' Sizzler."

Circa 1988, I remember waiting in line for 45 minutes to order at the Sizzler in Canyon Country. Sometimes I wonder if their downfall was caused by a bad business plan, an oversaturated marketplace, or White Men Can't Jump.

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I had a rough draft of this post written about a month ago. But what happens when I didn't bother finishing? This section went from "Awesome, the Devils won the division again" to "WTF?"

Wrote up a fairly lengthy eulogy, but I figure I'll spare everybody from the jelly smashing horror.

But for shits and giggles, let's tackle a question that's frequently posed to me by non-hockey friends: How on Earth did you end up a hockey fan?

I took one sociology class while I was at UCSD ~~just to take a class that might have more than 5% women~~ to fulfill one of many Revelle requirements. The subject as a whole is pretty interesting, how much of who we are is based on our surroundings?

After looking back, there was a pretty specific sequence of events that turned me into a hockey fan and eventually fanatic.

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We moved up to Saugus in 1987 when I was six and was at an age where I could begin to grasp baseball and basketball. My first memories were of the Kirk Gibson home run and the Lakers winning back-to-back titles. I was pretty spoiled to say the least. Just imagine if I had grown up in a town with mediocre teams, perhaps I would have taken up poetry.

Wayne Gretzky got traded to the Kings in August of 1988, which put hockey on the radar (sorta) even in our household. I also started to understand the game with the help of NES Ice Hockey after getting my Nintendo ~1989.

The Kings quickly improved but weren't able to have much playoff success. I remember listening to a Kings/Flames overtime game during the 1990 playoffs on the radio during a long car ride home. Got home just in time to turn on the TV and see Mike Krushelnyski score on a freak shot to win.

Hockey was still a distant fourth behind baseball, basketball, and football at that time. But it was gradually climbing my interest level. Gretzky even had a short lived Saturday morning cartoon show with Michael Jordan and Bo Jackson.

Pivotal moment #1: Magic Johnson tests positive for HIV and abruptly retires in November 1991.

At the time, I was too young to fully grasp what HIV was but the bottom line was that Magic Johnson wasn't going to play again.

This was more or less was the end of the Showtime era Lakers. After that, I had to endure the mediocre years when the pre-Shaq/Kobe Lakers had Vlade Divac, Elden Campbell, Sedale Threatt, Anthony Peeler, Eddie Jones, Nick Van Exel, and Cedric Ceballos. My interest in basketball quickly waned and really never recovered.

Pivotal moment #2: The LA Kings make a Cinderella run to the Stanley Cup Finals in June 1993.

This was bandwagon hopping time.....which was permissable since I was still only 11. I have zero recollection of the opening series against Calgary. Only have vague memories of the Vancouver series. Even the Conference Finals against Toronto, the only indelible memory was Gretzky scoring a hat trick in the deciding game 7. The Kings would fall short against Montreal, but the important thing was that everybody was talking about hockey.

Pivotal moment #3: Major League Baseball goes on strike in August 1994.

Baseball was still my favorite sport up to this point. After the 1988 World Series, I didn't have a particular interest in the Dodgers. My favorite player was Chili Davis who was on the Angels until being traded to Minnesota in 1991. Decided to "become" a Twins fan at that point and I was rewarded with another memorable World Series.

(On a side note, I just remembered that my Dad took me and my cousin to a Twins/Angels game in June 1992. He even took the day off to drive us down to Anaheim. And he said I never liked baseball. This day was also of other importance since that was the first time I played Street Fighter II in some arcade in Little Saigon. "Don didn't like baseball" my ass.)

Davis would resign with the ~~Anaheim~~ California Angels in 1993, so I abandoned the Twins but was still only lukewarm about the local teams for the next two seasons.

Then the strike happened. As a 12/13 year old, I was oblivious to the financial side of the games. So I wasn't really able to comprehend why baseball decided to cancel its postseason. I remember one writer who penned an article with his fictional account on how the season ended. Basically answering the question of whether Montreal could win the World Series, could Matt Williams break Roger Maris' home run record, and would Tony Gwynn be the first since Ted Williams to hit .400.

Most people note that interest in baseball dipped when they came back in 1995 and I was one of them. Baseball would regain the spotlight in 1998 with the Sosa/McGwire home run chase. I'd get back into it in 1996 but as a converted Padre fan thanks to Ken Caminiti. But the damage was done.

Pivotal moment #4: The Rams and Raiders both leave Los Angeles in 1995.

The baseball strike was one thing, but combo that with TWO NFL teams moving elsewhere? From that point on, football really was on the backburner until after I graduated college.

When I started UCSD in 1998, I intended to get into football then but was quickly swamped by schoolwork. I suppose it's a fortunate thing that the Padres and Chargers weren't really worth watching while I was in school; I barely graduated on time as is.

Pivotal moment #5: Kings miss the playoffs in 1994, Devils fill the void and win the Cup in 1995.

The Kings slumped badly following their improable Finals appearance. They made a couple bad moves (outlined in more detail below) and missed the playoffs by a wide margin.

The other "cool" kids I was trying to fit in with all had picked other teams to cheer for, with the majority throwing their loyalties to the Sharks. Just to be different, I ended up going with the Devils for no good reason other than their clever logo.

I was probably too angered by the baseball strike to really remember the 94-95 NHL strike. But I suppose the NHL didn't cancel their entire season, so before I knew it was the playoffs. The Kings missed the playoffs again. And I had to cheer for the Devils or else appear like some no good frontrunner.

The Devils had a mediocre season but managed to win the Cup as a #5 seed. Despite being a heavy underdog in the Finals, the Devils swept the Red Wings. It probably was an added bonus that my sister's then boyfriend was a big Red Wings fan.

So the equation of: Devils championship + mediocre Lakers team + baseball strike + Raiders/Rams bailing = hockey fanatic

But there was a small window that the Kings could have easily won me back as a fan in 1995. But let's go over how the Kings turned their Western Conference championship roster into a flaming bag of dog poop in three short years:

August '93 - Kings trade D Marty McSorley to the Penguins for LW Shawn McEachern.

Not even two months removed from the Cup Finals appearance, McSorley signed a 5 year, 10 million dollar offer sheet with the St. Louis Blues. The Kings matched the offer but ownership decided they couldn't afford to pay the contract, so they shipped him to Pittsburgh for McEachern who was only 23 and coming off an impressive rookie year where he potted 28 goals and 64 points.

So in theory it wasn't a bad idea since McEachern was a nice shot of youth into an otherwise older set of forwards....

February '94 - Kings trade LW Shawn McEachern and RW Tomas Sandstrom for D Marty McSorley and D Jim Paek

So after half a season, the Kings decided that McEachern didn't fit and they desperately needed McSorley back. But they couldn't do a straight reset on the original trade and instead also included one of my favorite players in Sandstrom for a Korean born defenseman?

(my 10th grade English teacher was from Pennsylvania and often would tell me how awesome Paek was when the Pens won their Cups)

At the time, I liked Sandstrom might have been my favorite player not named Gretzky. Sandstrom was 2nd on the team behind Gretzky in points during the previous playoffs. Paek would play 18 games for the Kings and would be out of the NHL shortly thereafter. Sandstrom would put together a couple more productive seasons for the Pens.

Allegedly, Sandstrom had been threatening to go back to Sweden, so that might have hampered the Kings from getting proper value.

But even the 12 year old version of myself knew those two trades didn't exactly add up. That was like trading lunches with somebody, then realizing you had been bamboozled to the point where you were offering the other person $3 to trade back.

July '94 - The Kings trade LW Luc Robitaille to the Penguins for RW Rick Tocchet and a pair of draft picks.

Gretzky and Robitaille allegedly did not get along at all. Gretzky and Tocchet had a pre-existing friendship (which later would get them into some hot water). Vaguely remember a story that Gretzky and Tocchet were at a mutual friend's wedding and Gretzky told him that the Kings were going to trade for him....possibly a euphemism for Gretzky forcing management's hand into trading a guy he didn't like for somebody he could hang out with on the road.

Robtaille was barely a year removed from setting the record for most goals/points scored by a LW (the goals record wasn't broken until Ovechkin's 2007/08 season). Tocchet also had an awesome 1992-93 season, posting 48 goals and 109 points but had an injury riddled 1993-94 season while also being two years older than Robitaille.

In the lockout shortened 94-95 season, Tocchet led the Kings in goals but with a paltry total of 18.

February '95 - The Kings trade D Alexei Zhitnik, D Charlie Huddy, G Robb Stauber, and a 5th round draft pick to the Sabres for G Grant Fuhr, D Phillipe Boucher, and LW Denis Tsygurov.

When you trim the fat, the trade was Zhitnik for Fuhr/Boucher. When the Kings made the Cup Finals, they had a young D core consisting of a 23 year old Rob Blake, a 20 year old Alexei Zhitnik, and a 20 year old Darryl Sydor. That was the kind of D that most teams would love to keep together for the next decade.

But with the Kings struggling yet again, goalie Kelly Hrudey became the scapegoat. When in doubt, the answer was to acquire one of Gretzky's buddies from his glory days in Edmonton. In this case, goalie Grant Fuhr who had his #1 spot in Buffalo usurped by Dominik Hasek.

Allegedly, a young and wealthy Zhitnik came into trouble with the Russian mob in LA. I've read unsubstantiated stories that Zhitnik was almost dropped off a bridge. So perhaps the Kings were doing him a favor by getting him out of there and sending him to western New York.

Zhitnik had two full NHL seasons under his belt with 48 and 52 points. So it wasn't surprising that he had a productive ten year tenure with the Sabres.

Meanwhile, Fuhr immediately crapped the bed upon arriving in LA. In 14 games, he posted a GAA of 4.04 and a save percentage of .876. Possibly remotivated by the trade, Kelly Hrudey immediately started playing better and finished the season as the #1. The Kings missed the playoffs by one point, no doubt hampered by Fuhr's 1-7-1 record in net.

Fuhr was let go after that season and landed with St. Louis where he'd ~~do some crack~~ have a renaissance and play in a record 79 games while giving the Blues four good seasons.

Phillipe Boucher was the proverbial bubble player who could never quite find a permanent spot on the Kings blueline. In 2001-02, he finally had a breakout season. Unfortunately for the Kings, Boucher was able to take advantage of a free agency loophole and immediately sign with Dallas.

July '95 - The Kings win the draft lottery and select D Aki Berg with the 3rd overall pick.

In 1993, the Ottawa Senators ownership alluded to tanking on purpose so they could draft Alexandre Daigle with the first overall pick. This led to the NHL to establish the draft lottery which was instituted for the first time in 1995.

Originally, the Kings were set to select 7th overall. But thanks to the lottery, they got moved up to 3rd overall.

The consensus was that the top 3 players were all D: Bryan Berard, Wade Redden, and Aki Berg. Berard was drafted by Ottawa, Redden by the Islanders--when Berard refused to sign with the Senators, he was swapped for Redden a year later--leaving Berg to the Kings.

It's a rare breed (see: Drew Doughty) to see a defenseman jump immediately into the NHL and not have it hamper their development. The Kings thrust Berg into the deep end of the pool and essentially drowned.

(We went to a Kings' sponsored hockey tourney at their practice facility in El Segundo. The rink was adorned with large banners of past players. Couldn't help but think it's about time they took down Berg's.)

In 2001, the Kings would eventually cut bait with Berg and get a draft pick in return. Luckily for LA, they turned that draft pick into Michael Cammalleri.

January '96 - The Kings trade RW Rick Tocchet to the Boston Bruins for LW Kevin Stevens.

Stevens was a late round pick of the Kings way back in 1983. But less than three months after being drafted, the Kings shipped him to Pittsburgh.

Stevens would then put up some gaudy numbers playing alongside Mario Lemieux, Jaromir Jagr, and Ron Francis in the early 90s. Stevens had four straight years of at least 40 goals prior to the lockout year, so he stood to get a substantial raise. Not being able to meet his contract demands (and likely realizing his numbers were inflated), Pittsburgh dealt the Massachusetts native to Boston. The Bruins would proceed to sign Stevens to a huge 5 year, 25 million dollar deal.

After acquiring Tocchet for Robitaille, the Kings soon realized they were lacking punch off the left wing. So they swapped Tocchet for Stevens.

Somehow they didn't think it was a GIANT RED FLAG that Boston was more than willing to deal Stevens four months after signing a five year deal.

(I distinctly remember being in Little Saigon reading the L.A. Times recap of the deal and thinking "...Stevens is better than Tocchet, right?")

Stevens had an awful season and a half as an LA King. The Kings were later able to hoodwink the Rangers into giving them back Robtaille for Stevens, a move which helped LA into the new millenium.

February '96 - The Kings trade D Darryl Sydor to the Stars for D Doug Zmolek and RW Shane Churla

After showing some promise early in his career, Sydor had begun to get booed every time he touched the puck. The Kings decided that it was a wise decision to not stay the course and instead deal the 23 year old Sydor, who'd average 42 points over seven full seasons in Dallas.

And what did the Kings get? Zmolek was an injury prone stay at home defenseman who would be out of the NHL before he turned 30. Churla was a well liked enforcer.....who played 11 games in LA before being traded again.

So between two young studs in Zhitnik and Sydor, the Kings basically got nothing in return.

February '96 - The Kings trade C Wayne Gretzky to the St. Louis Blues for C Roman Vopat, LW Craig Johnson, LW Patrice Tardif, 1st round choice in 1997.

This was basically the straw that broke the camel's back in terms of me ever choosing the Kings over the Devils.

LA was in the uneviable position where they knew Gretzky was going to leave via free agency so they had to get something for him. The team was going through ownership changes and apparently bungled the negotiation.

While Gretzky's stay in St. Louis was short and only remembered for the ugly jersey numbers and Steve Yzerman blasting a shot past Jon Casey to beat them in double overtime in game 7, the Kings again managed to get a paltry amount for the most iconic player in hockey history.

Craig Johnson was a reasonable role player but never matched his 17 goal, 38 point campaign in his first full season with the Kings. Sadly he was the most productive part of the trade.

Roman Vopat was projected to be something similar to what Michal Handzus is today. The Kings possibly thought it was a cute marketing ploy since they had acquired Jan Vopat (older brother) the previous season. But neither Vopat brother panned out and both were out of the NHL before the new millenium.

Patrice Tardif was a filler body and never played in the NHL after the 95-96 season.

The first round choice in 1997 was the last hope. The 1997 Draft was supposed to be deep and the Kings possessed the 3rd and 29th picks to go along with the Blues pick which was 15th overall.

The Kings went with 6'3 center Olli Jokinen 3rd overall whom they'd give the Aki Berg treatment and rush into the NHL before he was ready. At number 29, they drafted 6'4 right wing Scott Barney who showed some promise before suffering a debilitating back injury which derailed his NHL potential.

With the St. Louis pick, the drafted 6'4 left winger Matt Zultek. The team would later brag about the potential of a Zultek-Jokinen-Barney power forward line.

But Zultek never developed offensively and the Kings didn't even bother to sign him. So for Wayne Gretzky, the Kings ended up with a few years of Craig Johnson.

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Vegas trip planned for Memorial Day weekend, current theme seemingly "Why aren't any of my friends fans of The Beatles?"

Save me Jebus.

2010-01-24T21:30:00.000-08:00

I had been aiming to do a highly self-serving decade in review type of post, but I really disliked how it turned out. Predictably, there was too much sports talk and not enough stories with me and supermodels in hot tubs.

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Lately, I've been spending most of my free time looking at homes. Early on, I quipped that the process was very similar to how I approach women. Not necessarliy afraid to commit, just don't want to commit to the wrong one only to not realize it five years later.

Also, I have a tendency to like a house......only to have my feelings wane as soon as I have time to pick out the imperfections. Pretty much what happens when I meet women.

So there's a daily allotment of time spent towards looking at online listings. My favorite "find" was this person with a rather fancy looking Eazy-E blanket. It's typical to request that the owner leave appliances or give a credit towards repair. I was almost tempted to send in a lowball offer just so I could request that I get the blanket.

(A few weeks after seeing this, my sister sent me a link to a house. I was giddy when I realized it was the Eazy-E house)

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It was an odd holiday as my folks are abroad, so I don't have any family obligations. With the proverbial green light, I had some motivation to go travel somewhere exotic but it did seem a bit peculiar to spend Christmas without friends and family.

Promised my cousin a Vegas trip as his Xmas present and we planned on going from the 26th-28th. Then my buddy Steve ended up getting a free room at the Palazzo from the 21st-24th, and he invited me to join his family knowing I was a bit of a Christmas orphan.

That left me with a couple of options:

A) Stay in Vegas for six straight days and have my cousin meet me out there. Seemed somewhat "practical" but the thought of being alone for the 25th didn't sit right. Had a conversation with another buddy who had a pretty bad experience with Christmas without any friends/family.

B) Go to Vegas with Steve with the first leg, fly back to San Diego on Christmas morning, drive through OC/LA with stops at my sister's/various friends, and then drive back out to Vegas with my cousin on the 26th. This was one confirmation button click away from happening before my stupid conscience got involved. Something about "You're going to Vegas in four days, you don't need to go twice" and "You're going back to Vegas in three weeks numb nuts" and "You might want to finish off your Xmas list before splurging on a spontaneous Vegas visit" and "You're trying to buy a house, you might want to curb these unnecessary trips."

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Niece woke me up on Xmas morning by gouging my eyes. Was a bit strange to not have any presents to open, although my sister did get me some nice clothes a few weeks ago. Made a stop in Placentia and had Christmas dinner with my adoptive Tran family. Unfortunately was reduced to watching the Chargers/Titans game on a fuzzy internet stream feed, but the prime rib was well worth the tradeoff.

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The drive out to Vegas was fairly smooth and included a stop at the Big Boy. Trip was a little weird in that I was battling a cold and my cousin was technically "working" on East Coast time and had to be up at 6am to field a conference call. So we didn't exactly burn the midnight oil.

Gambling for this trip was backwards. Blackjack was highly profitable, but poker was not. Was in a group of four with my cousin's friends as we were walking through the Palazzo looking for a cheap table. Spotted a $15 blackjack table with three open seats. I volunteered to sit out and the rest of the guys ran into a buzzsaw. Within five minutes, the guys dropped $100 as the rest of the table vacated.

I decided to try my luck and bought in for $100. First two hands, the dealer continued his hot streak getting 20 and 21. Arbitrarily decided to bet $20 on the next hand and was dealt 8-8 against something adventageous like a 5. Split those and get dealt another 8. Split those and get dealt a 3. I have to pull out money out of my wallet to complete the double down. So I hadn't been at the table 90 seconds and already found myself all-in.

Dealer ended up busting and the table got hot after that. After I was up $100, I decided not to get greedy and cashed out. The other guys rejoined the table and recouped their losses.

I'll spare you guys the poker stories, but let me just say that limit poker is the devil.

Managed not to buy the Stormtrooper hoodies. I'm saddened that I just had to Google whether if stormtrooper is officially one word or two.

Didn't experiment too much with food on this trip. Had a solid but forgettable filet at BOA steakhouse at Caesar's. Had my first fried chicken and waffles experience at the Grand Lux Cafe. Our room at the MGM also came with complimentary access to the buffet.........used it once for breakfast and dinner......barely a step above Hometown Buffet.

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After meeting with my realtor yesterday, I soon found myself in front of a computer on a perfectly good Saturday night. Felt like I had to get out of the house. Was chatting with my friend who was in a similar predicament. Tried to figure out what to do. Neither of us felt like watching a movie. Neither of us wanted to go out drinking. Then she threw out "Want to watch the symphony?"

Seemed an interesting idea as I had never seen a live orchestra perform before. We decided to go at like 7:15 and the show started at 8 downtown. So we frantically got dressed up and I only caught a small synopsis about the show......it just mentioned it was somehow related to the Academy Awards. So I was a bit skeptical....

....but it ended up being pretty fun. The conductor, Bill Conti, had composed some famous movie scores, namely "Gonna Fly Now" aka the Rocky theme song. They also did a couple medleys of other movie tunes like Love Story, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Chariots of Fire.......and even "Take My Breath Away" from Top Gun.

Read up on Conti when I got home and he curiously wrote the scores for Rocky, Rocky II, Rocky III, Rocky V, and Rocky Balboa. I like to think he objected to Ivan Drago losing as to why he wasn't involved with Rocky IV. Before playing "Gonna Fly Now" he had his grandchildren come onto stay just to tell the crowd "I hope the royalties from this song can pay for their college tuitions."

Also read that he composed the original American Gladiators theme song. If the orchestra had busted that one out, I would have marked out and given a standing ovation........that or look around for a tennis ball gun to shoot the first chair violinist.

The annual Vegas hockey trip came and went. The scheduling was a bit of a bummer heading into it. The previous three years, we were done by Saturday night. But this year, the playoffs started as early as 7am on Sunday morning.

Got into town on Thursday night after having booked it months ago when Southwest had a "$25, zomg we need capital" sale. Ended up booking at the Flamingo somewhat last minute. My other gal friend had been on the fence about going but ended up declining. Else I would have sprung for a classier establishment.

It took a good 20 minutes to check in, then I discovered the plunger on my sink was broken in the closed position....not until after I went to wash my hands. By the time I got settled to meet up with the other guys, it was already midnight.

Drank with the gang for a little bit. Nothing too notable outside of Geoff getting rugburn on his face after being tackled by Alan. We dispersed a little while later, although not before we crammed into an elevator and a spontaneous "U-S-A" chant rang out to annoy the Canadians in the group.

Since I hadn't eaten dinner to that point, I was debating between gambling or getting a bite to eat. Did a quick scan of the blackjack tables but only saw open seats at $25 min tables or deal with cigarette smokers at cheaper ones.

Cute girl sat down at a $25 table and a group of guys nearly filled up the empty seats like they were playing musical chairs. The girl proceeded to misplay a couple hands and everybody lost money. If I didn't know any better, I would have guessed she was a plant by the hotel to draw action.

Decided to walk back up to the Venetian and have the chicken and waffles. Wasn't nearly as good the second time around. Although I was in one of those "starve yourself but not really wanting to eat" moods.

Stopped by the Venetian poker room only to see that there was a substantial wait for all the $4/8 limit and $1/$2 no limit games. By then it was like 3, so I decided to sleep rather than wait for an open seat.

On the walk back, a guy tried to run a red light as I was in the crosswalk. He slammed on the brakes and stopped a few feet away from making me roadkill. I was mostly sleepwalking, so I didn't really react all that much (although I probably made a stupid face a la Snatch).

The group walking behind me were infinitely more freaked out. One girl asked if I was okay. I jokingly told her that wasn't the closest I've felt like I've come to death in Vegas and how I come here too often. She then asked for a recommendation for her group for an open place to eat. Mentioned the 24 hour cafe at The Mirage (aka "best toast ever" -- Trav) which ended up being the winner for them.

---------------------

Buddy told a great story on the topic of sharing a room with somebody you know but don't know well. Awhile back, he had been assigned to share a room on a business trip with a coworker. Nobody knew the guy all that well, except that he had long hair and was a musician on the weekends.

So they check into the room and the guy goes into the bathroom. He proceeds to walk out carrying a tray with lines of white powder. Says something along the lines of "You ready to party?" with a straight face before revealing it's just Sweet & Low.

---------------------

Slept in the Friday morning and didn't do much other than get a massage before our 5pm game. Great massage as well, got four cracks out of my upper back and I think the previous high was three.

Did a quick run at the market for water/Gatorades and it was game time. Ended up playing a team from Atlanta, although I did recognize some LA guys who helped fill in their roster. Managed to get a goal when Francois fired a wrister from the point which hit the outside of the net and settled on the bottom of the net.

A small cheer started from our bench thinking the initial shot had gone in, which might have caused the opposing players to stop. I had a couple seconds to get the ball off the net and stickhandle at least twice before roofing it into a mostly empty net.

The other team scored to tie it, but EK buried one soon after. The other Jeremy C got us a needed insurance goal as the other team scored with ~20 seconds left.

In years past, we made the nearby Japanese restaurant the meal after the Rec division had ended. But this year due to the scheduling, it made more sense to eat there on Friday night. Solid meal as always, and there was unintentional comedy when one guy inadvertantly ordered live prawny looking things. A bunch of guys freaked out when it walked off the plate.

The restaurant also did a neat little trick for us when we ordered a bunch of soju-bombs. The chef heatbutted the table which caused the shots to drop into the beer glasses like dominoes. I would have had video, but apparently I did not press the record button. Balls.

Regrettably, didn't do much after dinner knowing I had to get up early for a 9am game.

---------------------

There was a guy on one of the Canadian teams who had a strange appearance.....like, something was just off. He was a bit of a goofy looking guy, but that wasn't it. There was a certain quality that put him over the top and Bob finally figured it out: The guy was like 6'1 but had like size 7 feet.

---------------------

Unfortunately the next team was much better than the first. After easily winning all the loose balls against Atlanta, we were on the short end against a team from LA who beat us 3-0. Although one guy scored all their goals and his playing style looked oddly familiar. One of my teammates then noted "Isn't that the guy from the Barrie [Canada] team that beat us last year?"

Surely enough, after the game, the tournament organizer apologized saying that he needed extra bodies to fill in the rosters and he didn't realize how good that guy was. I figured it was no big deal since we won a Rec title in '07 with Alan and Bob, and we currently had EK who could easily play in the higher division.

Stepped foot inside the Imperial Palace for the first time as a handful of us watched the Saints/Cardinals playoff game. It was a bit odd to watch a playoff game inside a sportsbook since the majority of the people didn't have a rooting interest in a particular team per se, but a high interest in the bets in play. Namely, most people had the over (set at 57 points). The loudest cheer in the place occurred when Reggie Bush returned a punt to make it 45-14. A respectable "O-VER, O-VER" chant started as well.

Went to Carnevino at the Palazzo for Dorothy's birthday dinner. While at the sportsbook, I ordered a pizza despite knowing dinner was planned a couple hours later. I still ate half of it and brought the other half back with me to my room. En route, some random guy points to the pizza box and says "I LOVE PIZZA!" I offered him up a slice and he gladly took one, as did his friend. Next thing I know, their girlfriend is taking a picture of us. Somewhere on the internets, there's a picture with a caption "And then some Asian guy gave us free pizza in front of O'Shea's!"

At Carnevino, we ended up doing the prix fixe menu and everybody except Geoff got the filet. The salad was mediocre; Had a bite of Chris' carpaccio which would have been the way to go in this Choose Your Own Adventure. The meat was great, better than the one I had at BOA, but only came with 8 ounces. Dessert gelato/sorbet was also tasty.

By then, we had learned that we had earned the dreaded 7am Sunday time slot for our playoff game. So after dinner, I wandered around for a couple hours debating if I wanted to play poker. Carpe diem.....maybe tomorrow, ended up in bed at 1am.

---------------------

One friend of mine got in a cab to get back to his room, knowing he only had $17 on him. He nervously watched as the meter quickly escalated yet they were still a few blocks away. He abruptly tells the cabbie to stop when the fare was at $15, gives him the $17, and gets out to walk the rest of the way. The Middle Eastern driver proceeds to speed away while yelling "FUCKKKKKK YOU!"

---------------------

Despite getting up at 5:30, I still managed to barely make the 7am game on time. As I was tying my shoes, Julie scored a goal to make it 1-0. And then things went precipitously downhill after that.

Our local ball hockey league is designed to be friendly, so there's not a whole lot of physical play. So that almost becomes a detriment at the tournaments when things get a bit rougher. Both teams ended up taking some silly penalties. Unfortunately we didn't really practice PP/PK situations. Yielded one PP goal and didn't generate a bunch on ours--albeit my fault for not having set PP units. Before you knew it, we had given up four unanswered goals and barely taken any more shots on a shaky opposing goalie.

What also made me mad was overhearing comments from a team playing in the next game. "Man, these guys have no hockey talent." Thankfully the other SD Rec team dispatched them and knocked them out of the tournament.

Had a couple hours to kill before watching the next game, so we dropped by a nearby Mexican restaurant in the hopes of catching the Vikings/Cowboys. They had fútbol on both TVs, just not fútbol Americano.

Being that I had managed not to gamble a single cent on the trip, I bet a $1 with EK on the random Mexican soccer game. Stupid, Atlante always lets me down. Pumas U.N.M.A won 2-0. Was browsing through Marshall's after I got back and found a Pumas jersey for $15.

Watched the rec team play in the semifinals, with the full intention of watching the Chargers game after that, and then rush to the airport.

Unfortunately Geoff threw out his shoulder while making a lunging save. He tried to continue and made a similar save soon after. This time his shoulder was completely out of the socket.

Since the game was in overtime, we quickly took the goalie equipment off of Geoff so that Josh (happily videotaping the tournament for his wife) could suit up as his replacement. Drove Geoff to the hospital.....and now I know where the nearest emergency room to the Strip is, for future reference.

Thankfully it's been awhile since I was in an ER, so my memory had time to forget/block out how awful a place it can be. Back in 2004, I had to go to a handful of hospitals in Indiana for work. One night, we were at one pretty late doing upgrades and we had pizza delivered. There were like 20+ people, so we took a dinner break and everybody was relaxing and hamming it up.

Unfortunately we were near the waiting room and this family just learned that a young son passed away. So the family was there grieving, meanwhile there was a party-like atmosphere around the food. A nurse came running over and angrily told everybody to shut up.

Dropped Geoff and EK off at the entrance and went to go park the car. Took a good 15 minutes to locate them, but EK told me the Chargers game was on in the waiting room. Finally found him and sat down right after the opening kickoff.

Soon after, this family of 10 learned that their son died and emotionally broke down right in front of us. Sports has a nice effect of distracting us from reality, but at that point I felt really bad for the family. We moved to a different waiting room to give the family room to grieve. But by then, cheering on a first down reception seemed pretty hollow.

Geoff was discharged a couple hours later and we went back to the Strip for the second half. It was probably a combination of the Chargers' poor play and my nerves still being frayed from the waiting room, but I couldn't quite get into the game as I normally would. And to put it shortly, I strongly disagreed with the onside kick despite Scifres executing it as well as you could hope.

---------------------

After we got back, EK and I both noted this woman who walked into the ER with presumably her six year old daughter. The woman was dressed like a prostitute....and so was the young girl. Although we gave her the benefit of the doubt and figured it might not be her daughter but instead an apprentice.

---------------------

By March 3rd, I would like:

1. A House
2. ~~Scott Niedermayer~~ A Girlfriend
3. Scott Niedermayer
4. Pavel Kubina
5. Eric Belanger
6. Lubomir Visovsky
7. Kim Johnsson
8. Sheldon Souray
9. Saku Koivu
10. Matt Cullen
.
.
.
.
.
9,999,999,999,999,998. Herpes
9,999,999,999,999,999. Andrew Peters playing in any more games for the Devils.

2009-11-30T23:52:00.001-08:00

"If there's one lesson that life has taught me, repeatedly, it's to know when I'm beaten." -- Seymour Skinner

==================================

Congrats to Amelia for getting out on parole. Wait, no, congrats on getting married.

Don't have too many out of the ordinary stories despite knowing her since 7th grade. When we were in Econ in 12th grade, I had the seat behind her. I forget why, other than being an attention whore, but I brought this giraffe hand puppet to school with the sole purpose of harrassing people in class. So there's studious Amelia, trying to jot down notes when out of the corner of her eye there's a giraffe hand puppet looking at her.

Anyways, the first and only time I had met her husband was winter break of freshman year. It was a bit of a showcase time for all of us as we weren't too far removed from high school, but it seemed like most people were showing off the significant others they met at college to the old friends. And 10+ years later, they had stayed together the entire time and gotten married, which I find genuinely awesome.

Tried to convey that thought on their wedding card. But alas, it appears as though I will marry twice for money, and maybe once for power.

==================================

Every year it seems like I tell myself I'm not going to waste money on a Halloween costume that I'll only wear once. And every year I ask myself something like "Why do I have this pair of unreturnable opera gloves and unopened can of red hair dye?"

Didn't really have any concrete plans this year. Had a couple friends who were doing Halloween in Vegas, so I was mildly tempted to go on short notice despite knowing that Vegas was a dud with regards to Halloween last year.

In terms of a costume, I had mentioned this to my cousin earlier in the month during my NY/NJ visit. I wanted to possibly pull off early 90s Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day. The outfit would be pretty easy to do, but I really wanted to make a replica of his guitar even though it'd be completely for my own amusement. Tried to find a cheap Fender/Fender clone--Armstrong's guitar (named Blue) is itself a Fernandes brand Fender clone--that I could attempt to paint.

Decided to check out eBay and immediately found a close to accurate replica. Personally would have liked it to actually use as well, but the bidding ended up over $200 and the reserve wasn't even met. Plus it was likely that I wouldn't have received it in time for Halloween regardless.

Ended up joining Travis and a group of his friends who were doing an Alice in Wonderland theme. Since I was late (for a very important date) to the group, all the main characters were snatched up. So I was another one of the Queen's playing cards/guards. I drove with Travis downtown, he was the 2 of diamonds and I was 2 of hearts. So we're walking side by side and we had a handful of people make "Hey look, it's pocket deuces" comments at our expense.

The night was mostly a blur, but as a group we finished 2nd in a costume contest at one of the bars.

In a "it's a small world" moment, after doing the obligatory Facebook adds on Monday, I started getting a bunch of email notifications from one girl commenting on all my hockey photos. Took me a second to put two and two together, but realized that the Cheshire Cat was the same random girl who showed up to Stout wearing a Sharks jersey.

==================================

Did an impromptu Staples Center doubleheader. Jeff had comp'd seats for Clippers/Grizzles and it took a few days before I realized that the Kings had a 1pm start on the same day. Figured if I was making the drive up, we ought to squeeze in both games.

After beating the Stanley Cup Champion Penguins two days before, the Kings laid an egg against the offensively challenged Predators. Also still annoyed of their selection of jersey shirts. Previously, they had a rack of shirts for healthy scratch Peter Harrold. They added a new rack recently for stay at home defenseman Rob Scuderi. Meanwhile, they still have nothing for the awesomeness that is Drew Doughty. Even comparatively speaking, they had Jack Johnson merchandise ready to go pretty quickly after his debut.

Wanted to pick up a Lakers related gag gift for my old roommate's birthday. If it's weren't $90, the Adam Morrison jersey would have been pretty sweet if only to hope that my buddy might end up on the pages of Straight Cash Homey in the future.

Also debated a Jordan Farmar jersey shirt....would have been an inside joke since our mutual friend used to tutor Farmar in high school. And he's a little bitter that Farmar is an NBA player now but sucks at Physics. Farmar changed jersey numbers this season, so the shirt (with #5) was already outdated.

Eventually settled on this goofy Andrew Bynum shirt which seemed funnier at the time. Shirt features a large image of Bynum's face which was oddly menacing. Perhaps should have gone with the equivalent Pau Gasol shirt instead.

The Clippers game was my first NBA experience. I was a little curious to see what kind of people are Clipper fans. Definitely seemed like a strange mix of fans and people with free tickets. We ended up in the third row next to the court. First impression was how much smaller the playing surface felt.......on TV you forget that they're playing on virtually the same dimensions that we did growing up on the playground.

Even back in the days of the Loy Vaught Clippers, they'd sell tickets by advertising the opposing team instead of the Clippers. In particular, it seemed like most of us were still curious to see Allen Iverson. But earlier in the day, he left the team for personal reasons.

Game itself was pretty good as the Clippers came from behind and held onto a 113-110 win. At the beginning of the decade, I was annoyed that most of my friends were back on the Lakers bandwagon. The cynical side of me was hoping for the day when the Clippers were the better franchise, just so I could watch those same people attempt to explain "No, no, I was really a Clippers fan all along."

Also annoyed to see after the game a Lakers fan actively taunting everybody. Not sure if it was the need for attention in the "If Poochie isn't around, everybody should be asking 'Where's Poochie'?" sort of way that did it. Not sure if it was the slightly askew hat that did it. But it just seemed like the equivalent of a trust fund kid going out of his way to go to a high school in an impoverished area to point out that his car was better.

Guy next to me also spotted former Kings' owner/ex-con Bruce McNall sitting in the first row. I was mildly tempted to go shake his hand since he was a driving force behind getting Wayne Gretzky to Los Angeles. No Wayne maybe means I never end up liking hockey and instead become that annoying Lakers fan.

==================================

Awhile ago, I had a long winded post about Eric Lindros' hockey career and how it seemed fitting that karma basically erased him from most fan's memories.

If somebody had asked me any time in the last ~5 years which player I hated and would never want to see in a Devils uniform, I probably would have said Dainius Zubrus (guh) or Nik Antropov. But after those two, I very well might have said Mike Van Ryn. Why Van Ryn?

The Devils drafted Van Ryn in the first round in 1998, one spot of fellow New Jersey first rounder Scott Gomez. Van Ryn had just completed a solid freshman season at the University of Michigan.

Before the lockout, there were some weird eligibility rules with drafting college players. In a nutshell, most NCAA players had to play their freshmen year prior to being drafted in order to retain their eligibility.

A side effect was that NCAA players were being drafted at age 19 unlike everybody else who was eligible at age 17/18.

Drafted NCAA players were also different (and still are to this day) in that NHL teams maintained their rights for up to 180 days after they graduated or left school. But in the case of a player drafted out of one of the three main Canadian junior leagues, an NHL team only holds their rights for two years. If the Canadian league prospect didn't sign, he would re-enter the draft unless he was over 21. In which case, he was an unrestricted free agent.

GM Lou Lamoriello, with a previous background in the NCAA, noted that they could watch Van Ryn gradually "grow" into an NHL caliber defenseman at Michigan. They could let him finish out his four years in the NCAA and let him develop in the minors after that. The Devils were the model franchise in the late 90s with not rushing young prospects.

At the time, the Devils were having good luck with Michigan prospects as well. The Devils had a young Brendan Morrison who had won the Hobey Baker Award at Michigan in 1997. They had also signed fellow Wolverine alumnus and future Selke winner John Madden. No doubt they were looking forward to see Van Ryn's progression under Coach Red Parker's tutelage.

Things were looking great, Van Ryn had another solid year at Michigan and captained Canada's World Junior team. By the time Scott Stevens was ready to retire, Van Ryn would be ready to hit his prime....

....but later in 1998, Bruins' draft pick Ben Clymer found a loophole in the system. Clymer was the 27th overall pick but in the 1997 Draft. Clymer had been playing at the University of Minnesota before quitting school and joining the WHL for the 1998-99 season.

At the end of that season, the NHL ruled that Clymer was to be treated as a player drafted out of Canada since that's where he finished the season. And as a result, the Bruins then had to sign him by June 1999 or else lose his rights.

....but since Clymer was drafted as a 19 year old in 1997, he was 21 in 1999 and thus eligible for unrestricted free agency if he didn't sign. So he had all the leverage as he demanded a higher entry level salary than the 27th overall pick had been getting. Boston balked at paying him top dollar which led to Clymer signing a free agent deal with Tampa.

So while this was happening in 1999, Van Ryn suddenly dropped out of Michigan and joined an OHL team for the 1999-2000 season. And naturally at the end of the year, he tried to exploit the same loophole although only after trying to get the team to promise he'd make the NHL immediately.

Lamoriello fought harder than Boston did with Clymer, but in the end Van Ryn was granted free agency. Later, the CBA was amended to include the "Van Ryn Rule" which patched up the loophole (but not before Mike "He's a dick" Comrie could use it against the Edmonton Oilers).

Draft picks refusing to play for a certain team isn't new. But guys like John Elway, Eric Lindros, Eli Manning, and Danny Ferry each refused to play for the team that drafted them because those teams were complete trainwrecks. Elway was drafted by the Baltimore Colts who were threatening to relocate. Lindros was drafted by the Nordiques who had similar issues. Eli was drafted by the then Chargers who had a lackluster roster and stadium issues. Ferry was drafted by the Clippers, who were....well, the Clippers.

In Van Ryn's case, the arbitrator made the ruling two weeks after the Devils won the Stanley Cup in 2000. So the fact that Van Ryn basically snubbed the reigning champions always bugged the hell out of me.

The Blues eventually signed Van Ryn to a three year deal for 1.025 mil per year with additional performance bonuses (compared to Scott Gomez who got ~650K/year on his entry contract with the Devils). In 2001-02, it appeared like Van Ryn had earned a permanent spot on St. Louis while appearing in 9 of their 10 playoff games.

In 2002-03, Van Ryn got off to a sluggish start and spent half of the year back in the minors. At the trade deadline, the Blues (who couldn't quite get over the hump in the playoffs) panicked and dealt Van Ryn to Florida for "Mr. Candace Cameron" Valeri Bure. Bure, an impending free agent, would play eleven combined regular season and playoff games for the Blues before resigning with the Panthers.

Also, later that playoff season, the Devils would win the Stanley Cup. Although it might be a bit of a stretch to assume Van Ryn would have been more than 3rd pairing/healthy scratch for New Jersey during that run.

The next five years of Van Ryn's career would be spent in the hockey purgatory that is Florida. Van Ryn put up decent numbers culminating in two straight 37 point campaigns, but it was like the tree falling in a forest with nobody around to see it.

Then in 2008, he was traded to the Maple Leafs. While the fans were more rabid, the team stunk worse than the Panthers as Van Ryn had an injury riddled year. His "highlight" was being on the receiving end of a glass shattering hit from Milan Lucic.

And in 2009, Van Ryn underwent what possibly will be career ending knee surgery.

=======================

Speaking of loopholes.....

When Dean Lombardi was GM of the Sharks, he used his best law talkin' guy skills to exploit a rule to artificially get extra draft choices. Prior to the lockout, it was commonplace to poorer teams to cry foul when they lost a top player to a big market club via free agency. The NHL tried to throw the small market teams a bone by giving them a compensatory draft choice for those players.

The one caveat was that if you signed a comparably paid player, you wouldn't receive a pick. Since he wasn't high on the crazy prices of free agents, Lombardi had a great idea: What if I traded for an impending free agent with the sole intention of "losing" the free agent to get the compensatory pick.

On 6/26/02, the Sharks traded for Theo Fleury from the Rangers for a swap of 6th round picks. The Rangers were a week away from spending almost 70 million on Bobby Holik and Darius Kasparaitis, so they stood to get nothing for losing Fleury.

Rangers' GM Glen Sather must not have realized Lombardi's true motive or else he could have gotten a better return. Back in 1998, Lombardi traded a 9th rounder to get the rights to Gary Suter who did sign with San Jose. Eventually the Sharks be awarded a high 3rd rounder in the 2003 Draft, which they would use to move up to draft ~~Zach Parise~~ ~~Ryan Getzlaf~~ ~~Mike Richards~~ ~~Ryan Kesler~~ Steve Bernier.

Only days after the Fleury trade, other GMs of small market clubs realized they ought to exploit the loophole as well.

On 6/29/02, Nashville gave a 5th round pick to Dallas for the rights to Ed Belfour--Dallas would spend 45 million on free agent winger Bill Guerin a couple days later. The Predators were awarded the 49th pick in the 2003 Draft, where they would select current franchise cornerstone Shea Weber.

On 6/30/02, the Flames would send a 3rd round pick to Toronto for Curtis Joseph. The Leafs would sign Belfour as CuJo's replacement. Meanwhile, the Flames would get the 47th pick in 2003 as compensation. Gotta love the market correction as Sather probably felt kinda dumb.

This would occur a few more times prior to the lockout before draft pick compensation was discontinued in the new CBA (This is why we can't have nice things).

=======================

Speaking of the draft.....

It appears that I finally lucked out and the 2010 NHL Draft will be hosted in Los Angeles this year. My buddy Eugene, season ticket holder, is already on board with getting us tickets. We both came to the agreement that both of us could legitimately sit through about three of the seven rounds (the first round is on a Friday, the rest is on Saturday).

Awhile ago, Jeff asked me how it was possible to track draft prospects since there's little mainstream exposure. To me, it's not entirely different than the NBA Draft nowadays. Most of the elite talent is filtered into a finite amount of teams/leagues, and for the most of us armchair GMs it is a lot of word of mouth.

Watching a couple weeks of Blake Griffin during March Madness isn't all that different from watching a couple weeks of John Tavares in the World Junior Championships. Obviously there's not a lot of ESPN/network coverage for junior hockey, but they love that stuff up in Canada.

NHL Central Scouting just released their preliminary rankings. It's kinda funny, I had lamented ahead of time that the Portland/Seattle game I saw last month featured two of the worst teams from 2008-09. But it turns out that Portland might have been one of the more interesting teams I could have caught as they had four of the top 13 players ranked in the WHL with Nino Niederreiter and Troy Rutkowski possibly being first rounders.

It's always a bit premature to talk about the draft in November, but generally every year the top of the pack is kinda known. This year's top 3 appears to be winger Taylor Hall, center Tyler Seguin, and defenseman Cam Fowler. Most people have Russian winger Kirill Kabanov at #4 but the dreaded Russian factor seems to weigh him down and will put whomever is selecting fourth in a potentially tough spot. On talent alone, Kabanov seems to be only a slight downgrade from the other three.

(Recently, 2008 #6 pick Nikita Filatov left Columbus to finish the year in Russia.)

Hall has been in the spotlight for the last couple of seasons. Most compare his playing style to that of Pavel Bure: blinding speed and great hands. Seguin is a bit of a newcomer as he came from nowhere to have a comparable scoring pace to Hall, despite having a vastly inferior supporting cast. Then there's Fowler who is the annual prospect to be labeled as "the next Scott Niedermayer."

So the draft lottery will be interesting this year as #4 seems to be the undesired spot. Usually the focus is on who wins and gets to pick #1, but an equally interesting but often overlooked story is the years when a team slated to pick second/third/etc gets bumped and subsequently donkey punched. For example:

2001: The Tampa Bay Lightning were coming off a miserable season and were in the #2 spot. The Thrashers won the lottery and jumped up to the #1 pick which was used on Ilya Kovalchuk. The Islanders got bumped down to #2 and traded it away to Ottawa who would select Jason Spezza. The Lightning then had to settle for the consolation prize of Alexander Svitov......fortunately for them, they spun Svitov a few years later for Darryl Sydor who was a solid cog in their Cup winning team.

2002: After winning the previous year, the Thrashers got hosed in '02. They were in a position to pick first and presumably get uber prospect Jay Bouwmeester. But division rival Florida won the lottery. Atlanta also passed on Rick Nash partially due to spending their previous two first rounders on Kovalchuk/Heatley. Instead they picked Kari Lehtonen who has had an injury riddled career.

(In hindsight, most people had Lehtonen #2 at the time. But it's still a pretty good lesson to not pigeonhole yourself into not taking a certain position just because you are currently well stocked.)

2004: The Blackhawks were in the #2 spot in the Ovechkin/Malkin draft, only to see Washington win the lottery. Most of the press was lamenting about how the poor Penguins had to settle for Malkin. Meanwhile the Blackhawks ended up with the good but hardly elite Cam Barker at #3.

2007: The pre-lottery order was Flyers-Coyotes-Kings-Capitals-Blackhawks. If the order has remained the same, it's likely that Patrick Kane would be a Flyer while James van Riemsdyk could be a King.

But alas the Draft Gods made up for 2004 and Chicago won the lottery to get Kane. This also bumped the Kings down to #4 in what most considered a year with a top tier of 3. LA ended up going off the board and selected defenseman Thomas Hickey, which nowadays isn't as ridiculed as it was at the time. But imagine the Kings, who have been having trouble finding a legit LW on their 2nd line, with van Riemsdyk (19 points in 21 games) instead of Teddy Purcell or Scott Parse.

2000: This might be the one case where the lottery winner ended up being detrimental to a franchise. The Islanders won and in the process jumped up from #5 to #1. So instead of drafting Raffi Torres or Scott Hartnell, they'd get their choice of Dany Heatley or Marian Gaborik.

Meanwhile, Rick DiPietro was a freshman at Boston University. He had a decision to make. The goalie class of 2000 was relatively poor and he'd be the first goalie taken. But if he opted in for 2000, he'd have to give up his college eligibility. If he waited until 2001, scouts had him third behind Pascal Leclaire and Dan Blackburn. DiPietro figured being a top 10 pick in 2000 was better than being a potential late first rounder in 2001.

Islanders GM Mike Milbury became overly enamored with DiPietro's puckhandling abilities. In his head, he was getting his own version of Martin Brodeur who was fresh off winning his second Cup.

So they picked DiPietro #1. In selecting DiPietro, the Islanders decided the crease wasn't big enough for him and their other 21 year old goalie prospect.....some guy named Roberto Luongo. Even though they had spent the 4th overall pick in 1997 on Luongo, GM Mike Milbury decided that he wasn't the goalie of their future despite having only played 24 games as an Islander. So they shipped Luongo (along with Olli Jokinen) to Florida.

=======================

My Christmas list is delightful small in comparison to last year. More money for tacos.

2009-10-11T22:36:00.000-07:00

I'm actually kinda horrified that I almost didn't take thiat trip.

It had been several years since my last prolonged vacation. Nowadays, the weekend excursions to Vegas don't seem to count. The '06 Hawaii trip didn't really feel like a vacation since I spent most of it with the family, ditto with the '05 trip to Bora Bora. It was a mildly sobering thought that this might have been the first trip that I planned that was solely for me.

Because of a couple logistical hiccups along with my conscience advising me to save the money for a rainy day, I had pretty much given up on the trip by Labor Day.

But then I had to move out, which proved to be an extremely painful exercise. For like ten straight days, I was completely stressed out/annoyed/murderous. So I figured I legitimately needed the vacation just to relax.

Plus the trip lined up so well. I compared it to the Voyager spacecraft. The planetary alignment that allowed Voyager to happen only occurs once every 176 years. When I was young and into the whole space thing, I was given an awesome coffee book about the Voyager program. [/nerd]

In terms of hockey games, I had it set:

9/19 - Portland @ Seattle WHL game
9/23 - Sharks @ Canucks
~~9/25 - Ducks @ Sharks~~
9/26 - Avalanche @ Kings in Vegas
10/3 - Flyers @ Devils season opener
10/5 - Rangers @ Devils
10/6 - Sharks @ Kings with private suite

I learned after the fact that there was a preseason game in Seattle (technically, a suburb called Everett) between Tampa and Phoenix on 9/22. While I really don't care about either team, part of me was disappointed in not going just to be a completist.

Originally had planned for 9/25 Ducks @ Sharks, but that ended up not working out as my friend took offense to watching a preseason game. I guess for her sake in being a Ducks' fan, she was right since Anaheim sent a B-team without Getzlaf/Selanne/Koivu/Niedermayer while also starting once highly touted Justin Pogge over Hiller/Giguere.

Meanwhile San Jose dressed their normal team and smoked them 6-0. Although I would have had loved to have seen Douglas Murray's 3 goal, 4 point, +5 performance in person. I mean seriously, look at Murray's career stats, is there a less likely veteran NHLer to get a hat trick?

I was also looking to squeeze in a Muse/U2 show. I was more interested in seeing Muse, but on the West Coast U2 shows, the Black Eyed Peas are the opening act. I couldn't make the New York dates work unfortunately. One of the NY shows had to be rescheduled because of Yom Kippur. The NFL had to reschedule a Jets game to a 1pm start instead of 5pm.

This caused a chain reaction since it takes 48 hours to dissemble the stage, so they had to change the concert from Thursday/Friday to Wednesday/Thursday. Can only imagine how many people chose the Friday show over Thursday thinking they could end their work week with an awesome concert only to see it moved to midweek.

I also noticed that the Devils travel down to Tampa on 10/8 while Muse/U2 play in Tampa on 10/9, while possibly ending it with Devils vs. Panthers on 10/10. But skipping out on my Dad's birthday seemed like an unreasonable thing to do. Would have seen a hell of a finish in the Tampa game however.

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The flight up to Seattle was pretty much directly after I finished moving out, so I left packing until the last minute. I was adequately prepared for rainy weather in Seattle and when I first got there, it was drizzling. But for the rest of the trip, it was like 80 and sunny as my numerous sweatshirts and jackets were laughing at me.

I showed up the same day that the University of Washington upset USC. When we stopped in Sacramento, there was one boisterous USC fan who told everybody in his vicinity that the Trojans were already up 7-0 early in the game. By the time we landed......the Huskies were in the midst of pulling off a huge upset. In hindsight, it might have been fun to have dropped by campus that day.

(On a related note: Oregon 42, Cal 3. Go UCSD Football!)

Met up with my friend Ching for a delicious Cuban pork shoulder sandwich for lunch. Then we picked up Aaron, one of my roommates a week earlier, who had just moved to Seattle for grad school at UW. Finally we fetched Katie who had also just recently moved up from SD and we all headed merrily to the Seattle Thunderbirds vs. Portland Winterhawks game.

The game was interesting since both teams play in a developmental league for high level teenage players. Seattle lost their best player (defenseman Thomas Hickey who will probably get some time with the LA Kings this year) and they were already kinda brutal to begin with. In particular, I wanted to see Seattle goalie Calvin Pickard who might be a 2010 first rounder. Unfortunately he had played the night before, so they played Flyers' prospect Jacob DeSerres instead--DeSerres was eerily similar to Dwayne Roloson.

The one prospect I wanted to catch on Portland was 16 year old, 2011 draft prospect Ty Rattie, but he had sustained a hand injury and would out for a few more weeks. The top prospect on the Winterhawks was 2009 Blues' 2nd rounder Brett Ponich. Tall and lanky defenseman with a good outlet pass, but will probably be a stay at home guy if he makes the NHL. Didn't find out until now that Portland also has Anze Kopitar's younger brother Gasper on the roster, but it doesn't appear he's played yet.

Still had plenty of fun despite knowing that there might only be two or three future NHLers playing. Random highlight was when the referee made a questionable penalty call against one of the Seattle players. The PA system starts blaring Kurt Angle's WWE theme music. I led the crowd with the requisite "YOU SUCK" chant. It was magical. I just wish more sports teams would add the music to their rotation.

(On a related note: The Padres resigned David Eckstein which guarentees at least a few hundred more at bats which he'll get to use the DX theme music.)

Also was amused to see that former Devil, Thunderbird alum, and Rob Sangha's buddy Turner Stevenson was one of Seattle's assistant coaches. Stevenson was part of the Devils' 2003 Championship as a 4th liner.

On paper he had a forgettable 14 game, 1 goal, 1 assist performance. But that assist in game 5 of the Cup Finals was huge in the C-C-C-Combo breaker sense. Ducks had just won two straight games scored on the first shift of game 5 while the Devils had been shutout in game 4. Easily lost in a 6-3 victory, but it definitely was a huge play.

I did the typical Seattle toruist stuff after that. Stopped by the Space Needle and the nearby Science Fiction Museum and Experience Music Project. Sadly the photo that has elicited the most response on Facebook has been my stop at Taco Time. Within the first hour of being in Seattle, I had been warned to not go to Taco Time. Obviously this only made me want to go. It wasn't so much disgusting but overpriced. And I'm not sure why tater tots were called Mexican fries.

Aaron also suggested stopping by Bruce Lee's grave which was nearby. We drove in and it didn't take too long to find it as Aaron spotted a group of Chinese people hovering over an area. Aaron had noted that in his brief time in Seattle, it was like a bizarro San Diego in that attractive white girls were with Asian guys. He further theorized that it wasn't a coincidence that Bruce Lee lived there while Paul Kariya's dad was from nearby Vancouver.

We also ended up dropping by a record store just because they had a Jimi Hendrix statue. I had always wanted to start a record collection and kinda went nuts after I found Green Day's first recordings there (although it apparently had been re-released rather than being the true originals). Walked out with $100 worth of records including "Thriller."

A little nuts since I don't currently own a device to, you know, actually play the records.

In particular I wanted to find Queen's Greatest Hits on vinyl since I lost my Dad's copy. Back in 12th grade, my journalism teacher had a record player in his room, so I brought a couple records (the other one being "Funkytown") in to listen while I was finishing layouts for the paper. Before I graduated, I forgot to take those back. So I wanted to give my Dad a copy for his birthday this weekend, just so I could have this exchange:

"I already have this."
"No, you don't."

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Next up on the trip was Vancouver, where I hoped to sample an exquisite array of Ketchup chips, poutine, and Taber corn. Failed in that pursuit, but did stop at a Tim Horton's.

For those who don't watch Canadian TV, Tim Horton's is basically like 7/11 if they made fresh food on the spot. And every combo comes with coffee and a donut. Always seemed like an odd combo if one were getting a turkey sandwich.

(The gag in Wayne's World is that the donut shop is named after Blackhawks Hall of Famer Stan Makita. Whereas Tim Horton was a famous Maple Leaf from Mike Myers' hometown of Toronto.)

The vibe at the Vancouver game was pretty cool. First, the place was pretty much sold out for a weekday preseason game whereas most American teams might be pushing 50% capacity. Secondly, lots of cute girls.......or in reality, kinda average girls but wearing hockey jerseys while also choosing to go to the game as opposed to just going because that's what their boyfriend wants to do. So yeah, pretty hot in my book.

Decided to buy a jersey shirt of Canuck forward and ball hockey superstar Alex Burrows as my token souvenir. The Sharks were up 2-0 on a lackluster Canuck squad which was predominantly prospects and minor leaguers. But Vancouver rattled off three straight goals and eventually won in shootout. A handful of nearby Canuck fans went to high five me and I couldn't help but reciprocate. Aaron looked like he was ready to kill me.

Did some sight seeing around town the next day. Unfortunately the Olympic Village was still under construction. But didn't have a ton of time since I was flying out and we had to worry about any unexpected issues at the border crossing.....

....naturally we got stopped and the border patrol agent asked us to park and enter the station for further questioning. While we were in the car, the agent asked us "Where are you guys from?" Aaron responded "I just moved to Seattle, he's from San Diego." Guy kinda shot a weird look that seemed to project "Why is the White guy doing all the talking?" I almost wanted to just blurt out "Hey, by the way, I speak English."

So we walk into the station and 90% of the people stopped were Asian. But surprisingly it was Aaron who had been flagged. Apparently his name is so common that it pops up fairly often. After ten minutes, they determined that Aaron W wasn't the same Aaron W who was doing some shady stuff in Florida.

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Despite not going to the Sharks game, I did decide to pitstop in San Jose for a couple nights prior to going to Vegas. Was supposed to cash in on a birthday dinner with my old lab partner, but he had to cancel to look after his baby. That seemed to be a common theme with this trip when I was debating this trip to my married friends......pretty much each person told me "Yes, take the trip. Do it while you're still a free man."

So I headed out to Vegas solo. Had a few awkward exchanges with SJ friends who immediately asked "Who are you going with?" when I mentioned I was going to Vegas after only staying in San Jose for 36 hours. Got of a mix of "Does not compute" and "What kind of person goes to Vegas alone" facial expressions combined with a half-hearted "Oh, that sounds like fun." But I said numerous times before the trip that there'd be like a 50/50 chance that somebody would be coincidentally in Vegas.

I admittedly shot myself in the foot with Vegas. I was supposed to go with one friend but things unraveled when she invited another friend who needed us to change the trip dates. Normally I would have been more easy going with it, but I had a taste of what Vegas was like with them last year........and I didn't want a potential repeat of being pushed out as a 3rd wheel.

On that same trip last year, my good buddy Sonny was also in Vegas with a lackluster group and also pretty much ended up in a similar predicament. We laughed and lamented later when we found out we could have salvaged that Saturday had we known the other person was in town.

Got to the hotel around 2pm that Saturday and checked into the Palazzo. I had requested the king bed suite but they only had the rooms with two queens available. As if my ego wasn't already slightly bruised by going solo, they had to inadventantly rub it in my face a little more.

This year there was an early start time at 6pm, so I had a quick bite to eat and got to the MGM early. It's an annual tradition for the Kings' diehards to form a gauntlet of sorts right before the entrance to the arena. This is to taunt anybody wearing Avalanche stuff and to a lesser degree anything non-King related. Dale noted that he wore a Czech national jersey a few years back which launched the mob into a "U-S-A" chant. Kings' color announcer Jim Fox was two feet in front of me when I first entered the area as well. Although I didn't bother to get a picture with him. So I guess that means I don't consider him as awesome as Rob Van Dam.

Game itself was pretty good, although it wasn't sold out like previous years. I thought I had pretty good seats since I was in row F of the upper deck. But the rows started with AA and went up to like KK before restarting at A. The Avalanche jumped to a 3-1 lead before the Kings tied it. Anze Kopitar would get the game winner on a 3rd period penalty shot while Wayne Simmonds added an empty netter for a 5-3 win.

Walked out of the arena debating what to do for the rest of my stay. Figured I'd go splurge on a nice meal then watch football most of Sunday and maybe catch "Love" at the Mirage. Then I got a new voicemail notification, something along the lines of:

"Hey Don, it's Sonny. Christie and I were driving out to Vegas today and saw a billboard ad for the Kings' game. Just giving you a call to see if you happened to be in town."

So we met up and I got to cash in on a belated birthday filet mignon. Went to the same steakhouse at the Green Valley Ranch from Sonny's bachelor party in July, but this time I didn't stuff myself with appetizers and was able to actually enjoy the steak. Could tell our waiter was a wee bit annoyed at us since we showed up at like 10:30 and the kitchen usually stops taking orders around 10:45.

Watched football with them the following day. Tried to get seated at the Palazzo's sportsbook/restaurant, but the place was packed for the 10am games. So we had lunch upstairs at Carnevino. Thankfully the Chargers/Dolphins game was the local Vegas game, so we were able to watch that while eating. Afterwards, we caught the 2nd half back in the sportsbook. Rested for awhile back in my room before finishing up with dinner buffet at the Wynn. Unlike my first time there, I wasn't asked to leave by the staff.

Went to the Venetian poker room after midnight and played 'til like 3am. Was playing 4-8 limit and cleaned out this foreign guy out of most of his $100 buy-in. He won his first two hands, but got quickly got the sense that he didn't know what he was doing. Took him down good with middle pair after he check/called me on the flop/turn and led out on the river after a King hit. Thought about it for awhile, made the call, and he showed ace high.

A cute gal sat down in seat #2 (I was in seat #4) and she was quite tipsy. She was from San Mateo and was in town for her sister's boyfriend's birthday. And she didn't like the guy. She was half-Irish, half-Colombian. She was pretty freeflowing with her life story as she kept ordering booze while trying to get the rest of the table to do a shot with her. When everybody folded to her, I joked that she could easily control the table. She responded with "Not with this outfit, well, maybe if I do this" as she unbuttoned her top slightly. She also offered to take me up to Tao.

But no, I decided to keep playing instead of running back upstairs and putting on clubbing attire. And then she took me down for a big hand.

I was in early position with Jh-10h. End up calling $8 preflop along with a majority of the table. Flop comes out: Js-8c-5h. I lead out with $4, most people come along. The turn is the 9h. I think I succumbed to fancy play syndrome as I plan to check/raise. But the entire table checks behind. Also, the girl in seat #2 mentions that the turn gave her outs. A good player would note these sort of things.

I hit my flush on the river. She leads out $8. I re-raise to $16 and everybody folds back to her. She raises it to $24 and tells me "Don't call. I have the nut flush." I'm laughing and hanging my head unable to let go of the hand. I figure $8 more to win a pot of $100+ is worth it despite the fact that I completely believed her. And she turns over nut flush but also gives the last $8 stack immediately to the dealer which I thought was a nice move. My session went downhill after that and I left without getting contact info.

Go me!

------------------------------

Work picked up recently, so I chose to go back for four days prior to the New Jersey/New York City leg of my trip. Was kinda weird to go on vacation, go back to office, and then resume my trip. Especially since I really haven't gotten settled in my new room yet.

But it was also kinda funny when I started having the usual "Man I wish I was still on vacation" thoughts while sitting at my desk....only this time I could conclude with "Oh wait, I am going back on vacation in a couple days."

Thanks to some Devils' fans I "know" from the Internets, I got a great hotel recommendation in Newark. Five minute walk to the arena, even less than that the train station. And I was only a 17 minute train ride from New York City.

I took the redeye out on Friday night which seemed like a bad idea after I booked it. I'd get to my hotel around 6am and I assumed I wouldn't be able to check until later in the afternoon. Thought I might be able to stay up and explore NYC prior to the Devils game, but by the time I landed I was fully prepared to pay for an extra night to get some sleep. Thankfully they let me check in early.

Woke up, explored the outside of the arena for a bit. Saw Devils' GM Lou Lamoriello talking with some suits while also spotting Grant Marshall before he was set to sign autographs. Was also looking to see if I could find the female equivalent of myself and I think the closest was this girl with a mohawk wearing a Zach Parise jersey.

A few hours earlier, I splurged and bought a Parise jersey at a fan shop next to the hotel. Talked with the store owner for a bit and mentioned that Parise had just been named alternate/assistant captain that morning. So I got them to "throw in" the "A" for the jersey for free.

Flyers trounced the Devils 5-2, which wasn't entirely unexpected although still utterly disappointing. Was a bit annoyed that the crowd gave Brodeur the Bronx cheer after making a save. Managed not to go nuts at the souvenir shop, thankfully because everything was ridiculously overpriced.

Hopped on a train and checked out New York City for a few hours. Didn't have too much time to walk around as the last train back to NJ was at like 1:50am. My hotel has this private ramp into the train station, but I unfortunately learned that is blocked off after midnight. So I had to walk around the train station to get back to the hotel. I was supposed to take a right turn but ended up going left.....which led me to a poorly lit street with a handful of bums.

(phone rings)
"Oh crap, I just realized you're on East Coast time." -- Kurt
"It's cool, I'm walking back to my hotel now."
"Try not to get mugged."
"That's actually of legitimate concern at the moment."

Sunday was my main day to explore NYC. Dropped by the NHL Store which was much smaller than expected. The selection was limited, as though they were trying to funnel people into paying $200 for a personalized replica jersey. Jumped on the subway to meet up with a couple friends in the Union Square area. I had a slight dilemma. It doesn't speak well of me that this was even up for debate.

While I was at the game on Saturday, I discovered the monthly WWE pay-per-view event was at the arena on the next evening. I checked if tickets were still available and I could still get a 9th row seat for a "reasonable" price. So I had to choose, dinner with a cute girl I hadn't seen in 8+ years or go watch sweaty men......

....so I met up with my friend for dinner at an Italian place. Food ended up only being so-so, but somehow added up to $100+ between the two of us. If I have one regret for the trip, it's that I didn't really eat well or eat stuff that was quintessential to NYC like having a slice of pizza.

Afterwards, I went to a sports bar to catch the end of Chargers/Steelers. During halftime, a small group of Asian folks walked in and sat near me. I asked one girl, wearing a Philip Rivers jersey, if she was from San Diego and it turned out that most of their group was actually UCSD alums. Eventually asked if they happened to be in this mostly Asian fraternity that a good chunk of my UCSD '06 buddies were from. Sure enough, after doing some name dropping, we knew some of the same people. My SD friend gave me a link to one of the guy's food blog which I'll probably have to read before the next NYC trip.

On Monday, my cousin took the day off to hang out and explore NYC with me. We dropped by the Financial District and had lunch with one of his college buddies. Took a quick walk past the New York Stock Exchange while also taking a look at Ground Zero. Took a cab ride and checked out the Ed Sullivan theater where they film David Letterman. Was hoping to score tickets, but the taping starts at 5pm which would have been tough since we already had tickets for the 7pm Devils game. Plus it was overflowing with people who wanted tickets. Letterman being back in the news probably didn't help.

Although I did get a photo with Rupert Jee who owns an adjacent deli to the theater and has/had a recurring spot on the show. Took a quick stroll through Central Park before taking the train back for the game.

Again, the Devils looked underwhelming but at least I had a novelty foam puck hat. After the game, I grabbed some food and the Versus announce crew (Ed Olczyk and Bob Harwood) along with some other production guys were having dinner. Chatted with them briefly and mentioned my hockey trip and how I'd be at Sharks/Kings the following night. Olczyk had an insightful comment of "Shit."

Got back to SD around 1pm on Tuesday and took off for LA around 2pm for the game. Thought it was a fitting way to end my trip, watching a game in a private box with 20+ friends.

Trip turned out great, and infinite thanks to everybody who helped me out along the way.

2009-08-18T22:35:00.000-07:00

Made it through summer wedding season unscathed. Thankfully there were only two this time around, but they were in back-to-back weekends which has kinda taken me a decent time to recover.

First wedding was for my "sister" Christie. I have known Christie since.....9th grade? Although since we were the only two Trans in junior high, we kinda knew of each other without formally meeting. My first recollection was when I switched around my schedule and ended up in her geometry class.

After each test, the teacher would write down everybody's name/grade on the chalkboard if they got an A. So everybody walks in after the first test that semester and there's a big old "TRAN 100" leading the way. Before class started, Christie, knowing I had joined the class, quietly asked the teacher if the test score was her's. The teacher shook her head no. I may have smirked and thought "That's right."

Christie would get the last laugh as she was our valedictorian thereby making me the dumb Tran by default. My memory is a bit obscured, but I feel like we were decent friends in high school but actually got to know each other better during college even though she went to Columbia.

In high school, we were friends but didn't really talk much outside of school. She was very homesick for the first two years and I was a hermit constantly on AIM, so we actually got to know each other more from that point.

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On a related note, in order to graduate from Columbia, you have to be able to swim three pool lengths. I remember Christie stressed about this, but it's not timed.

Also, another Columbia tidbit came up during a trivia game: What year did they start admitting women? Most of us were guessing 1920s, 1930s.

Nope, 1983.

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Fast forward a bit and she ended up at UCSD for grad school. It was a fortuitous coincident, but Christie asked if I knew anybody who needed a roommate and--seemingly less than a day after--my undergrad pal Lily asked if I knew anybody who needed a room. Lily would end up being one of the bride's maids. Oddly proud moment to see that happen.

Wedding itself was pretty solid. After being gloomy the day before, it was a typical sunny 75 degree San Diego afternoon when the ceremony was performed. With all of her siblings in the wedding party, nobody was left to walk her Mom down the aisle. So naturally I, being the unofficial family member, got that honor.

Afterwards, the bride and groom made the executive decision to drive down to Chula Vista for tacos at 2am......while still wearing their wedding garb. They had been pimping this place for months, but I was left rather unimpressed. Then again, I didn't try the cow tongue tacos.

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Took me a few days to get my bearings back, just in time to fly up north for another wedding. While the wedding was in San Francisco, I ended up staying in a hotel in San Jose since it was more central to the other folks I'd be visiting.

I got up there on Thursday night and the parking lot was curiously packed--I had stayed at the same hotel for the Weezer concert last year. I had reserved a room with a king bed, but instead they gave me the handicap room with a twin bed. Inauspicious start to say the least.

Since I'm highly xenophobic, I was a bit worried about driving into SF out of fear of getting ridiculously lost. But the bride called me the morning of and arranged for me to carpool with one of her high school friends.

I figured it'd be an awkward hour long ride, but lo and behold, homeboy has two hockey sticks in his backseat--Ultra-Lite and Cyclone for those keeping track at home--so that ended up being an easy icebreaker. Plus I have an easy "thanks for driving me" gift whenever I get my hands on another cheap stick.

This wedding was for my UCSD pal Ching. I really don't recall the first time I met her......possibly CSE105 before I dropped it (I thought it might be fun to try 20 units that quarter). But ended up being chummy for the last two years.

My one distinct memory--which actually popped up as I was writing their wedding card--was being in lab and being completely sick of listening to the CDs I had. So I borrowed one of Ching's which was entitled something like "For the Rocker chick in you."

She explained that her boyfriend had burned the CD right before he left for Cal and she left for UCSD. Since I had a failed long distance relationship under similar circumstances, I quietly rooted theirs on.

I don't remember what was on the CD, except for Eve6....and they suck. They suck so hard, I can still remember it almost ten years later.

....anyways, I was seated with a bunch of other CSE folks. Unfortunately I didn't care to remember their names, perhaps because they didn't suck as bad as Eve6. Always awkward to have the "Hey Don, good to see you again/Hey, I forgot your name" interaction.

Ceremony was quick and painless. Reception had a couple quirks to reflect the bride and groom. They had Street Fighter IV set up to play. Now I'm generally antisocial at these sort of things, but even I thought that was over the top. I also learned that the groom's brother is actually a famous gamer who has done quite well for himself.

They also had the most creative first dance that I've seen. I suppose YouTube has upped the ante with these type of things. Most of us were expecting the standard elegent ballroom dance music, but the bass line for "Boom Boom Pow" starts blaring on the speakers and they pulled off their rehearsed number.

Since I have an overactive imagination, I've had things in mind for my eventual wedding despite that nagging detail about finding a wife. I had one overelaborate thought recently that has a sliver of feasibility.

About a month ago, there was the longest total eclipse of this century but it was only visible in portion of Asia. So I started looking into upcoming eclipses and saw one that's coming on May 20, 2012 that can be seen in parts of the Western US.

So I started thinking.....outdoor Vegas wedding. That date is on a Sunday too. Then we could time the ceremony to coincide with the eclipse and in particular, the "diamond ring" effect which occurs when the sun and moon come slightly out of alignment.

Began to put way too much thought into it, to the point where I started wondering about lighting conditions for photos before I snapped out of the daydream.

Further thoughts served to be buzzkills as the 2012 eclipse is only an annular eclipse (the moon doesn't completely block out the sun) and the diamond ring effect wouldn't happen. And then according to this map, the eclipse is visible in all of Nevada except pretty much Vegas.

Plus I'm pretty sure I want to do some semblence of a traditional ceremony for my Dad's sake. Doing that would be pretty tough with a destination wedding.

....and I could see how the eclipse thing could be pretty cheesy. Almost sounds like a premise for a bad Heroes story arc where one of the wedding guests has some super power activated and accidentally kills my bride and I spend the next twenty episodes hunting him down.

Niece highly appreciated her birthday gift.

Her birthday party had a pixies and pirates theme. It was highly amusing when a boy tried to put on a set of pink wings and my niece came sprinting over to tell him he wasn't allowed to do so. Gender lines are enforced at an early age.

(After my niece left, he put them on anyways.)

On a similar note, I think I pinpointed the moment when I realized I was Asian.

Ron Howard's 1986 film "Gung Ho" which starred Michael Keaton and Gedde Watanabe. The plot revolves around a Japanese automaker reviving a manufacturing plant in Pennsylvania. Watanabe plays a disgraced executive in charge of overseeing the operation and Keaton is the liason to the workers.

Hilarity ensues with the culture clash between the Americans and their Japanese overlords. One scene in particular involves a softball game between the workers and the executives. The Japanese frustrate the Americans by playing smallball. But the workers stage a comeback to the tie the game with George Wendt's character as the winning run on second/third.

Keaton gets a base hit and there's a play at the plate. Wendt proceeds to barrel over the prone catcher and I begin a lifetime of subconscious disdain for fat white guys.

Dropped by the World Series of Poker (Day 4) on Saturday. Walked through the labryinth that is the Rio Convention Center. Within ten seconds of getting in the general vicinity, Chris "Jesus" Ferguson (Poker Pro with the highest level of ballroom dance ability) is suddenly walking right in front of me. Unfortunately I had checked out the event solo, so I only got a picture of him instead of with him. He looked kinda grumpy; I'd learn later that he dropped like 95% of his stack right about 15 minutes before I got there.

Watching poker is fairly boring to begin with, plus all but two tables were obstensibly cordoned away from the viewing public. ESPN had two featured tables: One with popular pro Phil Ivey and another with two former champions in Joe Hachem and Peter Eastgate.

While I understand why'd they do this, watching the execution was just awful.......after your table finished a hand, you couldn't move onto the next hand until every other table had finished their hand. Since they were "three from the bubble" (the next three players eliminated would receive no prize money), some of the hands were taking forever as certain people were deliberating going all-in. There was enough time for Eastgate to walk around and take photos/give autographs while waiting for his table to deal the next hand.

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Some of the guys had a 6am tee time earlier in the morning, so they were falling asleep at the dinner table. There was some urgency to go clubbing, gambling, etc, but you could tell everybody was about to crash. Got back to the hotel at around 1am and predictably everybody was pretty much out.

One guy, Mark, was asking me about going to go play poker. He was a bit nervous about it since he'd never played in a casino before and only wanted to buy in for like $40. Figured the $2-$4 limit game at TI would be right up his alley.

We walk in and I immediately hear "DON?" Just happens to be Bill, a poker buddy who now lives in LA. Since I'm a jerk, instead of saying "Hey Bill, what are you doing here?", I instead immediately remind him "Dude, you owe me money."

Eventually we all end up at the same table. Mark is having fun after winning a handful of pots. Eventually this drunk, angry guy sits down across from us. He's on the phone, slurring "I'm playing poker, I'll call you later" multiple times. I find A-Q in late position and he calls with A-5. Flop comes A-Q-Q. Ding ding ding. I take him for a fairly sizeable pot for that game.

He later muses "fucking faggots at my table" several times. The dealer and room manager ask him not to curse at the table. He responds with "What the fuck? I'm not fucking cursing......stop listening to me." This continues for the next few hands as we're waiting for security to show up.

Mark beats Bill in a small pot, and Bill jokingly says "asshole" to Mark. The angry drunk guy thinks Bill is talking to him and goes into a tirade. "Asshole, fuck you, you're the asshole. That guy just called me an asshole. I'll fuck you up. Let's go outside and finish this." Bill being Bill, starts to egg on the guy.

The drunk guy later folds a hand face up with multiple people still in the pot. The dealer asks him to not do that. He curses at the dealer saying he's allowed to do so. Dealer looks at the manager and shoot the "Please, get this guy off the table" glare.

One of the next hand ends up being fairly big as Mark and an Indian guy are firing out reraises at each other on a board of like J-9-9-K-3. Most of our attention is on the drunk guy as the manager is finally forcibly urging him to leave. Meanwhile I'm debating "if he really did take a swing at Bill, would I have to back him up?"

(Answer: Yes, plus it'd be loads of awesome to be banned from a Vegas casino)

Being that this was his first time really playing live, Mark didn't know some of poker etiquette (ie, folding in turn). So on this hand, the Indian guy eventually shows A-9. Mark declares "You got me, I got nothing" as he flips over his cards into the middle of the table. Out of the corner of my eye, I see pocket Kings which would have given him a winning full house. But being that it was 3am and I was preoccupied with which submission move I would potentially slap on the drunk guy, I thought it must have been K-Q.

The dealer, also preoccupied, assumes the Indian guy won and starts pushing the chips the wrong way. Mark is sitting there confused and then Bill asks "Wait, you had Kings right?" Then they start a commotion about the hand as the dealer had already begun to shuffle the cards.

So they have to figure out what to do. Bill implores that they go to the tapes to no avail. The Indian guy had already began to stack some of the pot and offered to ship back everything that he hadn't stacked. At this point the dealer/manager are both flustered after finally getting rid of the drunk guy.

Eventually Mark agrees, probably cost himself $20 in the process.....which I actually thought was a fair penalty/lesson on what not to do, even if that's how they do every climatic poker scene on TV.

-----------------

Some bad information from coworkers regarding our company's vacation policy along with JetBlue's "All You Can Fly" for $599 promotion prompted me to hastily map out a 2-3 week trip.

Unfortunately I'd soon learn that JetBlue isn't that great coming out of San Diego. There are no flights to Seattle and going to San Jose or Vegas would require a layover in Long Beach. So booking a hybrid of Southwest, JetBlue, etc would be slightly more than $599 but the extra bucks would be worth the direct flights.

As much as I like to think my life doesn't revolve around hockey, I would be potentially watching a ton of hockey on this trip. As I have things planned right now.....

First stop would be flying up to Seattle on September 18th. My roommate Aaron is moving up there after Labor Day to begin his PhD at the University of Washington. So I could crash with him or Ching.

On the 19th, I'd be aiming to catch a WHL game between the Seattle Thunderbirds and Portland Winterhawks. The WHL is a junior hockey league (ages 16-21) that is one of the top producers of eventual NHL players in the world. Most notable Thunderbird alumnus is Patrick Marleau. Unfortunately, both Seattle and Portland are on the bottom rung of the league, so there may only be 2 or 3 future NHLers in the bunch.

The Mariners also host the Yankees on that Sunday, so I could possibly check out Safeco Field as well.

I spotted that the Sharks were playing a preseason game in Vancouver on the 23rd. So I half-heartedly suggested to Aaron that we could do the 2+ hour drive to Vancouver and catch the game. But since the game was on a weekday, I figured he'd be busy with school. But nope, classes begin on the 30th. Vancouver sounds like a fun tourist spot normally, but I imagine it's been spruced up a bit with the Olympics six months away.

On the 25th, I'd fly down to San Jose and cram a couple nights there with friends. The Ducks also play the Sharks as I already have some folks interested in doing that game.....The next day I'd fly to Vegas for Frozen Fury XII between the Kings and Avalanche.

Then the trip kinda gets convoluted after that. Had it in my head to check out New York City and then catch the Devils' season opener against the Flyers in Newark on 10/3. And then after that possibly end up in Boston for a few days. But my cousin in New York might not be around and my accountants are budget conscious about a week+ of hotels in NYC/Bos.

What would Dusty do....

2009-07-04T01:20:00.000-07:00

"Tonight, the city weeps, as for the first time ever, a hockey arena becomes then scene of violence." -- Kent Brockman

Now I can say I have been able to say I participated in a hockey game which ended after a spectator came onto the ice and fought somebody. Long live low level recreational adult ice hockey.

--------------

I gave up what little dignity I had and unsuccessfully tried to do Garth's rendition of "Foxy Lady" for a friend's karaoke bday party.

Although the dignity meter was probably running pretty low after I was one of the few showed up properly dressed for the 1920s gangsters theme. And I learned that fedoras make my face look like a goomba from Mario Bros.

My first gig as a professional photographer went pretty well. I felt inadequate about my stubby stock lens, so I went out and got a more physically imposing one.

The event was a $1000/plate award ceremony for "Entrepreneur of the Year" for local businesses. Probably was setting myself for disappointment as I figured the winners would be accomplishing feats just short of curing cancer. One of winners basically ran the Central American version of Costco with carbon copy warehouse and website. I'm sure he worked really hard to make it profitable, but in general it struck me as not particularly innovative to take an already successful business model overseas. But I guess I'm mixing up entrepreneur vs. inventor.

I worked the event for free, but was bribed with dinner and a penthouse suite at the hotel. Although it was a bit weird staying there on a weekday as I had to frantically get ready for work the next day.

Steve Scott hosted the annual MDA fundraiser last weekend. At the end, there's a sports memorabilia auction; Last year I got a Marty Brodeur autographed 8x10 for $40. This year Steve decided to play an inside joke by auctioning off a hockey stick autographed by one of our hockey buddies.

Since the money was going to charity, a bunch of us pooled together $200 to buy it. But we wanted to go through with the farce of bidding in small increments.

Not sure if it comes across well in the video, but there was a palpable "WHO?" murmur from the other people not in on the joke. Afterwards a couple people told us they were quickly trying to Google the name to see why the bidding was so furious. It was highly amusing when some random guy popped in at like $125.

There was a Marty Brodeur autographed puck as well. I probably would have gotten it pretty cheap but my wonderful friends decided to bid me up. In a parallel universe I wouldn't have outbid them, but in the end I donated $110.

"Selma, my dear: your lock of MacGyver's hair." -- Malloy
"Thank you. I'll add it to the ball." -- Selma

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The previous night, we were downtown for a Padres/A's game and stopped by a bar for a few drinks. Kurt and Aaron start whispering something amongst themselves and then ask "Is that [San Jose Sharks winger] Jonathan Cheechoo?" To which I responded "Yeah, that does look like him, but I thought he'd be fatter."

They were a bit hesitant to approach the guy without total confirmation. But since he was like ten feet away, they would probably do it after a few more beers. I noticed a tattoo on his right arm and suggested that Kurt search for like "Cheechoo tattoo" on his Blackberry. Sure enough, he found a YouTube video with various San Jose players, including Cheechoo, proudly showing off their tattoos. Huzzah to the internets.

Ended up talking to him for a couple minutes; One of his buddies told us that it was Cheechoo's bachelor party. Kurt made a quip about "Why aren't you in Vegas?" At first I thought Kurt was asking why Cheechoo wasn't in Vegas for the NHL Award show, ie in the "You won the Rocket Richard once, why aren't you still scoring like that?" way as opposed to "Why aren't you in Vegas for your bachelor party?"

I had a wonderfully long and pointless writeup which was to serve as a preview for the NHL Draft. But alas, my bout with ~~mono~~ general laziness caused me not to post it before the draft occurred last Friday.

Part of the post also gave quick explanations as to how junior hockey is organized and where most prospects come from. But I figured that sort of post would have entertained nobody, so instead, here comes what I'm sure will be a very rambly Draft Day Diary which will mostly likely still entertain nobody.....

4:00pm: Thanks to work making us take mandatory days off, I'm able to watch the draft live this year. In 2007, they changed the draft from Saturday to Friday. In 2006, they changed it from a "traditional" 9am PST start to 1pm which I had to miss due to Steve's fundraiser. In 2005, the draft wasn't available on television for anybody without DirecTV. So this was the first draft I could completely enjoy spoiler-free in five years.

I guess I still have great connotations with the NHL Draft since back in the day, it would usually be the week after school ended. So the draft was a sign that summer was in full swing.

4:01pm: Watching on Versus which is carrying the TSN feed in HD for the first time. Now I can be fully depressed to see how young these 1990/91 born draftees are.

Just wanted to note that I'm watching this while largely ignoring an attractive gal friend who dropped by.

4:02pm: If you're still reading this, there's a high probability you're a Sharks fan. So it's worth mentioning that the Sharks were the only team to start the day without a first round draft choice.

This is unlike recent years when teams freely traded first rounders to rent the likes of Brendan Witt, Ladislav Nagy, and Dainius Zubrus. So it's a sign that it's a good draft year as well.

San Jose did own a pair of second round picks which they used on stay at home defensemen William Wrenn and Taylor Doherty. Wrenn did display some offensive ability as he captained the US team to Gold at the under-18 tournament in May. He scored three power play goals in seven games and he'll be headed to the University of Denver this fall. Doherty is a 6'7 monster who has decent mobility but won't be a big point producer.

4:03pm: Standard promo showcasing the consensus top 3 players: John Tavares, Victor Hedman, and Matt Duchene. For the first time in ages, nobody is quite sure who's going #1. Tavares is #1 on most scouts' lists while some analysts were hearing that Hedman was the Islanders' man. But as of a couple hours ago, everybody is reporting that Matt Duchene is in fact going first.

At this point, my biggest man crush for the Devils is defenseman Calvin de Haan who is projected in the 20-30 range, perfect for New Jersey selecting at 23. *knock on wood*

4:04 - Out of the blue, it's announced that the Ducks have traded Chris Pronger to the Flyers. Ducks' fans can dust off their Joffrey Lupul jerseys again. I find it distressing that Anaheim got back essentially the exact same package (for a 34 year old Pronger with one year remaining on his contract) that they gave up (for a 31 year old Pronger with four years left). Buy low, sell high.

4:14 - Gary Bettman makes his opening speech with requisite disdain from the Montreal crowd. This also starts the night long trend of teams making announcements in English and then in French.

4:18 - The Islanders end up taking Tavares to the delight of their fanbase. Tavares missed being eligible for last year's draft by a mere five days. After being endlessly scrutinzed the previous four years, most figure Tavares won't be another Crosby/Ovechkin generational type of player but more in the Heatley/Lecavalier "still pretty damn good" mold.

I would have gone Hedman here, but Tavares is more naturally marketable as a goal scoring forward. The Islanders are trying to drum up support to build a new arena and Tavares provides a new face of the franchise.

The appearance of Islanders owner Charles Wang and his obese grandson is quickly becoming an annual highlight of the draft..

4:26 - Tampa GM Richard Grieco...oh wait, that's Brian Lawton makes a sensible selection of Hedman at #2. Hedman can be described as Nicklas Lidstrom trapped in Chris Pronger's body. Pretty nice addition to go along with last year's #1 overall pick Steven Stamkos and those Lecavalier/St. Louis guys.

4:38 - Lag, lag, lag. Unlike the NFL/NBA/MLB drafts, it's almost as though teams make their selections based around commercial breaks and pre-planned interview segments. Because realistically, Colorado needed about 28 nanoseconds to draft Matt Duchene.

Duchene grew up collecting Avalanche memorabilia, so he was pretty happy when Tampa bypassed him at #2; They showed a splitscreen of Hedman and Duchene as Tampa's pick was being announced and Duchene can be seen saying "YES!" while doing a little fistpump.

4:45 - The Thrashers take power forward Evander Kane at #4. Just to make you feel old, he's named after boxer Evander Holyfield.

4:55 - The Kings are up next and take Brayden Schenn to the dismay of Toronto GM Brian Burke. After having the Sedins in Vancouver and the Niedermayers in Anaheim, it only seemed fitting that Burke would try to get this pick to reunite Brayden with brother Luke in Toronto.

The production crew also finds it fitting to cut to a visibly annoyed Burke. In the last game of the season, the Leafs scored three third period goals to defeat Ottawa 5-2. That game bumped them down from #5 to #7.

As for the Kings, Schenn is an awesome fit as he projects to be a #2 center along the lines of Rod Brind'Amour, Mike Richards, or pre-knee injury Mike Ricci. Although it's quite noticeable that Schenn looked kinda bummed as he was putting on the jersey.

LA also added Ryan Smyth after the draft as LA looks poised to make the playoffs for the first time in ages.

5:02 - It's Phoenix's turn as Wayne Gretzky is conspicuously absent. But his brother Keith is there to announce Swedish defenseman Oliver Ekman-Larsson as their pick. Slick skating defenseman with good passing skills who should be a nice fit after the Coyotes have been forward heavy in recent drafts.

Camera pans to the Columbus draft table as they have consumated a swap of picks with the Islanders. Can't help but notice that in the pile of provided snacks is a bag of Lay's Ketchup flavored chips. You freaky Canadians.

5:05 - Cute girl leaves. Eventually is replaced by my roommate Aaron.

5:10 - In the first surprise of the draft, the Leafs take Nazem Kadri, a smallish center along the lines of Mike Ribeiro and Scott Gomez. Surprising in that he doesn't seem to be the normal Brian Burke "belligerent and truculent" blueprint.

Afterwards, Burke awkwardly tells the TSN reporter that Kadri was the guy they wanted all along. It's about as convincing as O.J. promising to find the real killers.

5:18 - After Burke is afforded his obligatory airtime, the Stars go off the board a little bit and take forward Scott Glennie. Strikes me as a Joffrey Lupul-esque complementary forward. Will be seen if they'll regret passing up Swedish winger Magnus Paarjarvi-Svensson; Dallas might have bypassed him since they're drowning in left handed left wingers.

On a side note, I can't help but notice that Glennie's jersey doesn't have his name on it. Normally teams, especially those picking in the top 10, have a prepared jersey for their player.....or at least have a detactable nameplate.

5:25 - TSN interviews prospect Ryan Ellis, which might as well be a 30 second spot for Clearisil. Have I mentioned that most of these kids just graduated high school?

5:27 - After being rebuffed on Kadri, the Senators take 6'5 defenseman Jared Cowen. Cowen was considered a surefire top 5 pick until he tore his ACL midway through this season. So it's a bit perplexing that he'd fall given that most of these prospects are 2-3 years away from really making an impact. Ie, teams shouldn't be scared if he still needs a few more months of recovery time. So Ottawa possibly gets a bit of a consolation prize in the Robyn Regehr/Derian Hatcher mold.

The TSN crew interviews Cowen and Sens' GM Bryan Murray, but it doesn't take long before they start asking about Dany Heatley who had demanded a trade--a week later he'd reject a deal to Edmonton.

5:34 - The Oilers take Paajarvi-Svensson who had been considered a lock to go in the top 7. Good size, good wheels, but with questionable finishing abilities. Sounds like the Swedish Milan Michalek to me.

5:44 - Despite having a need for offense, the Predators take Ellis, a diminutive defenseman along the lines of Brian Rafalski.

5:53 - Owning approximately 528 picks, the Islanders package a handful to first move up from #26 to #12. Then those bastards take my boy Calvin de Haan. God god, dammit dammit. de Haan kinda came out of nowhere this season and was putting up good numbers, but most felt that was a function of playing on the same junior team as Tavares. But after Tavares was traded midway through the year, de Haan put up even better numbers. The analysts all say he got drafted a little too high, but I think the Islanders got a gem here.

6:01 - Just to make you feel a bit old again, TSN interviews Ray Ferraro and his son Landon who is expected to go late in the first round. He ended up slipping to the 2nd day, but was snatched up 32nd overall by Detroit.

6:03 - The Sabres' top forward prospects are Nate Gerbe (5'5) and Tyler Ennis (5'8). So it would make sense that they'd grab Zack Kassian (6'3) to be their protection. Now the question will be if Kassian turns out like Todd Bertuzzi or Turner Stevenson.

6:10 - With Jay Bouwmeester having a foot out the door, the Panthers take defenseman Dmitri Kulikov who might be able to step in immediately. Put up great numbers in the Quebec junior league this season, but noticeably slowed down at the end.

6:16 - The first of two Duck first round picks after the Pronger deal. Anaheim adds center Peter Holland here. Some have compared Holland to Jeff Carter at the same age. Lots of skill but an inconsistent level of intensity which can be misconstrued as laziness.

6:21 - The Wild are in a tough spot as they have the worst prospect pool in the league and their NHL squad isn't setting the world on fire either. Minnesota is one of the teams that's under somewhat large pressure to take local players. Here they take Nick Leddy, who had been awarded the title of "Mr. Hockey" given annually to the top Minnesota high school player. Most had winger Jordan Schroeder as the best Minnesota born player, so it'll be seen if taking Leddy instead of Schroeder might be something they'll highly regret down the road.

6:27 - The Blues select Swedish defenseman David Rundblad who was #2 on my wishlist after de Haan. But as a result, defenseman John Moore (ranked #13 by TSN) is unexpectedly still available.

6:35 - The hometown Canadiens dispatch a small army of representatives to announce their pick. In recent years, they had been skewered by local media for bypassing the best available locally produced kid. But this year, they select Quebec native Louis Leblanc to the approval of the home crowd.

6:44 - Ran-juhs. At this point I'm biting my nails with the hope that the Devils can get their hands on John Moore. New York takes U.S. high school player Chris Kreider. Most have him rated as the best pure skater in the draft, but since he played against a generally low level of competition, there are some questions about how good he is.

6:47 - As Kreider is shaking the hands of the Rangers' brass, I start going over the order of the next handful of picks: Calgary, Anaheim, Vancouver, New Jersey. "The Devils need to trade up to Calgary's pick," I declare to Aaron. The announcers mention that a trade is forthcoming as they cut to commercial.

6:48 - "The Devils have an extra 3rd round pick, so maybe they can package that with #23 for #20?"

6:51 - We come back and Bettman announces that the Flames did in fact deal the pick to the Devils, with the exact parameters I hypothesized, and I am now mildly aroused.

Pierre McGuire of the TSN crew says the Devils had great interest in Kreider who went 19th and the Devils now pick 20th. Harkens back memories from 2004 when the Rangers picked 19th and the Devils traded up to #20. Ranger fans bragged that they got a better guy. Not sure how the Ranger fans feel now about that pick, but the Devils made out pretty well.

6:52 - The announcers note that Moore is the likely target, a smooth skating 6'2 American defenseman who patterns his game after Scott Niedermayer. They run down some other names such as Schroeder, Swedish defenseman Tim Erixon, and New Jersey native Kyle Palmieri.

6:53 - They recall that in 1990 the Flames and Devils swapped draft picks. Calgary walked off with Trevor Kidd and the Devils settled for some guy named Brodeur.

6:54 - The Devils entourage finally makes it up to stage and announces they're taking Swedish center Jacob Josefson as I sit down in disgust. Hopefully this will be similar to 2004 when I wasn't thrilled that the Devils picked Travis Zajac (albeit I really wanted Mike Green there). Similarly was, and still am, unhappy with the Devils bypassing John Carlson for Mattias Tedenby last year.

Scouting reports project Josefson to be a solid #2 center. Being that he's a forward and already has a year of pro experience in Sweden, Josefson might be able to step in by 2010-11 and form a gimmicky all-Swede line with Tedenby and Nicklas Bergfors (hey, it works for Detroit, right?). Just wish New Jersey would draft a high ceiling defenseman one of these years.....I really was spoiled by the Stevens/Niedermayer experience. New Jersey would take a handful of defensemen in the later rounds to compensate.

6:59 - Columbus trades up and takes Moore. FML.

7:08 - Canuck captain Roberto Luongo announces Vancouver's selection and butchers Schroeder's name in the process. Steve Kent approves this pick.

7:13 - I spend the next 45 minutes complaining that the Devils should have taken Moore there. Meanwhile Calgary drafts Swedish defenseman Tim Erixon, Washington tabs Swedish center Marcus Johansson, Boston selects winger Jordan Caron, Anaheim picks Kyle Palmieri, Carolina goes off the board with winger Philippe Paradis, Chicago selects Canadian defenseman Dylan Olsen, and Tampa trades up for winger Ashton Carter.

7:58 - The Stanley Cup champion Pittsburgh Penguins ends the first round by selecting Quebec defenseman Simon Despres, who receives a loud ovation from the crowd. Depres is a big defenseman who (wait for the cliche) has all the tools but hasn't found the toolbox.

8:01 - Where did that girl go?

2009-05-11T23:47:00.000-07:00

(while waiting for Wolverine to start)
"My new roommates have never seen Speed." -- Danette
"We should make them watch the Keanu trilogy of Bill & Ted's, Point Break, and Speed. There's this theater version of Point Break that I've been meaning to see in LA." -- me
"That sounds awesome, I'm going to LA next weekend."
"Me too."

Finally caught Point Break Live after finding out about it years ago. It was amusing and I certainly would go again.

Part of the selling point is that they pick an audience member to "perform" as Johnny Utah. Ie, an unprepared amateur reading a cue card could more than adequately replicate Keanu Reeves' performance.

I misread/misinterpreted the procedure, since I was under the impression that they'd pick somebody completely at random like "Tonight's Johnny Utah is in row 2, seat 13." But instead, they asked for volunteers to come on stage and deliver the "Are we gonna jump or jerk off?" line while the rest of the crowd voted for the best guy.

In retrospect, this was the better route. The "director" of the show reminded the crowd that if we voted in a shitty Johnny Utah, that we'd end up with a shitty show. Despite having seen the movie approximately 597 times, I didn't have the testicular fortitude to "audition." But the guy that got voted in would have been much better than me, and he had the Keanu blank stare down.

Their site warned us ahead of time to not wear anything clothing we wouldn't mind being stained. They even sold "survival kits" containing plastic ponchos as if we were watching a Gallagher show.

The show more or less followed the script, although they bypassed the subplot involving Anthony Kiedis' group of surfers. Although in retrospect, that would have required a couple more actors and would have taken away from the later shootout scenes.

The Gary Busey/Angelo Pappas actor was awesome, as was FBI director Harp. The actors added an extra element to each character to reflect Busey's drug use and J. Edgar Hoover's behavior.

Personally thought the guy who played Roach was the best of the actual actors. The one who played Bodhi did a good job, but he had the emphasis on the wrong word on a handful of lines. Then again the show was only $20 and the source material is Point Break, so I shouldn't be mad if they gave Roach one of Nathanial's lines.

Several good improvised/new lines:

"Arrrrrgh......I guess I won't be in the sequel." -- Pappas

"Alright, Paul from The Wonder Years." -- Roach to the guy who played Johnny Utah who did bear a slight resemblence to Paul from The Wonder Years

"Condi, go to the vault!" -- Bodhi to Roach, who was wearing a a Condeleeza Rice mask instead of an Ex-President's one

The show also had a short lived run in Vegas last October. The San Francisco version also just reopened. Just in case any of you Bay Area types only live to get radical.

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My friend told me an amusing story about how her then boyfriend ended up on Judge Judy several years ago. He lived in a house owned by the parents of one roommate. That roommate also lacked basic social skills. For instance, if somebody was playing their music too loudly, he would call his parents who would then call the offending roommate.

And if you had a friend stay over on the couch, he needed to be prepared to pay a prorated portion of the rent. Ditto if a non-roommate dared to take a shower.

So after awhile, the other guys were a bit annoyed with his behavior and wanted to get back at him. Somehow they decided killing his goldfish was the proper course of action.

Guy comes home and discovers the dead fish, accuses the others of foul play. One roommate steps up and contends that he was merely carrying a bowl of dish soap, tripped, and accidentally spilled it into the aquarium.

Eventually the roommate sues for the loss of the fish and the labor of manually cleaning the tank. Something to the tune of $350. Enter Judge Judy, whose people parse through small claims court cases and reach out to folks like this. The kicker is that they offer to cover the damages as well as pay the plaintiff/defendent $500 to appear.

They drive up to LA for the taping. The witnesses in the court room are all paid actors, who apparently were told to rehearse their overreactions before the camera starts filming. LION FACE! ARRRR! LEMON FACE! OOOH!

The psycho roommate eventually won as the other guy unsuccessfully used the "...but he's a dick" defense. But now that I've tracked down the episode number, I gotta figure out how to get a copy.

After a false start last year, MTV is finally releasing "The State" on DVD in July. It's been amusing watching the proliferation of various cast members through the years.

Various members have been regulars on Reno 911. Thomas Lennon and Joe Lo Truglio had supporting roles in "I Love You, Man." Finally caught "Role Models" this week which was co-written by State member David Wain. Lo Truglio and Wain had speaking roles along with Ken Marino and Kerri Kenney-Silver. Michael Ian Black is known to most as "That guy" from all the VH1 I Love the 70s/80s/90s/00s episodes.

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One of my personal favorite songs is Failure's cover of "Enjoy the Silence" that I first heard in summer 1998. As I was listening to it last week, it only then dawned on me to wonder "Hey, I wonder if any of their original stuff is any good?"

Color me intrigued thus far. Their musical genre had been described as space rock, which has been optimal to listen to right before going to sleep. Guitarist Troy Van Leeuwen was part of the original incarnation of A Perfect Circle while late being in Queens of the Stone Age. A Perfect Circle does a cover of Failure's "The Nurse Who Loved Me" on one of their albums.

And I was amused to find that there was a tribute album of Failure covers since I really only knew Failure for their cover of Depeche Mode.

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RIP Geocities. With Yahoo announcing that it was closing the doors on this late 90s relic, I had to go through my old site to see if there was anything worth salvaging.

There was this little blip I wrote up in August of 2000 regarding what Alexei Yashin had done during his yearlong holdout from the NHL. Despite the crude MS Paint alterations, one since defunct and resurrected Faceoff.com did offer me some sort of gig to write for them.

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I was "hired" to be a photographer for my friend's work event. I'm excited, if only because I can add a crappy watermark to the pictures and jokingly sell them to the attendees. Plus I'm debating if I should show up like a contemporary photographer, the ones carrying around multiple camera bags with various lenses and detachable flashes. Or I could dress up like an old timey photographer.

Death Pool update:

Guang: 109 (Jade Goody, Maria de Jesus dos Santos, Wendy Richards)
Kat: 14 (Bea Arthur)
Vietca: 10 (Claiborne Pell)
Everybody else: 0

While perusing the Wikipedia recent deaths page, one name caught my eye: former boxer Greg Page. Couldn't quite figure out why that name rung a bell, especially since his prime was in the early 80s.

Then it hit me. Growing up, I had this game called Sierra Championship Boxing for DOS. Since I was young, I wasn't particularly skillful and basically just mashed buttons usually resulting in a quick knockout for either me or my opponent.

But from that game, I remember having one epic twelve round bout with either with or against Page. Despite multiple knockdowns by both fighters, nobody could secure a KO. And when it went to the judges' cards, where my fighter got the narrow split decision victory.

The game itself came default with real boxers like Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, Roberto Duran but also several "fun" characters like Harry the Kangaroo. The game also gave the user the ability to create custom players and due to memory constraints, you had to delete an existing character for a new one.

After awhile, the 8 year old version of me couldn't distinguish which ones were original and which ones were ficticious.

So until a couple days ago, I had assumed "Page" was some imaginary entity like Bald Bull or Piston Honda. It made me sad knowing he was a real guy.

Speaking of Piston Honda, his name has been changed to Piston Hondo in the forthcoming Punchout release for the Wii. That game has me tempted to buy a Wii for the third time.

Another staple DOS game of my childhood was NFL Challenge. The gameplay itself was different than say Tecmo Bowl. You would pick a formation (0-9) and then a play (0-9) to run. And the screen would go into an animation of green offensive O's and red defensive X's running the play. Just the thought of a red X returning an interception for a touchdown brings me great joy. The idea of anthropomorphic letters playing football is highly amusing to me.

Being that I grew up cheering for the L.A. Raiders, I remember manually keeping track of stats from my games. I'm sure if I dug through my old notebooks, I could find inscriptions like "Hostetler 17-29, 194 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT."

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Unlike past years, I wasn't awkwardly giddy about the NFL Draft. Seemed like a below average year as it seemed like the teams picking in the top five were desperately attempting to trade down. The Chargers only having one pick in the top 60 didn't help either.

When it came time for the Bolts to pick, I was hoping they could trade down and recoup the 2nd rounder they gave up to draft Jacob Hester last season. Figured they could have traded down and still landed Rey Maualuga and then drafted a safety in the 2nd (both highly rated safeties would have both been off the board however).

It seemed a bit unexpected at the time when they selected outside linebacker Larry English. After digesting that pick for a few days, it made sense. Basically insurance for Shawne Merriman for the future and to develop depth in case of injury since the Chargers' pass rush was woefully impotent last season.

And to my surprise, I'm actually excited about one of their mid-round picks since they drafted Vaughn Martin out of Canada. He was a Jamaican immigrant who moved to Toronto at an early age and had hoped to play hockey after seeing the Mighty Ducks movies. At 6'4 330 pounds, he had an impressive predraft workout. The question now is whether that can be developed into possibly being Jamal Williams' heir apparent.

So on the downside, it seemed like the Chargers drafted developmental players who might have not have the most immediate impact. But on the other hand, it seemed like everybody else in the division had a questionable day as well.

Kansas City was stuck at #3 and picked Tyson Jackson whom most had more in the 10-15 range. Meanwhile, the Raiders were everybody's whipping boy as they drafted Darrius Heyward-Bay instead of consensus #1 receiver Michael Crabtree. And then in the second round, they traded up to draft a safety that most figured would go undrafted. And then there was Denver who pulled the Bobby Beathard "trade you next year's first for a second rounder this year" move which always has potential for a disaster.

(after the Devils lost game 4 with 0.2 seconds remaining)
"You're taking this pretty well." -- Kurt
"I guess if you watch long enough, you'll see everything." -- me

The Devils exit this year was definitely a new one. 90 seconds away from a second round meeting with the Capitals, and then Carolina rallies for two goals to abruptly end New Jersey's season. I suppose that's what makes the championships more special, since you deal with disappointment most of the time. Brace for flashback.....

1994: I had only just begun to root for the Devils, so I wasn't immediately heartbroken when Stephane Matteau sent them home packing. If the Kings had a better 1995, they probably could have won me back as a fan.

1995: Now full-fledged as a Devils fan, I recall watching part of a round 2 game against the Penguins while in a Van Nuys Circuit City. Also had to rush home from a doctor's appointment to catch the Devils eliminate the Flyers in the Conference Finals. My sister's then boyfriend was a Red Wings fan, so we had some friendly verbal jabbing prior to the Finals. Devils smoked 'em, and thus really began my fanaticism.

1996: The Devils managed to miss the playoffs. Going into the last game of the season, the Devils needed a win to clinch a playoff spot. And they were playing the worst team in the NHL, the Ottawa Senators. I remember my cousin was over, and I'd periodically check the TV for score updates (ah, the days before my reliance on the Internets).

When I checked the ticker one last time, I was horrified to see "OTT 5, NJ 2 F" in a game that the Devils had been leading 2-1 to start the third period. Immediately the feeling in the media was that the Devils were a fluke and that their Cup win ought to have an asterisk since it occurred during the stirke shortened season.

1997: Unfortunately the playoffs coincided with the AP Test season. So I don't have any vivid memories of their opening round series headlined by Brodeur scoring a goal. I only had AP Physics remaining but the Devils were down 3-1 to the Rangers. Stupid Adam Graves scored on a wraparound in overtime to end it. And then I sucked it up on the exam.....because I had no business taking it since our teacher did little to prepare us.

1998: Again, I don't have any memories thanks to AP tests. The #1 seeded Devils got knocked off in six games by those damned Ottawa Senators. But at least I could enjoy the remainder of senior year.

1999: Spring quarter at UCSD started off with being dumped. Soon I found myself unmotivated and only taking three classes. But I figured with all my free time, I could at least distract myself and watch the Devils who were once again the top seed. And then they lose in game 7 to the Penguins.

Images of Martin Straka sliding along the ice celebrating still seem fresh in my memory. And perhaps not coincidentally I dyed my hair green soon after in a "I hate my life, let's do something stupid" moment.

2000: Simply awesome. I've mentioned this enough times, but this was the time that school and hockey helped restore my faith in humanity.

2001: Devils had a scare in the 2nd round, going to 7 games against Toronto. I remember having a CSE120 midterm that afternoon. Sitting in Round Table, the Devils tied it just has I had to leave for the test. Afterwards, I quickly went back and see the Devils won 5-1. In the Conference Finals, I had to watch a convincing 5-0 win over Pittsburgh while in Davis for my sister's law school graduation.

I had invited Jeff/Jim/Chris/Jina to come visit before finals week started for me. That night, the Devils had a chance to clinch in game 6 but played a clunker of a game. In a bit of a karma faux paus, I turned stopped watching the game to take the gang to dinner at Denny's. Devils also blew game 7, but I had some tough finals to study for.

2002: We had purchased tickets for game 6 of Kings/Avalanche, so I was on the freeway as the Devils got knocked out by Carolina. Highly disappointing since I had gotten all of my hard classes out of the way in order to have maximum downtime for the playoffs. But I had that whole graduation/finding a job thing to worry about.

2003: First playoff without having to worry about studying. First playoff with a full time job and expendable monies! And this was the first time I really got to know the floor hockey folks as I watched the Devils win the Cup at Steve's house.

2004: The Devils never really found their groove and were quite forgettable in their title defense as I wave adios to the Stevens/Niedermayer era.

2005: Thanks Gary. Thanks Bob.

2006: Devils stumbled out of the gates to open up the post-lockout NHL, but had a furious second half to win the division. The team exorcised some demons and swept the Rangers, only to be knocked out by the eventual champion Hurricanes. I was at my uncle's house for the elimination game.....I always feel like it's negative karma to watch anywhere but my house.

2007: Unfortunately highlighted by meeting Wayne Gretzky at the Wynn. Those damned Senators knocked New Jersey out in the second round and the Ducks win the Cup thereby proving that there is no God.

2008: Rangers win in 5. I have the sudden urge to fail a Physics exam.

2009: Aside from watching them blow a lead late in the game, it was one near step away from me breaking something. Our DVR had been acting up recently; It would stop recording at random moments. With five minutes left in the game, both boxes crashed and rebooted. It came back in time for me to watch the collapse, but if it had gone from 3-2 lead to blue screen of death directly to 4-3 deficit, then I might have punched a hole in the wall.

----------------

When your team wins a championship there's an unwritten rule that you can't complain about anything for five years. Not counting the lockout season, the five year grace period has basically ended for me.

Dainius Zubrus - Good god. He's under contract for four more years? Hated this signing at the time, mostly because Zubrus had been in the Eastern Conference for ten years and I never found myself worrying about shutting him down. Linemate Brian Gionta ~~passive aggressively~~ jokingly suggested that Zubrus should get the Selke since Gionta's offensive production has gone down since his breakout 2005-06 campaign.

For a guy that's 6'4 with good wheels and decent hands, the guy just doesn't produce outside of the two years he was piggybacking Ovechkin.

Can't imagine Lou Lamoriello being too happy given Zubrus' combined playoff output the last two seasons: 12 games, 0 goals, 2 assists, -5. Not exactly top 6 forward material.

Bryce Salvador - I didn't mind him as a deadline pickup last year. But I was mildly unhappy when the Devils kept him for four years @ 2.9 million. +/- is a stat that gets misused. Ie, Aaron Ward's +16 in Boston doesn't mean he's better than Scott Hannan's -21 in Colorado. But if you keep it relative to each team, then I think it's more useful.

Mike Mottau +24
Paul Martin +21
Johnny Oduya +21
Colin White +18
Bryce Salvador -1

*raises hand* I think I see a problem. Salvador had the revolving door with defense partners, so maybe it's not entirely his fault.

Brian Rolston - I was very happy to get Rolston back as he was one of my favorites growing up. But I wasn't thrilled that they gave him a four year deal. Before free agency started, I told Kurt I hoped the Devils could land him for a three year deal. That way, there might only be one regrettable season. Rolston's year was tough as he had an ankle injury which sidelined him for a good chunk of the year. When he came back, there wasn't a natural spot to put him and he mostly languished getting 3rd/4th line minutes. Mildly optimistic he'll have a bounceback year, but his contract likely means there's no salary cap space for the more productive Brian Gionta.

~~Unfrozen Caveman Center~~ Bobby Holik - Since it was only a one year deal, I was excited to get Holik back to provide some size and offense which our 4th line was lacking. Unfortunately he was a shell of his former self, albeit the guy is 38. It's also amazing to think how well he's been paid this decade:

2000-01: 2.7 million
2001-02: 3.5 million - arbitration award, last year with Devils
2002-03: 9.6 million - first year in a 5 year, 45 million dollar contract with Rangers
2003-04: 8.85 million
2004-05: 2 million - due to a clever cause in his contract, he got 2 million every year on July 1st, so he got paid despite the lockout year
2005-06: 13.218 million - (8.968 + 4.25) - To get under the cap, the Rangers bought out the remaining two years of Holik's deal (8.968 million). Then Atlanta signed him to a 3 year deal
2006-07: 4.25 million
2007-08: 4.25 million
2008-09: 2.5 million

So in total, he's made 50.8 million in NHL salary this decade. Some other notables: Scott Niedermayer (42.5), Marian Hossa (31.375), Joe Thornton (38.575), Joe Sakic (58.94), Mike Modano (49.5). The reunion tour was a better in theory than practice as Slow-lik found himself moved to wing because of a lack of speed and eventually a healthy scratch in five of six playoff games.

Martin Brodeur - Before the season, a drunk Kurt was musing "What are the Devils gonna do after Brodeur? They're done." So when he went down for half a season, it was at least reassuring that the team is bigger than just one player. Maybe his eventual replacement wont' be a future Hall of Famer, but the level of goaltending is pretty high nowadays. The difference between the top tier and the middle tier isn't as big with the evolution of the position.

The thing that worries me about Brodeur is that he's more reliant on his reflexes than the more typical butterfly goalies. And reflexes tend to diminish with age. So it's kinda tough watching him flail around even though it's worked in the past. At least in comparison to the Luongo's and Lundqvist's who seem robotic but in control.

The salary cap is expected to remain steady for 2009-10, but it's the 2010-11 cap that most are forecasting will be the one to reflect the economic downturn. Like many teams, the Devils have some regrettable deals which limit what they can do. It's seeming more and more likely that mainstays like Gionta and John Madden will be given a gold watch and the "Sergei Brylin plaque of appreciation" rather than a new contract.

The NHL is inching closer to operating like the NBA in terms of trading under a capped environment. NBA teams almost no longer trade equally talented players, but instead trade for expiring contracts.

Because of their current situation, the Devils probably won't be in a position to make any large multiyear offers to prime free agents like Jay Bouwmeester. An ideal puckmoving defenseman might be Sergei Zubov if he's willing to accept a one year deal + leave Dallas. Lou Lamoriello seems to like to collect Dallas Stars (Langenbrunner/Niewendyk/Marshall/Matvichuk/Lukowich) and foes of playoffs past.

On the bright side, Zach Parise continued to impress and finished fifth in NHL scoring with 94 points. Patrik Elias had a resurgance and had a point per game season while Travis Zajac recovered from a horrific sophomore season.

For casual fans, the next season begins in October. For dorks like me, the next season begins in earnest on Draft Day (June 26th) followed by the opening of free agency on July 1st.

Annual Draft mancrush/targets for the Devils is defenseman Calvin de Haan. Alternative realistic choices which would make me happy: David Rundblad, Nick Leddy, Zach Budish, Peter Holland, Kyle Palmieri, or Chris Kreider.

Previous Draft mancrushes include: Adam Colagiacomo (1997), Justin Papineau (1998), Ross Lupaschuk (1999), Kurtis Foster (2000), Lukas Krajicek (2001), Alexander Polushin (2001), Robert Nilsson (2003), Mike Green (2004), David Fischer (2006), John Carlson (2008). Sadly, as poor as that list looks, it's not much worse than the Devils' actual first rounders the last eleven years.

------------

But 'tis all in good fun. Had a gal friend who used to chide me for writing posts like this, basically dismissing sports as entertainment--ironic in that she seems to have become a sports fan over the years.

In the end, that's what it is. Entertainment, a distraction from the less exciting aspects of life. And for me, one way to distinguish the years from being lumped in with one another.

2009-04-21T22:39:00.000-07:00

I've been mentally guilt tripping myself from posting anything of late. Mildly annoyed by various folks posting every mundane detail in their Facebook statuses, only to realize that I have maintained a blog for the better part of a decade.

Although I did enjoy one friend's mobile upload to let everybody know he had gotten into a Vegas club and then getting a phone call thirty minutes later from mutual friend who saw him get kicked out for trying to swipe a bottle of alcohol.

John Doe is getting kicked out of club. BRB.

-------------------

Took an unintentional Spring Break as I went back home to visit the folks since my Dad had surgery recently (he's doing well).

As usual, I went rummaging through my old boxes in the garage in hopes of finding anything amusing. Found a copy of my last junior high newspaper, dated June 1994 complete with details about our upcoming Disneyland trip (same day as the OJ Bronco chase) and a movie review for Naked Gun 33 1/3 (also featuring The Juice). Another page had reviews for the latest Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, and Alice in Chains records.

During 8th grade, they introduced street hockey into our rotation of sports for PE. Unfortunately that didn't carry over into high school. My friend Mary also managed to have a fairly lengthy article debating whether the NHL should adopt a two referee system and go into shootout to decide regular season games. Oh the days of getting my NHL fix from a junior high newspaper.

I had the main splash photo which led into the school picture section for all the Sophomores. There's me in 1995 wearing a Florida Panthers hat, possibly telling everybody how they'll make the Stanley Cup Finals that year. Or I'm just wearing a hat I got for $2 while hanging around the baseball players of my year before I eventually was excommunicated because I wasn't in any of their classes nor played baseball. Thanks Dad.

Also dug through a bunch of UCSD exams, homework, and notebooks. I was hoping to find my ECE109 midterm exam for sentimental reasons. One of those things that symbolized that I'm not a complete screwup. Long story short, I had been meandering through college not really putting forth full effort. Then I ~~had an epiphany~~ really wanted to show up this gal who didn't want to study with me. I made it my mission to destroy that exam with the childish desire to go "Neener neener neener, you could have done as well as me."

It was a tough test, but I still had the urge to slam it on the professor's desk and tell him not to waste his time in grading it and just to give me 100% on the spot. The average was pretty low and I got my 100%. I wish I wasn't raised to respond to negative reinforcement.

And my personal favorite find was this cassette single of Hammer's "Pumps and a Bump." I assure you that I did not purchase this. I just remember it coming up in conversation and my buddy mentioned that for some reason he had it. Suffice to say, I recently asked several friends if they happened to still have cassette players in their cars.

-------------------

I blew my tax refund on a new car stereo. Unlike many of my other purchases, I have absolutely no regrets about this one. Main amenity with this one is the USB port. You can plug in an mp3 player or a flash drive and it'll read it....handy for me since my iPod is currently non-functional.

Although my one regret is the circumstances which led to me getting a replacement stereo....

....So my friend was in town for work and a wedding. Work provided her a flight and rental car, but she was getting a bad vibe from coworkers who may have been theorizing she only came on the trip because it coincided with the wedding.

She was going to pay for the extra day out of her pocket, but Avis wanted $100. I had offered up my car since the wedding was only like 15 miles away, plus I was occupied for most of that day anyways. We had already planned on her staying over at our place for at least a night, so I didn't think it was a big deal.

The plan on Friday night was for her to drop off the car at the airport and I'd pick her up. I arrived first and gave her a call. On the other end, she's freaking out because she thinks she just triggered a red light camera.

In my head, I'm jokingly thinking "Great, this is the girl I'm lending my car to."

Then I see her pull in with no headlights on at 10pm. I think she was just down the street filling the gas tank, but still a bit scary to see. She then mentions that she'd been in two accidents recently and that the red light camera might cause her insurance to drop her.

In my head, I'm not so jokingly thinking "Great, this is the girl I'm lending my car to."

I do my best to distract her from the possible calamity, mentioning things like how the red light camera near our place seemingly takes photos for no reason all the time. But she's not having it.

She calls her mom while we're at the rental car place. Twenty minutes later, we finally leave. She calls her mom again while we're driving. We stop to get coffee. She calls her mom again. We get back to my place. She calls her mom again. The last time she's on the phone long enough for me to almost finish watching the Devils game I had DVR'd. And this gal is no longer in her 20s.

Next day, she takes off for the wedding and says she'll be back by 10. I go to dinner with some other friends and get home at 9:30. Friends and I rented a movie as I nervously watch the clock creep closer to 11 with no further contact.

Eventually I get a call. My car battery died! And she has no idea what happened. Kinda hard to give her the benefit of the doubt at this juncture. She said it had already been jumped, so she'd be back shortly.

...90 minutes later she gets back and apologizes. Then she mentioned that my car stereo is locked out. In stock Honda radios, if the stereo gets disconnected from battery power it assumes it's being stolen. When it gets turned on again, it expects a 5 digit code which I never received.

It's 2am and she's reading me this from the owner's manual. I'm just a tad bit annoyed with everything and caustically mention that I can deal with it tomorrow. She then goes upstairs to change and says she'll be "right back down."

(Earlier in the day, she got annoyed at me as I had left my door open and one of my roommates might have seen she had stayed over. Scandalous I tell you, scandalous!)

My roommates come back from various drunken endeavors, one in particular has the munchies. After 15 minutes, we decide to get some food as I'm mostly curious about the condition of my car. I go upstairs to check up on her.....and she's on the phone.....at 3am.

We get back from Carl's Jr (without crashing into it!) and I walk through the front door. She's on our stairwell and begins to ask me a question when the other guys walk in behind me. She lets out a scream, sprints back into my room and shuts the door.

"Just like a rat," I mutter.

I go into my room and she angrily says "You didn't tell me your buddies were coming over!" I'm a bit dumbfounded as I mention "They're my roommates....they kinda live here."

The next morning she gets a phone call and has the courtesy to take it out of my room. As she's walking through our house, she notices that one of the bedroom doors is open. So she logically carries her conversation in their bathroom.

Meanwhile, a certain drunk roommate of mine had fallen asleep on the couch the previous night. He wakes up and walks into his room. He opens the bathroom door to find some girl on the phone.

In her panic, she vacates the room and proceeds to fall down the stairs. I do vaguely recall hearing a thump.

A few hours later, I happily drop her off at the airport and try to shake off the utterly bizarre weekend. I suppose the part that bugs me the most is that she didn't seem cognizant that any of her behavior was unusual.

So back to the radio, Honda will give you the 5 digit code only if you provide the VIN of the car and the serial number of the radio. Only way to get the serial number is to physically remove it from the dashboard.

So I could either pay to have it removed or just get a new stereo. Being that my CD player was a 50/50 proposition at best, I figured it was a pretty good time to splurge.

Friend was trying to set me up on a blind date with a friend of some guy she just met. My friend managed to extract some details including which high school she went went. Turned out it was the same high school as my old lab partner, so I sent his younger brother a picture to see if he knew the girl. Unfortunately his first response was "she put on some weight." And it's not like she was out of shape in the picture or anything, but just not the ideal comment you'd like to hear.

And then several weeks later, he sent me a link of a different photo of her that he had come across. But he typed "Don't" when he intended to type "Don." Gotta love Freudian typos.

---------------------

Note to self: Stop inviting people who don't like baseball to baseball games.

Had a distinct juxtaposition at a game last week. Went with a group of friends, but one gal was giving off the "I don't want to be here" vibe almost from the moment we left for the ballpark. She proceeded to spend the next three hours texting while otherwise looking disinterested.

Meanwhile in the row in front of us, there's a cute gal wearing a Tim Lincecum shirt. Giants score a run and she genuinely cheers without being obnoxious--unlike other drunken Giants fans ~~like Kurt~~ whom were present downtown.

But yeah, I couldn't help but compare and contrast. And it's not like you're supposed to intently watch every pitch. There's just certain ways to carry yourself....or at least don't leave during the 7th inning stretch.

---------------------

There's an amusing commercial that aired during Sharks games recently. The setup is three guys at a sports bar being served by a homely looking waitress. But then she starts spouting off random tidbits like "Most people don't know this, but Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau went 1-2 in the 1997 Draft." And each time they pan back to the waitress, they switch her with a progressively more attractive woman.

On a similar note, I may have "hockey jersey" goggles. We were downtown on Thursday night watching the Ducks/Sharks game. As the third period is about to begin, Asian gal walks in alone wearing a mid-90s Sharks jersey. She asks if she can sit at our table and we begrudgingly oblige.

Not to imply that this girl was hideous either....but I really can't remember what she looked like to be frank. I was just mesmerized by:

A) Hockey jersey B) Knows which bar is the go to place to watch hockey C) Used to play ice hockey

Everybody was concentrating on watching a scoreless game, so it wasn't the best time to attempt to make idle chatter. Before I had a chance to ~~epic fail~~ chat it up any further, one of her guy friends showed up to the bar as the game ended and they left together.

---------------------

Frozen Fury, September 26th. Up and at them!

2009-03-09T00:18:00.000-07:00

Apologies to the dozens (AND DOZENS) of folks who regularly check this site for random hockey musings, tips on weight loss, and misadventures with attractive women that only have interest in harvesting my organs for sale on the black market.

--------------------

We were watching the MLB Network and they were having a show about the older ballparks. During the segment on Dodger Stadium, the Dodgers' PR guy mentioned how they regularly invite youth teams to practice on the field when it isn't in use by the Dodgers. Followed by obligatory shots of kids happily playing.

Couldn't help but be bitter: "Reminds me of my childhood. Oh wait, no, I didn't get to play during the day in summer. My parents made me do math. When is that ever going to come in handy? To help my friend study for the GMAT?"

I forget what prompted this conversation, but Kurt unearthed a suppressed memory of mine when he mentioned these late 80s baseball sticker books. Basically you'd buy this yearbook which was filled with various stats and tidbits of information. But there weren't any pictures since you were supposed to buy packs of stickers which you would then put into the yearbook.

I remember having this. I was up in San Francisco visiting a family friend--coincidentally I do remember that baseball commishioner Bart Giamatti died during this trip--and everybody went to the grocery store. While in the checkout line, I couldn't help but notice they were selling packs of these sticker cards. I asked my parents if I could get a pack but my request was quickly dismissed.

Our family friend probably saw the sad look on my face and she bought me a couple of packs. So naturally I was quite happy despite my parents telling her to return them. We get back to their house and I'm getting ready to open them like your typical eager eight year old. And my Dad waits until everybody else is outside of hearing distance and he starts yelling at me.

It's little episodes like that which probably make me feel guilty when other people do nice things for me to this day.

--------------------

So I was helping my friend study for the GMAT. I was mildly amused that I did pretty well on the math section with zero preparation.

1) x+y=a; x-y=b; Find 2xy in terms of a and b.

2) Aaron can run at a rate of x miles per hour, while he can walk at a rate of y miles per hour. Aaron typically will run from home a distance D and walk back the same route. If Aaron spends time t running from and walking back home, how far can he venture from his house in terms of x, y, and t?

(solution at the end of post)

(brunt of the video starts at the 50 second mark)

Kurt forwarded me this (first of a) series of modified Super Mario World stages. Suffice to say, high comedy.

....and because we're nerds, we dug out the SNES. Who needs a working a PS3?

Edit: Translation of the text boxes according to Howard......

penpen2015: well the first one with the block landing on marios head basically say, god dammit, i have to save that woman(bitch) again?
penpen2015: yoshi:s house text says, quit taking side trips (wasting time) and hurry up and get going! -signed super dragon yoshi
penpen2015: the first one isnt that vicious sounding
penpen2015: but i couldnt find the right english words to make it be a little less vicious
penpen2015: the message block in the first stage says the following
penpen2015: first stage
penpen2015: if you cant clear this stage without cheating, you are better off dying in real life

"Let's watch Empire Strikes Back." -- drunk Kurt

(preceded by a discussion of the mid-90s PC Game TIE Fighter)
"TIE Bombers suck." -- me, during asteroid scene
"You used TIE Advanced huh?" -- Kurt
"Nah, TIE Inceptors." -- me
"You know what sucked about those?" -- Kurt
"They didn't have shields." -- me
"Yeah." -- Kurt
(pause)
"I'm gonna go upstairs and hang myself now." -- me

(next day)
"I came home and Kurt was asleep watching Star Wars and playing Axis and Allies on his computer." -- Guang

"Sorry if that text message earlier sounded curt....curt as in C-U-R-T, not Kurt." -- Aaron
"Pretty much the same thing either way."

(at friends' Edward Fortyhands party)
"So, who do you know here?" -- drunk girl
"I'm Guang's roommate." -- me
"You're not Juan's roommate. Juan's roommates are hot." -- drunk girl

Unbeknownst to me, there was a guy named Juan there. I don't know Juan or his roommates. But I suddenly have the urge to fight them to regain my dignity.

Vegas hockey trip was pretty standard compared to the last couple of years. For the second straight year, my team got eliminated in the semifinals in shootout. I suppose that's a sign that we need to practice that for next year.

On the way up, there was an overturned car which blocked both lanes of the N-15 near Baker. So we sat parked in traffic for 20-30 minutes. Figured it was as good a time as any to break out the sticks and play some shinny on the freeway. I suppose you had to be there to enjoy the visual of somebody stickhandling between cars.

I kept this trip low key with the purpose of "saving" cash. Objective #1 was not to spend $100+ on table service. After several Vegas trips last year, it seemed like I wasted a hefty amount on doing this. And that money could be much better allocated for ~~birthday presents for ex-girlfriends~~ donating to charitable causes.

But on the first night, one of friends said he had the obligatory hookup at a club. After being assured that it would only be $20/person to get in, I went with the rest of the guys to "The Bank" inside the Bellagio. Nothing terribly exciting, standard fare of guys in ugly striped shirts and forgettable women.

There was a group of gals near us and they were taking the standard group party photos. Using my skills as a former Six Flags employee, I offered to take the photos for them so everybody could be in the picture. But mostly, I wanted a closer look. Walked away and was debating whether this one gal was legitimately cute or if she was just simply less hideous than the rest of her friends. Eventually figured that while her body said "25" but the wrinkles on her face said otherwise.

Unfortunately my drunk buddy only heard the first half of my ramblings and decided he'd play wingman. Couldn't help but want to hide as he tapped the girl on the shoulder and pointed in my direction.

Next, he forcibly dragged me by the collar over to the girl who was visibly not interested. Had a brief conversation along the lines of "Please excuse my drunk friend" and tried to walk away. At which point drunk 6'4 friend bearhugs me and implores me to not leave without getting more info. Mind you, bearhugging me in the middle of a dance floor.

"I appreciate the help, but you can let go of me. This probably isn't making me look any more attractive either."

--------------------

Majority of the time was spent at the rink. Those who care about that portion were most likely there with us.....but here's a recap in non-haiku form:

San Diego Sex Panthers 1, Orange County Snipers 0 - We had a slight advantage in shots throughout the game, but weren't able to get many good scoring opportunities. One of our D took a point shot which trickled through their goaltender and Julie hammered home the rebound for the lone goal of the game.

San Diego Sex Panthers 1, Orange County Fighting Irish 1 - We controlled the first half of the game, but the other games came on really strong to finish. On an early shift, I recovered the ball in the corner of the offensive zone and spotted Dorothy wide open in the slot. I rushed a pass which was approximately 150 feet off the mark. The next shift was redeeming though, as again Dorothy was open but my pass was much better and she roofed it to give us a 1-0 lead.

Missed a glorious opportunity late to extend the lead to two. On a dump in, their goalie went behind the net to play the ball but Joel beat him to it. Joel centered it to me in the slot and I tried to one time it into the vacated net.

But their goalie dove back and made the save since I didn't elevate the shot. In retrospect, I may have had time to pull the Top Gun "hit the brakes and he'll fly right by me" move instead of rushing a one timer. Hell, after looking at the still photo, it seems like I had to try to miss the gaping net. I'm gonna go throw up now.

Kevin made several huge saves to preserve the lead until we gave up a breakaway goal with 45 seconds left.

If we had held onto the win, we would have had the #1 seed going into the elimination bracket which would have been a nice ego boost. But the #1 seed also had to play at 3pm on Saturday. The #3 seed didn't have to play until 6pm, thus giving us extra time to enjoy Vegas. Derek then happily announced that his team (also from our league) ended up with the #6 seed seed.

"They're in direct competition! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" -- Homer

San Diego Sex Panthers 2, San Diego Sun Gods 1 - If anything, this game was ripe for prop bets. The teams agreed (without mine or Derek's consent) that the losing captain had to do Edward Fortyhands at the post-tournament party. And since Julie and Dorothy (the only gals on our team) scored both our goals, there was a bet on whether or not a male player on our team would score.

Sun Gods came out a little more quickly than us......possibly since one of our defenders was still en route and Dorothy was still hungover. But we took advantage of an offensive zone draw. After a bit of cycling, we got the ball back to Isaac at the point who fired one on net. I did my best Ryan Smyth impersonation to screen Jimm and the shot found daylight.

We took a penalty and Derek redirected a shot up and over Kevin to tie the score. They had a slight majority in terms of shots for the rest of the game, but we took the lead on a dubious goal. It appeared as though one of our players kicked in the ball on a scramble around the crease. Unfortunately one ref had a bad vantage point and the other ref has 20:150 vision.

Kevin saved our bacon as Mikey stickhandled through two defenders (including myself, I'm still questioning why I took that angle) and fired a wrister from the slot with less than 10 seconds remaining. In their previous game, he scored the game winner on almost the exact same move. But this time, Kevin made the save with his mask and we hung onto the lead.

Barrie Blizzards 3, San Diego Sex Panthers 2 (shootout) - I took some flack in that the finals were at ~10pm and I rescheduled our team dinner reservations for 9:45pm. (Realistically the restaurant closed at 11pm and I didn't want to make a reservation for 11pm)

Although both Derek and I had pegged this Canadian team as the best in our pool. Mostly because they seemed to have the best individual skill up front. To my slight surprise, we took it to them early.

Jordan scored on a 2 on 1 during the first shift as we had a 1-0 lead after the first half. Unfortunately my line was out when they scored off a draw. We traded a few more chances until we recaptured the lead with a goal from Jeremy. Things were looking great, until one of their guys rushed in and picked a corner with a little over a minute left.

Overtime was mostly uneventful although we had a late power play. We headed to shootout and we were definitely not a team made for a shootout. Unfortunately for us, rules allowed the other team to cycle through their best three players. Since the skill level of our team didn't vary much at all, I was prepared to let everybody have a shot.

The gang made fun of me last year for not inserting myself in the shootout, so this time around I was the #2 shooter. I had practiced my move a little bit the week before (and beaten Nick pretty well with it).

The move working is predicated on either the goalie going for a pokecheck or moving side-to-side, either way opening up the five hole for a tap-in. Got the move off alright, but the 5-hole didn't seem wide open so I tried to pull it around his pad....but I didn't have enough touch and lost control.

We went six shooters deep on each side before the other guys squeaked one by Kevin. It was a little bit bitter to get ousted in shootout again. But at least we knew that we never trailed in the tournament until that point, and that the Barrie team won in the Finals as well.

Also played goalie on a Men's C/D team. Didn't have the highest of hopes though. It's hard enough finding instant chemistry when we've never played together unlike most of the other teams in these tournaments. It's especially tough when a significant portion of your team doesn't regularly play ball hockey.

We played a squad from New Jersey in our first game. I had remembered seeing their team mentioned in a previous newsletter in that they had won several "C" level tournaments before. As expected, they were more of a mid-level "B" team and beat us 3-1. Thought that was a moral victory at least.

After the game, I was walking past the guy who scored the first goal against us. I tried to compliment him on a great one timer. He just kinda grunted at me. Decided to keep walking instead of contuining the conversation with Mr. Personality.

As I was near the exit, their goalie chased me down and started asking me about the glove I was using since he was thinking about getting it as well. Had a brief, but highly cordial conversation. He then mentioned that he was from Canada and was just a mercenary for the weekend.

So that made some amount of sense to me. Standoff-ish guy from New Jersey. Gregarious guy from Canada.

It reminded me of the fine motion picture that was Baseketball, where each team was comprised of regional stereotypes. Couldn't help but chuckle every time I overheard "Yo Frankie, I'm open!"

And our team held up our end as well, since we were mostly Asian guys.

We finished up pool play with two shutout losses against Washington DC (4-0) and Orange County (1-0). We beat a team from Edmonton 2-0 before getting eliminated by an LA team 3-2 in overtime.

Highlight of the this tourney was finally being teammates with my younger cousin. Growing up, we played plenty of street/roller hockey but never in a team environment. His parents were nice enough to sign him up for roller hockey. Mine.......well, not so much.

Best jerseys of the tournament had to be the plaid clad coed team from Calgary. Also helped that they had three very attractive women. They were definitely of the girl next door variety. And during a game, the cutest of the bunch was talking shit to the ref.

I was mildly aroused.

Edit:

chris: way to get a shot ALL GUYS from that plaid team in vegas.
me: yeah i only got a couple photos of that team
me: figured it wasn't covert to take a photo of the hot one
me: when she was on the bench as i was walking out

--------------------

Had one irrational moment as I was playing blackjack with my cousin, Joel, Bob, and EK. I had dropped $100 and bought in for an another $100. Rode the usual wave and wasn't making any strides towards recovering my money. It was about 4am when I decided to bet my remaining $103. My warped mind was okay with going down $200 or breaking even.

Sitting in the first base seat, the dealer immediately gives me an Ace. My next card is a beautiful King. Ship it.

After this, I started placing $1 for everybody on this "Pair Plus" sucker bet. Basically, you get 10:1 if you get dealt a pair initially (15:1 if your pair is suited). On a four deck shoe, you're 13.86:1 to hit, but doing sucker bets is so much fun! And we hit an inordinate amount of times. The first hand Bob got dealt 10s. At worst, it made for a better vibe as we quit at 5am (after several "one last shoe" declarations).

Eventually had $150 profit going before walking away with $100.

Unfortunately I gave that $100 back the next night. D'oh. I wholeheartedly blame the losses on the pair of foreign guys who sat between me, Do', and EK. Even the dealer was imploring one of them to hit on a soft 16--he would have made 21 and saved the rest of us.

One sign of how much Vegas is hurting was that the Bellagio was spreading numerous $10 tables (and even one $5 table) during prime hours. In past years, I remember having to play $25 a hand there.

But at least I didn't blow that $100 on table service.

When I was looking at the NHL standings a few weeks ago, I couldn't help but notice there was a common trend between each of the teams currently at the bottom of the league. Each of these teams basically f'd up in varying degrees at the 2003 NHL Draft.

And like wine, some Draft Years are just better than others. The last entry in my ill advised eponymous site before starting this one was about the 2003 NHL Draft. Experts were calling this the best draft in the last 25 years. My pal almost convinced me to fly to Nashville for the Draft.

The general rule of thumb is that you can't properly judge draft picks until five years later. The amount of talent is still staggering to this day:

1. Pittsburgh - G Marc-Andre Fleury - Florida owned this pick originally after winning the Draft Lottery. But the Panthers figured they could drop a couple spots and get their guy. And for some reason Pittsburgh was paranoid about somebody else trading up and taking Fleury, so they sent Mikael Samuelsson to Florida to swap spots. No reason to regret this pick yet, although one could have made an argument to selecting a forward in a pre-Crosby, pre-Malkin world. And how awful was the 2003-04 Penguins roster?

2. Carolina - C Eric Staal - Staal was the closest thing to a consensus #1 overall pick. So far the only member of the 2003 Draft to register a 100 point season along with hoisting the Cup in 2006.

3. Florida - C/RW Nathan Horton - The Panthers had Horton rated #1 overall. While in the hockey purgatory that is Miami, Horton has quietly put together a pair of 60 point seasons.

4. Columbus - LW Nikolai Zherdev - Blue Jackets' then GM Doug MacLean was a little too proud to show the media that Columbus had Zherdev #1 on their list as well. After a handful of enigmatic seasons, Zherdev was traded to the Rangers last year where he continues to show periodic flashes of brilliance.

5. Buffalo - LW Thomas Vanek - The question mark about Vanek was a certain xenophobia about him being Austrian (this would cause Anze Kopitar to drop in 2005) despite him being in the US for several years. The scouting report of him being a pure goal scorer seem right on the mark.

6. San Jose - LW Milan Michalek - A year earlier, people were touted Michalek as the favorite to go #1. His stock waned slightly as he "fell" to sixth. A popular thought at the time was that San Jose would select Ryan Suter, nephew of former Shark Gary Suter.

7. Nashville - D Ryan Suter - The host team instead took Suter, who has since established himself as a solid defender.

8. Atlanta - D Braydon Coburn - One of the debates prior to the Draft was who'd go first between Suter and Coburn. Coburn didn't develop as quickly as some of his other '03 draftees, which caused Atlanta to channel its inner-Milbury and trade Coburn to Philadelphia for the Artist Formerly Known As Alexei Zhitnik.

9. Calgary - D Dion Phaneuf - In hindsight, most folks wonder why Phaneuf didn't go higher. His powerful shot and punishing hits were noted, but his 02-03 stats weren't jaw dropping. Calgary's GM Darryl Sutter did have a pretty good source when it came to scouting Phaneuf however. Namely Phaneuf's then coach, Brent Sutter. Sud-dah Brud-dahs.

10. Montreal - LW Andrei Kostistsyn - Termed by everybody as the wildcard in the Draft. One publication had him rated as the #1 overall prospect. While Kostistyn probably won't ever justify being the tenth guy picked in this draft, he isn't embarrassing the Canadiens either.

11. Philadelphia - C Jeff Carter - This one was considered a mild reach at the time. Up until last year, Carter showed flashes of his potential but was continually fighting for ice time behind the likes of Forsberg, Briere, and fellow '03 pick Mike Richards. The Flyers were set to trade him to Toronto until Tomas Kaberle refused to go to Philly. Almost immediately after the failed trade was made public, Carter went on a tear and now sits 3rd in goals scored.

12. New York Rangers - LW Hugh Jessiman - LoL Donkaments! In defense of the Rangers, most "experts" had Jessiman rated around this area. Then again, the Rangers' brass proudly declared they had Jessiman ranked 4th on their board. Jessiman had a bad comic book nickname "Huge Speciman" since he was 6'4 and yet to fill out. Unfortunately for New York, Jessiman never developed into anything and they traded him for future considerations prior to this season.

13. Los Angeles - RW Dustin Brown - Another scouting service had Brown ranked as the 2nd best available forward. The Kings' current captain and western New York state native might look pretty decent as a Ranger....

14. Chicago - D Brent Seabrook - Like Carter, this selection was a little bit off the map but the Blackhawks landed a perfectly acceptable solid defender.

15. New York Islanders - C Robert Nilsson - Things were looking up for the hapless Islanders. After being the laughingstock of the league, they qualified for the playoffs for two straight years at this point. And then they lucked out as consensus top 10 pick Zach Parise (son of former Islander J.P. Parise) fell into their laps at #15! But instead they opted for Nilsson who had just broken Markus Naslund's record for most points by a rookie in the Swedish Elite League. And I honestly was hoping Nilsson might drop to the Devils at #22. Unfortunately for the Islanders, they would trade Nilsson only a couple years later to rent Ryan Smyth for two months.

16. San Jose - RW Steve Bernier - While the TSN commentators were still going off on the Islanders bypassing Parise, the Sharks quietly traded up to #16 from #21 to snag Bernier--they had a second first rounder as a result of the Owen Nolan deal. The Sharks brass would later mention how they wanted to get a couple of power wingers from this Draft to flank Patrick Marleau. After showing flashes of exactly that, Bernier was passed on the depth chart and dealt twice in the last year. But at least they still have Joe Pavelski who was selected in the 7th round.

17. New Jersey - C/LW Zach Parise - Almost immediately after the Bernier selection, Gary Bettmann announced that the Stanley Cup champion Devils had traded up to #17. TSN's Pierre McGuire was giddy with joy, declaring that this move was exactly what championship caliber teams do. At this point, two guys had fallen in Parise and Ryan Getzlaf. I personally wanted Getzlaf if only because he sounded like Jason Arnott who the Devils had traded a year before. But the commentators were so sold on Parise, plus Devils GM Lou Lamoriello had the largest smirk on his face as if he had just robbed a bank and gotten away with it. His NHL career started off rocky, but after switching to left wing it's been mostly smooth sailing. Parise has a chance to be the 2nd member of this draft class to register a 100 point season.

18. Washington - LW Eric Fehr - His career thus far has been delayed/derailed by injuries although he is now finding traction on a stacked Capitals club. But just imagine how sick the Caps would be with.....

19. Anaheim - C Ryan Getzlaf - ....but instead the Ducks were the other beneficiaries of a "top 10" guy slipping and slipping.

20. Minnesota - D Brent Burns - This one was a huge surprise, although Bob McKenzie alluded to the Wild possibly going way off the board to select Burns moments before it happened. Burns had just recently converted to defense and Minnesota saw something that most teams didn't. Now the slick skating Burns stands an outside chance of making Canada's 2010 Olympic team.

21. Boston - D Mark Stuart - The B's traded out of a chance at Parise and Getzlaf to grab Stuart who was hailed as a steady, stay at home defenseman. I'm sure they wouldn't mind a redo on that decision, but at least they landed Patrice Bergeron in the 2nd round.

22. Edmonton - C Marc-Antoine Pouliot - It was amusing a few years ago when incredulous Oiler fans still maintained they "won" the Parise trade which netted them Pouliot and J.F. Jacques. The Oilers braintrust wanted a bigger center (so why didn't they just draft Getzlaf?) so they happily drafted the 6'2 Pouliot who may finally crack the vaunted ten goal barrier this year.

23. Vancouver - C Ryan Kesler - Seems to have been accurately depicted as a good checking line center with some offensive skill. I remember seeing footage of their staff debating between Kesler and then assistant-GM Steve Tambellini's son Jeff. At least they made the right call between those two.

24. Philadelphia - C Mike Richards - Another one in hindsight were it seems like a no brainer that he should have gone higher.

25. Florida - RW Anthony Stewart - Tampa traded out of this spot as several teams were after Stewart. He was expected to go higher but there were concerns about his skating which have proven to be justified. The Panthers tried to get creative later, attempting to draft Alex Ovechkin four times during this draft. Ovechkin was two days too young to be eligible, but Florida tried to argue that the CBA defined a year as 365 days and thus if you counted leap days.....Ovechkin would be eligible.

26. Los Angeles - C Brian Boyle - Going into the Draft, Kings fans rejoiced that they had three first round picks, including numbers 26 and 27. The draft was deep that everybody expected the Kings to walk away with three impact players. But with this pick, they selected the mammoth 6'7 Boyle who has yet to earn a regular NHL spot.

27. Los Angeles - LW Jeff Tambellini - Coming off a point per game freshman year at the University of Michigan, Tambellini seemed poised to be like Jeff Friesen in his prime. Unfortunately he's played like Jeff Friesen past his prime. The Kings traded him prematurely to the Islanders, but Tambellini hasn't become a consistent scorer at the NHL level. And to rub the proverbial salt in the wound of the last two picks....

28. Anaheim - RW Corey Perry - ....crosstown rival Anaheim traded up to nab Perry. Dallas traded out of this spot, but still landed Loui Eriksson with one of the picks they acquired. Did you know Eriksson is on pace for 39 goals this season? 'Cuz I didn't.

29. Ottawa - RW Patrick Eaves - Was supposed to be a solid 2nd liner, but has been slowed by concussions. Traded last year to Carolina where he's still struggling.

30. St. Louis - D Shawn Belle - In 1999, the NHL found the Blues guilty of tampering with Scott Stevens way back in 1994. As part of the settlement, the Devils were allowed to swap first round draft picks once with the Blues between 1999 and 2003. Always felt like that was a weird punishment since the ownership/management in 1999 had nothing to do with the tampering in 1994. So the Blues fell back eight spots and drafted Belle who had the reputation of being a graceful skater but a mediocre hockey player. They'd trade him a year later. But the Devils also sent Mike Danton to the Blues at the Draft. Danton would give St. Louis a solid year before being arrested for trying to hire a hitman to kill his agent.

The second round was also littered with an unusual amount of talent. Along with Eriksson and Bergeron (45th overall), other impact 2nd rounders include: Matt Carle (47th) Shea Weber (48th), Patrick O'Sullivan (56th), and David Backes (62nd).

And in writing this, I could help but notice a correlation. If you look at the bottom of the standings, one common trend seems to be that each of those teams missed out on the smogasbord that was the 2003 NHL Draft:

Islanders - What if they had Parise?

Lightning - Traded down and netted next to nothing.

Thrashers - Prematurely dealt Coburn and dealt their 2nd rounder for Ivan Majesky who'd play one year for the team.

Avalanche - Sacrificed a chunk of their future to win a Cup with Rob Blake.

Senators - Traded Eaves in a package to rent Cory Stillman and Mike Commodore for a few months.

Coyotes - Traded their first two picks for Daymond Langkow and Brad Ference. Gretzky would later lament to Patrick O'Sullivan dropped that he would have gladly selected him, had the Coyotes possessed a draft pick.

Maple Leafs - Maybe they could have found use for Brad Boyes and Mike Richards instead of an aging Owen Nolan.

Kings - Along with blowing picks on Boyle/Tambellini, they'd also draft Konstantin Pushkarev right before Bergeron/Weber were selected.

Blues - Traded Belle at the 2004 Draft for goalie Jason Bacashihua who never caught on with the team.

It's not completely foolproof, as the Caps/Wings/Rangers also had disappointing picks but have remained competitive throughout the years. But it doesn't seem like a total coincidence to see these teams at the bottom when it typically takes 5-6 years for a player to hit his stride.

--------------------

1)

x=a-y or x=y+b
y=a-x or y=x-b

x=a-(x-b); x = 1/2(a+b)
y=a-(y+b); y = 1/2(a-b)

2xy=2[ (1/2)(a+b)*(1/2)(a-b) ]

2xy = (1/2)(a^2-b^2)

2)

Solving for Distance d:

d = x*t(x) where t(x) = time running
d = y*t(y) where t(y) = time walking

t(x)+t(y)=t

t(x) = d/x
t(y) = d/y

(d/x)+(d/y)=t

(dx+dy)/xy = t

dx+dy = xyt

d(x+y) = xyt

d = (xyt)/(x+y)

2009-01-13T22:22:00.000-08:00

Is it sad when watching the Devils is more like Christmas than Christmas is? I was super excited the night before and almost left milk and cookies by the fireplace.

Back when the NHL schedule came out in July, I emailed various folk to see if they wanted to go to the game. I thought I was lucky in that the game was on a Saturday as I skipped the last Devils/Kings game which was on a Monday. But I also realized at the time that it coincided with the 2nd week of the NFL playoffs and that I fully expected the Chargers to be playing. So there'd be a 50/50 chance that there would be a Chargers game that same Saturday.

So unlike in previous years when I'd buy tickets as soon as they went on sale, I waited to see how the Chargers would do. After they were 4-8 and needed a miracle to get into the playoffs, I felt pretty safe in getting tickets.

But sure enough, they made the playoffs and won their opening round game against Indianapolis. But the scheduling Gods were on my side as the Chargers game was set for Sunday thereby allowing maximum nerdiness.

Going to Staples Center quickly reminded me of why I kinda stopped going there and instead have watched more games at the Honda Center in recent years. Just the amount of driving in comparison to time actually spent in the arena doesn't feel very efficient.

The game was halfway over and I kept thinking "It feels like I just got here." Devils won handily 5-1, similar to the first Devils/Kings game I went to (more on that later). After I told my Kings' friends before the game that the typical New Jersey game is typically decided at even strength, the Devils scored three power play goals.

The first goal was directly off the faceoff and you couldn't even tell in real time that Travis Zajac tipped in the Jamie Langenbrunner point shot. When I got home, I watched the DVR replay....I was highly amused that when the goal happened, it was splitscreened with the Kings' obligatory female reporter interviewing a Playboy Playmate. You could tell Kings' play-by-play announcer Bob Miller was a bit annoyed when they cut back to him.

The nice thing with the $11.50 promotion was that the arena was full. The ambiance gets killed when it's a bunch of empty seats (insert 2009 San Diego Padres joke here). And even though we were sitting in the yuppy section, it seemed like most of the people around us were legitimate fans.

As usual, I couldn't help but mention random tidbits about certain players:

"#12 on the Devils is playing in his 1000th NHL game tonight."

"Kurt knows a girl that used to do #9's math homework in high school."

"#26 on the Devils almost died from Hepatitis that he got from eating bad fish in Russia."

"#12 on the Kings has a restraining order against his Dad."

One sequence at the end of the game which I highly enjoyed was the one boisterous fan sitting in front of me standing and cheering loudly when Matt Greene got a big open ice hit on Zach Parise. Unfortunately Greene totally put himself out of position and the Devils scored on the subsequent two on one. Causing me to stand and cheer loudly. The other guy proceeded to leave.

Nothing says Valentine's Day like Devils/Sharks. (It's an NBC game, would they actually show Avs/Wings or Flyers/Rangers instead?)

--------------------------

Bear with me, I was curious and wanted to catalog every Kings game I've attended.....not realizing I've been to at least 20. The really sad thing? I still have ZERO idea how to get to Staples Center without looking it up.

But since it's almost been ten years since my first game....couple games per year, that makes sense. I'm still mildly amazed that most of these games were from when I was in college......back when I shouldn't have had the money or the time.

For the record, I had to look up the dates and in many cases the final score.

Day - Visiting Team (Person(s) Who Accompanied Me) - Musings

10/20/99 - Boston (OJ) - This was my first NHL game. My previous attempts had been thwarted by my Dad who once opined that I'd get shot by gang members if I showed up to the Great Western Forum wearing the opposing jersey.

This game happened to be the first sporting event at Staples Center. The Kings christened the new building with a forgettable tie against the Ray Bourque led Bruins. While writing this, I initially thought the the Kings lost this game, but then I looked it up. I guess paying money to see a tie almost feels like a loss.

Only other notable memory from this game was running into my friend while trying to get into the building. I suppose being the jackass wearing a Red Devils' jersey made me stand out. Oh the days when I only had that one jersey.

1/23/00 - Colorado (OJ, Chris, Niki) - A couple months prior to this, I had sold a Transformer toy on eBay for $700. My Dad wanted the money since he was correct to assume I'd waste it on something frivolous. So I did the natural thing and told him I sold it for $300 and pocketed the remaining $400.

Used a portion of that to go to this game. The unnecessarily difficult thing about this game was that I agreed to pick up my UCSD friend in LA to bring to the game and subsequently back to campus--she had gone up for some party but didn't have transportation.

To make a long story short, she didn't have an exact idea of where she was aside that she was on Verdugo Street. We then learned that there is a Verdugo Street and a Verdugo Blvd in close proximity in Burbank.

And I'm ashamed to admit that I wore a Peter Forsberg jersey to that game. Why did I own that jersey? A: Because I got it cheap on eBay.

4/19/00 - Detroit (OJ) - Game 4 of the opening round of the playoffs and the Red Wings unceremoniously swept the Kings and won this game 3-0. This was the game where I learned the difference between a regular season crowd and a playoff crowd. Fights broke out....between Kings fans.

11/23/00 - New Jersey (OJ) - What a sweet, sweet game. First off, it was Thanksgiving night.....you know, when most people have dinner with the family. Not me and surprisingly my parents weren't mad. Also scored cheap lower bowl seats on eBay since people couldn't make this game.

Mathieu Schneider scored to give the Kings a 1-0 lead. The defending champion Devils scored the next six. Jason Arnott (center of the pic) and Scott Niedermayer held out for the first 20 some odd games and they signed three days before this one.

12/16/00 - Tampa Bay (Brad, Shannon, Brian) - Tampa jumped to a quick lead and held on for a 4-3 win. My one clairevoyant moment was telling everybody how the lowly Lightning would be pretty good in three to four years.

1/13/01 - St. Louis (Aaron, Ning, Niki) - Normal guys would bring one cute gal to a game, but I got greedy and brought two. I likely scared off both of them in that Aaron and I talked hockey throughout the three hour drive up and the three hour drive back.

Smooth.

Game itself stunk as the Blues cruised to a 4-2 win.

2/10/01 - Washington (Brian, Brad?, Armin?) -- Our friend Brian was going to graduate a year early and work in Washington DC. So he decided to become a Caps fan.

Washington won 4-3, this being in the midst of the painful Jamie Storr era. If I recall correctly, he spotted Washington a 3-0 lead and the Kings battled back to make it 3-2. Then Storr proceeded to let in a soft goal with less than a minute left in the second period. The immortal Steve Passmore replaced him to start the third.

There was the "I have to scream everything, all the time" guy behind us which was driving Brian crazy. During the third, he started screaming "PUT IN PASSMORE!!!!! PUT IN PASSMORE!!!!!" I turned around and told him "They already did.....god damn." Thankfully he was pretty quiet from that point forward.

3/26/01 - San Jose (Aaron) - I think this was the game which signaled the end of ever going to LA for a regular season weekday game. Despite leaving San Diego at 4pm, we missed half of the first period.

This might have been the worst game I've ever seen live. 0-0 tie.

Although I forget if this was the "Craig Johnson" game. The Kings used to a run a promotion where if a randomly selected player scored in the second period, everybody in the crowd could redeem their ticket for a free McFlurry.

"And your McFlurry player is........Craig Johnson." -- public address announcer
(entire arena groans)

Still one of the funniest things ever. Johnson was a defensive forward not known for scoring. Sure enough, he got a breakaway that period and.....missed.

4/15/01 - Detroit (Mary) - Mary was a Kings fan who I'd torment throughout high school when LA was a mess of a team. Still remember winning a bet and her having to wear my Brodeur jersey at school for a day.

It was Easter Sunday and the game had a peculiar 8:30pm start; I think the Lakers played a daytime game. It was game 3 against the Red Wings and Detroit was up 2 games to none, looking to sweep the Kings for the 2nd straight year. A late third period goal from Mathieu Schneider gave the Kings a 2-1 win.

4/18/01 - Detroit (Chris) - Shortly after I had gotten tickets for Game 3, Chris told me he got seats for Game 4. This was the "Frenzy on Figueroa" game where the Wings blew a 3-0 lead with six minutes left in the third period. Eric Belanger would score early in OT to tie the series and the Kings would win the next two games to eliminate Detroit. The video never gets old.

5/6/01 - Colorado (N/A) - I ended up not going to this game because I had to study or something. But I still enjoy the Ticketmaster snafu in purchasing these tickets.

Brad had left me his credit card since he was in class when tickets went on sale at 10am. I tried to order four tickets, but the Ticketmaster screen seemingly timed out. So I started over and this order got processed. Later I jumped in the shower when Brad got home and discovered I inadvertantly purchased eight tickets. I can't adequately describe how mad he was as he was screaming me at me while I was still in the shower.

The next thought was to eBay the seats as the game had sold out and other people were turning a nice profit. We were thinking this was a blessing in disguise since we might make enough to go to the game for free. Unfortunately by the time we put our extra seats on auction, the Avs jumped to a 3-1 series lead thereby killing demand. Fortunately the Kings won game 5 and a classmate of mine agreed to buy our extra seats at face value.
As for game 6, I remember being in the room studying while listening to the game. Kings won 1-0 in overtime as Glen Murray flung a seemingly benign shot on net which handcuffed Patrick Roy.

9/15/01 - Anaheim (Justin A, Chris R, Justin H) - I had bought eight tickets to throw a de facto birthday party. The one thing I hated about having a mid-September birthday while in college was that most of my Saugus friends had left for school but none of my UCSD friends had come back.

Unfortunately 9/11 happened and everybody was still shellshocked. Half my friends canceled, in particular one friend sayid her Dad wouldn't let her go anywhere that might conceivably be a terrorist target. I suppose that excuse was slightly more realistic than my Dad being fearful of me being gunned down by a gang member in a Kelly Hrudey jersey.

I vaguely recall the Ducks winning like 3-2. Being that it was preseason, I'm usually more interested in seeing the young players who might crack the roster. I was most curious to see Alexander Frolov's debut as he was the hugely hyped but mysterious prospect at the time. He was awarded a penalty shot in this game but didn't convert.

4/27/02 - Colorado (Brad, Brian, Armin) - First two quarters of Senior year of college were extremely hectic, so I don't recall catching any other games. Plus I think we had decided to save our limited funds for the playoffs.

Much like the previous year, the Avs jumped to a 3-1 series lead and the Kings won game 5. In game 6, the Kings won 3-1 to force a game 7. My one indelible memory of that game was when the Avs scored late to make it 3-1, this Avs fan jumped out of his seat, turned to the rest of the section, and angrily announced "THAT'S ONE!"

Everybody else just kinda look puzzled....like was he the Count from Sesame Street? Colorado wouldn't get any closer thereby sparing us from "THAT'S TWO!" and presumably "THAT'S THREE!"

12/19/02 - Anaheim (Lam) - My cousin grew up a Ducks' fan thanks to Paul Kariya. The only thing distinctive about this game was having lower bowl seats and wearing Santa hats. The hats made it easy to spot us when we rewatched the game later, plus it gave us a novelty item to throw in case somebody scored a hat trick.

1/25/03 - New Jersey (Lam) - My memory seemed to have conveniently blocked out this game. I recall going the previous night to see the Devils beat the Ducks 3-1.....if only because Aaron got pulled over on our way back to SD. Since he got pulled over in Orange County, he had to do traffic school in Orange County.......and I forever drive 65 mph whenever I'm near Capistrano.

Anyways, re-reading the article quickly jogged my memory as I now remember where I was sitting. Ziggy Palffy wripped a wrist shot that beat Brodeur glove side in OT. Still remember drunk Kings' fan getting in my face after the game. "DEVILS SUCK!!!!!"

Five months later: Stanley Cup, biatch.

Also in this game was a minor, but cool trick. Sergei Brylin got hit and he lost his stick which slid towards Tommy Albelin. Albelin then passed Brylin's stick like a puck....and Brylin caught his stick in stride. The entire crowd gave an "Ooooooooh." You probably had to be there to appreciate it. Actually, I haven't seen this again maybe because I think it's actually a penalty to shoot an errant stick like that....

1/13/03 - San Jose (Aaron) - We bought our seats off this guy on eBay who had the two seats next to us. He chose to bring his adorable nephew who was decked out in a Kings jersey. If only my childhood was like this.......

But other than that, I had no idea how this game ended. I thought I could narrow down the date since our seats were right behind the Sharks bench I distinctly remember the ugly defensive pairing of (*shudder* and future Devils) Dan McGillis and Jim Fahey. McGillis was traded to the Sharks in December of '02 and then dealt to Boston in March of '03. But alas the Kings hosted San Jose three times in that span and I have no recollection of how the game ended.
But in going through photos from this game, there's a "MON 4, CGY 2" on the out of town scoreboard which helped me pinpoint the exact date. Jason Allison apparently scored the game winner in overtime beating rookie Miikka Kiprusoff.

11/25/03 - New Jersey (Dad) - Had Premier Seats for this one and front row seats for the Ducks game the next night. Brought my Dad to his first hockey game.....which he seemed to enjoy while wearing my Kings' Deadmarsh jersey. Devils won handily 4-0 as the Kings were missing their entire top line of Deadmarsh-Allison-Palffy.

The next night was a 3-3 tie in a Stanley Cup Finals rematch against the Ducks. All I got with these glass seats is an awful photo of Vinny Prospal celebrating, with me 80% cropped out with my cousin celebrating while wearing one of the many awful Anaheim 3rd jerseys.

9/17/05 - Anaheim (lot of folks) - Our floor hockey group had been planning the annual Frozen Fury trip to watch the Kings/Avalanche in Vegas. I spotted a deal where if you ordered a ticket for Frozen Fury, they'd toss in a free ticket to this preseason game.

This was another de facto birthday thing for me, so I got a handful of folks to go that normally wouldn't come. One of those was one of Kurt's college roommates who we picked up in Orange County. Unfortunately for him, his wedding was in a few months and his fiance decided to call it off literally the night before. So the rest of the car was treated to a very awkward thirty minute phone call between him and her dad. (The wedding was eventually canceled)

Also at this game was the only time I ever met my friend Rob in person. We had both been in a competitive Fantasy Hockey league since 2000 where both of us were typically #1 or #2 and we got to be good pals. I sent him extra goalie gear for his kids to use and he helped me out when I had been mail frauded by some guy in Buffalo. Unfortunately he died in a boating accident several months after this.

On a less grim note, this was also the Travis stalker game. The Monday after this game, I logged onto the Kings' fan site where I had purchased the tickets. I notice one post being like "Who was that cute guy in Section 216, Row 7, seat 14?" I pull out my ticket stub and sure enough it's exactly that seat. But since we had twenty concurrent seats, I didn't actually sit in that one.

"Lame, she's probably is looking for Travis."

Just to play along, I posted the group photo to confirm to the gal I knew who she spotted. Probably not the smartest thing to do on a public forum as other posters commented "Well, it's obviously not the Asian guy" as they were trying to deduce who she was trying to find.

Unfortunately, since that section was more or less reserved for people that had purchased Frozen Fury tickets from the site, the girl (and her cohorts) knew we'd be in Vegas the following weekend. And the site only had a couple sections in Vegas, so they kinda knew where to find us.

They would later tell me they found Trav, but only by looking for me first. I guess an Asian guy at a hockey game sticks out like a sore thumb. Wish there was some other wild story to tack on, but Trav just took a photo with the now very embarrassed girl at the behest of her friends.

12/10/05 - Florida (Kurt) - Scored some nice seats courtesy of Steve S. The Kings dominated the lowly Panthers for a 3-1 win. Nothing else notable other than running into the stalker girls again.....and they still recognized me.

12/17/05 - Phoenix (OJ) - My only time in a luxury box as OJ got a couple seats through his work. Kings won 4-1, I had a hot dog, and there was much rejoicing.

1/7/06 - San Jose (lots of folks) - I recalled absolutely nothing from this game from a hockey standpoint. I did remember telling Shira that I had heard "Chinese Democracy" would be released shortly. Oops.

According to an old blog entry, the Sharks won 3-2 in OT after tying the game in the waning moments of regulation.

---------------------

Last year's Celebrity Death Pool: 1 death, 366 days
This year's Celebrity Death Pool: 2 deaths, 2 days

---------------------

Time Warner crapped out and only a handful of channels were coming in tonight. So I caught the end of Jeopardy and saw some of the strangest and seemingly illogical wagers ever. Unless they've changed the rules recently and non-winners get to take home their final cash amounts.

Contestant 1: $11,200
Contestant 2: $10,400
Contestant 3: $12,400

Those are the totals going into the final clue of Double Jeopardy which happens to be a Daily Double to Contestant 3. To me, the main strategy here would be to maintain the lead in the case you got this question wrong. So a wager of up to $1,200 would make sense if you're playing conservative or if it's in a category you're not confident in. But if it happens to be a category you're feeling confident in, then it's understandable to make a sizeable bet. I almost think the amount to wager is independent to the category in this case.

The guy proceeds to bet $1,600. What is the upside to that bet?!? You get it right and you don't open up that big a lead. You still have to wager a large amount to protect against 2nd place undoubtedly betting everything in Final Jeopardy.

And the downside......you give up the lead?!? The guy proceeds to get it wrong, so heading into Final Jeopardy:

Contestant 1: $11,200
Contestant 2: $10,400
Contestant 3: $10,800

Logically to me, Contestant 1 has to wager at least $10,401 to protect against Contestant 3 doubling up. Contestant 3 has to hope Contestant 1 misses in any case, but also has to protect against Contestant 2 from doubling up. So a wager of at least $10,001.

Contestant 2 has the most freedom as she knows what both guys have to wager. She's at the mercy in that she likely needs both guys to get it wrong or for both to miscalculate their bets. As long as I'm not playing for the parting gifts, I'm either wagering $1 or $10,000 here depending on how I feel about the category.

The category was something about royalty. They reveal the answers in reverse order, so Contestant 2 gets to go first. She answers correctly and her wager is $5,600. I wasn't quite following the logic on that bet. If she backdoors the victory by everybody missing, she's either getting $4,800 or $16,000 depending on her getting it right. But like I said, she had the most freedom.

They reveal Contestant 3's response and he gets it correct. But then he wagered $4,200 for a final total of $15,000. Where the hell did $4,200 come from? I figure he wasn't feeling very confident in the category, but you PLAY TO WIN THE GAME. If he made the proper $10,001 wager he'd be be in the lead with $20,801.

Contestant 1 (defending champion) is the only one that makes a logical wager ($10,500) but he answers incorrectly dropping him to third place. So Contestant 2 wins despite making an odd wager and Contestant 3 loses by screwing up not once, but twice in a row on bet amounts.

Old and busted: Candy and Flowers
New Hotness: Figure Four Leglock

2008-12-26T19:34:00.000-08:00

Another year and I all I have to show for it is these good looks.

I hate myself. I was subbing for ice hockey and a fight broke out. A third guy jumped in, then a fourth. Before you knew it, all ten guys on the ice were paired off with equipment everywhere. The refs had their hands full pulling apart the players. The recipe was there for me to fight the opposing goaltender.

I looked down to the other end of the ice, but didn't have the heart to skate his way. The refs took like ten minutes to sort out the penalties, since fighting is an automatic one game suspension. I ended up talking to the other goalie and he was a pretty cool guy (outside of being a Broncos fan). It's too bad I didn't know him beforehand, else we could have "fought" for comedy's sake.

Earlier in the game, we were killing a penalty and an opposing player did the "Avery" to me. Seemed a bit childish, then again he was sporting "666" as a jersey number. I believe his girlfriend was also awkwardly heckling us. "I'm gonna take a picture of you losers" she screamed. So I did the natural thing and posed with a real big smile while waving.

Gradually breaking in my new pads, this was my first game using separate knee pads while taking off the attached thighboard. Definitely felt better, although I tweaked my groin while running a few weeks back and it doesn't seem to have gotten any better.

Made a Brodeur on Hull save (gotta love Pandolfo water skiing on Modano and not getting called for hooking), although it would have been entirely preventable if I hadn't left an ugly rebound in the first place.

I was having dinner on Black Friday with my cousin and explained why the 4-7 Chargers had a legitimate shot at winning the AFC West. I told him that all that had to happen was the Chargers going 3-1 while the Broncos went 2-2, which would set up a winner take all season finale. I theorized that the Chargers would beat Atlanta, Oakland, and KC while losing on the road against Tampa. Whereas the Broncos would likely lose on the road against the then 8-3 Jets (who had just handed Tennessee their first loss) and on the road against Carolina.

A few days later, the Chargers could lay a turd against Atlanta while Denver had a convincing win in New York. "Likely" suddenly became "well, the Chargers are at least mathematically alive."

Mix in a miracle finish against KC while Denver dropped one at home to Buffalo....and the basic scenario I told my cousin happened.

The Broncos had an insane number (7) of injured running backs which couldn't help but remind me of when they drafted Maurice Clarett with a late third round pick in 2005. Clarett hadn't played football in a year due to NCAA violations and looked terrible at the NFL Draft Combine. Denver took a chance on him based on his stellar freshman year at Ohio State, but ended up cutting him a month after signing a four year contract.

The Chargers picked Darren Sproles 29 picks after that. Meanwhile the next two running backs selected after Clarett were Marion Barber and Brandon Jacobs.

Forgot I had this.

--------------------------

In 7th grade, we were divided into "teams" which was basically a euphemism for keeping the smart kids away from the troublemakers. "Hart" was the natural landing spot for the nerds, "Pals" was for the performing arts kids, "Search" had a supposed emphasis on computers, and "Explorers" was generally all the dumb kids and wannabe gang members.

Chris, myself, and a handful of other reasonably smart kids landed in Explorers. You had to "apply" to be placed on a team after 6th grade. Being that I liked computers, I applied for Search and later received a pamphlet informing me I had been accepted. I show up first day at junior high and I'm instead an Explorer.

The one time I got called to the principal's office was when the cops were looking for a classmate of mine and the school happened to have our yearbook photos mixed up. I still remember the confused "You don't look like a Pedro" look on their faces.

In the past, I jokingly remarked that I assumed many of my Explorer-mates are either dead or in prison.

Unfortunately that joke might be closer to reality as a former classmate is being accused of being a serial rapist. Chris alerted me of the story and immediately asked if this was the guy we used to make fun of in 7th grade PE.

We dug out our yearbooks and sure enough it was. Don't remember much about the guy aside from him not knowing the rules for various sports. Still recall having this conversation:

"You know a shot in basketball is called a field goal right?" -- me being a smartass
"No it isn't, I'm not stupid." -- him....not knowing basketball terminology

--------------------------

Last week, we conducted our annual Celebrity Death Pool for the calendar year of 2009. Things actually went pretty smoothly as everybody did research, unlike last year when we mostly shot from the hip.

Guang had several obscure picks--in terms of their celebrity status--like the oldest living Munchkin from the Wizard of Oz.

Chris not being able to stay for the entire draft, and instead agreeing to have the remaining twenty members of the original nWo. The nWo has been a rather fertile breeding ground for this sort of thing: Miss Elizabeth (2003), Curt Hennig (2003), Rick Rude (1999), Big Boss Man (2004), Crush (2007), and Louis Spicolli (1998).

I used a pick on Jake "The Snake" Roberts again this year. There's a movie that's been getting fairly good reviews called The Wrestler which is based on the recurring stories of pro wrestlers being addicted to painkillers, alcohol, steroids, etc in order to maintain their lives.

Another friend selected venerable car dealership owner Cal Worthington which spawned the greatest slow clap I've ever participated in.

Doing the Draft in mid-December left a small chance that somebody might die before 2009 even started. Basically the debate was whether the points should count or if that person would get a compensatory selection, but we decided "Tough luck." But this seemed a remote possibility as we were collective 1 for 125 in all of 2008, what are the chances of somebody dying in the next 12 days.

Sure enough, it happened. At least in future years, we can refer to "Harold Pinter" rule.

--------------------------

Prior to the Draft, we did a gift exchange. I'm not sure what it says about me, but I received two copies of The Love Guru along with 3 Ninjas - High Noon on Mega Mountain.

Personal highlight of the gift exchange was pulling off "Dick in a Box" on somebody. After I gave everybody else their gifts, I casually mention "Oops, Danette, I left your present upstairs." At which point I cranked "Dick in a Box" and became one with the box.

"I'm not opening that." -- Danette

After some amount of coercing, she finally opened to find ~~my junk~~ a Russell Martin jersey shirt. I had the previous night trying to figure out how to affix the box to my crotch. Attempts to rig a belt or use tape proved to be unsuccessful. Then I found my Swiffer duster which extends and bends at a right angle. Stuff that down my pants, insert into box, and voila!

And in case you haven't seen it, definitely check out the followup to "Dick in a Box": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4&feature=related (also available in HD)

The Devils are playing the Kings in a couple weeks and I decided to splurge and get Premier seats. Basically had the same ones when I last saw the Devils vs LA in 2003. Ended up paying about $60/ticket on eBay, which was pretty good considering seats in the upper deck were $45 (and decent lower bowl seats were $110) after Ticketmaster charges. A few days after I won the auction, the Kings announced a promotion where all tickets for January home games are $11.50 (~$19 after surcharges). This angered me to no end.

But at least a handful of other friends have decided to join me and scored Premier Seats as well. These yuppy seats are usually sold for $20,000 per which includes all Lakers, Clippers, Kings, Sparks, and...Avengers game. So usually these are bought up by companies and given to clients, so you tend to get people in those sections that could care less about the game.

These seats also provide access to a private restaurant, since it's not a hockey game unless I get some lobster.

--------------------------

Christmas Eve was productive. Drove Yvonne up to her uncle's in Cerritos and made a pit stop at the Carlsbad Outlet mall where I bought a suit at Banana Republic for $135. All these years I was wearing one of my Dad's old suits. Being that I'm three inches taller and 25 pounds heavier, I was probably due for a suit of my own.

Got to Cerritos where I had one of the most eclectic meals ever. First course was a roasted turkey followed by a plate of sashimi followed by catfish. This along with side dishes of cabbage, tofu, and other things which I could not identify.

After that, I dropped by Christie's parents' place in Placentia. Christie gave me some crap for not greeting her parents with the proper Vietnamese "Chào bà/chú".....as if "Heyyyy, how's it going?" isn't formal enough.

Had dinner with Christie earlier in the week in SD and we dropped by the local Mervyn's. It was quite a sad sight to see the place barren even though I never willingly shopped there. Growing up in Saugus, we didn't have a local mall until like 1992. So during elementary school, any time I needed clothes my Mom would drag me to Mervyn's.

Christie's Mom wondered when the last time I was at their house (it was 2000) and I remembered being there in 1999. Why 1999? Because Christie's little brother had just seen Wild Wild West in the theater. I really don't know why that stuck around the memory banks.

Concluded the day at my sister's place, just in time to read my niece a bedtime story. I did not know that Blue from Blue's Clues was a girl dog.

--------------------------

Christmas with the family was alright. I've gotten jaded over the years since my parents simply don't try to give me a thoughtful gift. This year, I had a little bit of fun with theirs:

"What am I supposed to do with this?" -- Dad
"PLAY CATCH, LIKE WE NEVER DID WHEN I WAS YOUNGER!" -- me, putting my baseball glove on

This exchange drew a nice amount of laughter from my sister's friends. My dad proceeded to put the glove on the wrong hand, leading to the easy "No wonder we never played catch, you don't even know which hand it goes on."

Since I was exorcising some childhood demons with my Dad's gift, I thought it was appropriate to do something similar with my Mom's. In like sixth grade, everybody had to build a pyramid. I was never great at arts and crafts, so I made a pretty terrible one. My Mom told me point blank that it was terrible, made one herself, and made me turn that in. I had it in my closet for years and I always hated how it represented "you're not good enough."

(On a side note, that pyramid assignment was bullshit. One girl shows up with this huge wooden pyramid which opens up to show several rooms along with an Indiana Jones-esque boulder which rolls down when somebody enters the throne room. I only had construction paper. What the fuck?)

Sometime in high school, I was upset with my Mom over something and I decided to take it out on the pyramid. Took it out of my closet and stomped on it Office Space style. I remembered my Mom brought this up in conversation a few years back, as if it still bugged her that I destroyed it because she made it with her best intentions.

So my primary gift to my Mom was a Barnes and Noble gift card, but I made a pyramid to house it. Sadly, my arts and crafts skills have not progressed in the last seventeen years.

Although I was highly amused that I had to apply the Pythagorean Theorem at midnight to construct this thing. x = √(900-225) ~ 26.5. I was working with a finite amount of paper, so I had to be precise!

Didn't engender quite the same response as my Dad/baseball glove, but it was amusing to me nonetheless.

It almost killed me, but I think I've finished the damn Muppet CDs. Thanks to the numerous folks who helped me gather/select songs. I also stumbled on a nice program which downloads YouTube videos and can convert them to several different file types including mp3.

I just hate myself for buying CD-Rs instead of CD-RWs because I keep running into new songs that I feel like I need to add, thereby requiring a new CD burned along with a new label. (Edit: Happened again after the original posting of this entry)

The most eerie one happened on the drive to my sister's on Christmas Eve. I was lamenting that I couldn't find a logical spot for a Jimmy Eat World song since that's one of the recipient's favorite bands. And literally three seconds later on KROQ, they play a Jimmy Eat World cover of Wham's "Last Christmas." Good god, Christmas song and it can fit on the Gonzo or Bunsen/Beaker CDs.

Anyways, here's the final *knock on wood* track listing:

Kermit
--------
1. Kermit - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
2. Michael Jackson - Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
3. Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
4. New Kids On The Block - Step by Step
5. Color Me Badd - All 4 Love
6. Milli Vanilli - Girl You Know It's True
7. Boyz II Men - Motownphilly
8. The Pixies - Here Comes Your Man
9. The Proclaimers - I'm Gonna Be
10. Travis - Happy
11. Beck - Guero
12. Beastie Boys - Ch-Check It Out

Miss Piggy
----------
1. Miss Piggy - The Christmas Queen
2. Belinda Carlisle - Heaven Is A Place On Earth
3. Madonna - Into the Groove
4. Paula Abdul - Opposite Attract
5. Mariah Carey - Someday
6. Britney Spears - I'm a Slave 4 U
7. Fergie - Fergalicious
8. Rockell - In a Dream
9. Bjork - Human Behavior
10. Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone
11. Natalie Imbruglia - Torn
12. Lisa Loeb - Stay

Fozzie
----------
1. Fozzie - North Pole Comedy Club
2. The Simpsons - See My Vest
3. Mitch Hedberg - The CD Jokes
4. Sarah Silverman - I'm F*cking Matt Damon
5. Jimmy Kimmel - I'm F*cking Ben Affleck
6. Team America - End of an Act
7. Stephen Lynch - If I Were Gay
8. Demetri Martin - The Jokes With Guitar
9. Chris Rock - No Sex In The Champagne Room
10. Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake - Dick In A Box
11. Weird Al - White and Nerdy
12. Monty Python - Camelot

Janice
----------
1. Garbage - Push It
2. Luscious Jackson - Alien Lover
3. Elastica - Never Here
4. Veruca Salt - Seether
5. Hole - Miss World
6. Alanis Morissette - You Oughta Know
7. No Doubt - Happy Now
8. Liz Phair - Fuck and Run
9. Paramore - That's What You Get
10. Lacuna Coil - Our Truth
11. Evanescence - Call Me When You're Sober
12. Fiona Apple - Criminal

Rowlf
----------
1. Rowlf - The Christmas Party Sing-Along
2. Billy Joel - Piano Man
3. Elton John - Rocketman
4. 10,000 Maniacs - Because the Night
5. Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting
6. U2 - New Year's Day
7. Van Halen - Right Now
8. Michael Andrews featuring Gary Jules - Mad World
9. Fastball - Out of my Head
10. Ben Folds Five - Song for the Dumped
11. The White Stripes - The Denial Twist
12. Biz Markie - Just a Friend

Gonzo
----------
1. Jimmy Eat World - Last Christmas
2. Violent Femmes - American Music
3. Cake - Is This Love (live)
4. Radiohead - House of Cards
5. Muse - Falling Away With You
6. Depeche Mode - It's No Good
7. Green Day - Paper Lanterns (live)
8. Weezer - The World Has Turned and Left Me Here
9. Hum - Stars
10. Goldfinger - Here In Your Bedroom
11. Sum 41 - In Too Deep
12. MxPx - I'm Ok, You're Ok
~~12. Weezer - Across the Sea~~

Electric Mayhem
----------------
1. Electric Mayhem - Run, Run Rudolph
2. Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party
3. Save Ferris - Come On Eileen
4. Spring Heeled Jack - Jolene
5. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - The Impression That I Get
6. The Aquabats - SuperRad
7. Less Than Jake - The Science of Selling Yourself Short
8. Reel Big Fish - The Set Up
9. Squirrel Nut Zippers - Hell
10. Incubus - Summer Romance
11. Dave Matthews Band - Crush
12. Brian Setzer Orchestra - Sleepwalk

Statler & Waldorf
------------------
1. Led Zeppelin - Over The Hills and Far Away
2. Johnny Nash - I Can See Clearly
3. The Beatles - Ticket to Ride
4. Jimi Hendrix - Voodoo Child (live)
5. Eric Clapton - Layla
6. Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
7. Pink Floyd - Another Brick In The Wall
8. Peter Frampton - Baby, I Love Your Way
9. The Knack - My Sharona
10. The Clash - Police On My Back
11. The Police - Every Breath You Take
12. Aerosmith - Walk This Way

Rizzo
---------
1. Run DMC - Christmas in Hollis
2. Young MC - Bust a Move
3. Paperboy - Ditty
4. Us3 - Cantaloop
5. Nas - If I Ruled The World
6. Ice Cube - It Was A Good Day
7. Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg - Nothin' But a G'Thang
8. Notorious B.I.G. - Going Back to Cali
9. Cypress Hill - Dr. Greenthumb
10. Warren G - Regulate
11. Jay-Z - Can I Get a....
12. Lil Jon & The Eastsize Boyz - Get Low

Swedish Chef
--------------
1. Swedish Chef - Christmas Smorgasbord
2. ABBA - Dancing Queen
3. Europe - The Final Countdown
4. Roxette - Joyride
5. Ace of Base - The Sign
6. The Cardigans - Erase Rewind
7. Eagle Eye Cherry - Falling In Love
8. The Hives - Main Offender
9. Millencolin - Fingers Crossed
10. (International) Noise Conspiracy - Up For Sale
11. Division of Laura Lee - Black City
12. Refused - New Noise

Animal
----------
1. Primus - John The Fisherman
2. 311 - Don't Stay Home
3. Oasis - Supersonic
4. Smashing Pumpkins - Geek U.S.A
5. Unwritten Law - Rescue Me
6. Deftones - Digital Bath
~~6. Soundgarden - Fell On Black Days~~
7. Alice In Chains - No Excuses (unplugged)
8. Sublime - Waiting For My Ruca (live)
9. Nine Inch Nails - Only
10. Rancid - Journey To The End of East Bay
11. Nirvana - Sliver
12. Guns N' Roses - Rocket Queen

Bunsen and Beaker
-------------------
1. hellogoodbye - Winter Wonderland
2. Foo Fighters - Everlong (acoustic)
3. Johnny Cash - Hurt
4. Dirty Vegas - Days Go By (acoustic)
~~4. Frente - Everytime I See You Falling~~
~~5. Dynamite Hack - Boyz N The Hood~~
5. Slightly Stoopid - I Would For You
6. Presidents of the United States of America - Radio Killed The Radio Star
7. Failure - Enjoy The Silence
8. Linkin Park - My December (remix)
9. Korn - Freak On a Leash (remix)
10. Metallica - Devil's Dance (w/symphony)
11. The Moops - Build Me Up Buttercup
12. Me First and The Gimme Gimmes - I'll Be There

2008-12-10T21:52:00.000-08:00

Apologies to the faithful readers on this insipid site, most of whom either live with/down the street from me.

Nothing terribly exciting to note of late, this being a typical "I spent how much in Vegas? I guess I can sequester myself in the house for awhile" kind of lull.

------------------

Thanksgiving was pretty low key as I went back to my folks' place in Saugus. On the way up, I picked up other family members who don't speak English. Combine that with my inability to speak Vietnamese and well, you get an awkward thirty minute car ride.

My Dad has the AT&T U-verse TV package which happened to be doing an all-inclusive free preview. This gave us access to eleventy billion terrible movies. Suffice to say, I almost stayed up to 3am to watch "Cool As Ice" starring Vanilla Ice.

After Thanksgiving dinner, the everybody gathered around to watch a movie. Naturally we ended up watching "Snakes on a Plane." I was giddy that the movie's unintentional comedy transcended language barriers.

Despite not spotting any good deals, I accompanied the family for Black Friday shopping. The highlight being witnessing one near parking lot accident complete with shouting match instigated by the wrongful driver.

Later met up with my cousin for further shopping which proved to be in vain as I have/will be returning 90% of what I bought since I found it cheaper this past week.

Mildly funny in the 'you had to be there' category....my cousin was looking through shirts and explained "I don't mind buying this for her, this girl is nice." The potential Freudian slip was in reference to my propensity to get gifts for undeserving gals. We had a good laugh as he backtracked with "No, no, that's not what I meant."

Aside from that, spent most of the weekend hanging with the folks. Taught my mom how to use the Internet with extra bonus fun in arguing with my Dad who was against using Firefox because he had no idea what Firefox was.

Also had time to go through my old baseball/hockey card collection. Found some other goodies in the box which had been neglected for almost ten years:

Unopened copy of Twister from Grace for Xmas '98, which I brought back to SD with me. I was vacuuming the living room this week and my roommate said "I really hope this is a prelude to us playing Twister."

Numerous hats from over the years. The odd ones are the Tampa Bay Lightning and Florida Panther ones which I picked up at a Kay-Bee outlet in Victorville circa 1996 for $2 or $3. Probably got the Blackhawks one in homage to Jeremy Roenick.

The Twins one is by far the oldest, I got it at some Asian swap meet in 1992. Chili Davis was my favorite player growing up and he got traded to Minnesota in 1991. Jumped on that bandwagon in time for that World Series. I still remember being at my cousin's house in San Diego when Davis hit a home run off of Tom Glavine in game 2.

The next bandwagon I jumped on was those same Braves. I got that hat in time for a 7th grade field trip to watch them play the Dodgers. At the time, I thought Steve Avery was better than John Smoltz and Tom Glavine. I suppose that's why they don't let eleven year olds be talent evaluators.

Also in 7th grade, I got that Miami Hurricanes hat......if only to fit in. One of the resident cool kids challenged me to name any other Hurricane player other than quarterback Gino Torretta. I meakly squeezed out one other name which allowed me to dodge the "poser" label. Perhaps this is the moment where my "You have to know every obscure player" knowledge got jump started.

The Padres one was from 1996 when I disowned the hometown Dodgers for the ~~steroid led~~ Ken Caminiti led Padres. My Dad took me to the final game of that season when the Padres swept the Dodgers to win the division when LA only needed to win once to clinch. Fast forward twelve years and Caminiti is dead while the Padres are a punching bag. Would I rather pay Jake Peavy 11 million this year or Jason Marquis 4.8 million.......I'm gonna go hang myself.

As for the baseball cards, I found a handful of cards which engendered giddy laughter:

I incorrectly thought Bill Bene was the first openly gay baseball player (probably the mustache) but that was actually Bill Bean. And that's not to be confused with current Oakland Athletics GM Billy Beane.

Roger Salkeld was a star pitcher at Saugus. 6'5 with a 96 mph fastball, and with his name you couldn't help but think Roger Clemens. My 7th grade PE teacher was also a local scout for the Mariners who would take Salkeld 3rd overall in the 1991 Draft. Naturally I was excited in the "he's from where I'm from" sense and got a handful of his first issued baseball card. My sister was a classmate of his sister as well, so I had a potential connection to get the cards autographed. But he struggled in the minors and had arm problems. D'oh.

Being that the bulk of my baseball cards were from 1986-1992, I found a handful of "top prospect" cards for players who by now have had distinguished careers and are either winding down or have retired. Mike Mussina, Chipper Jones....and Maurice Vaughn amongst others.

And also in the box was my collection of hockey cards, mainly from 1996-1998. Amongst the personally amusing ones in this batch:

Esa Tikkanen on the Devils is pretty hilarious. Tikkanen started the 95-96 season with the Blues for eleven games. St. Louis then traded him to New Jersey for a 3rd round pick on November 1st. He played nine forgettable games for the Devils before getting dealt to Vancouver on November 23rd for a 2nd round pick. If I'm a card company, why do I produce a Tikkanen Devils card? And huzzah for rookie #22 Patrik Elias.

Another rare one in the same vain is Ed Belfour on the Sharks. San Jose felt like it was ready to contend and needed a veteran goaltender, so they dealt for impending free agent Ed Belfour. Belfour tanked in his thirteen game stint but San Jose made a contract offer which Belfour seemed amenable to signing. Dallas reportedly made a similar offer and Belfour jumped ship and won a Stanley Cup two years later, thus earning hate from my roommate Aaron to this day.

When I started collecting hockey cards, I ramped up my knowledge about upcoming prospects. Going into the 1997 Draft, Adam Colagiacomo was almost mentioned in the same breath as Joe Thornton. Maybe it was just the fun of saying his name (COAL-A-JACK-CAH-MO), but I was highly excited when I pulled his prospect card out of a pack. He had a disappointing season but many figured he was still late first round material. He ended up dropping to the 4th round to San Jose and never made it.

--------------------

Roughly 1/3 through another NHL season and I haven't become a raging alcoholic because of the Martin Brodeur injury. On top of losing their future Hall Of Fame goalie, the Devils went through a stretch without Brian Rolston and half their regular defenders. The low point was when the Devils called up defenseman Jay Leach and even I had no idea who he was.

"He's like a cross between Jay McKee and Brian Leetch."
"Yeah, the offensive abilites of Jay McKee and the shot blocking prowess of Brian Leetch."

So sipping the Devils Kool-Aid, they look to be competitive. Brodeur getting a chance to rest might end up being a good thing as he's looked burned out the past two playoff runs. Still feel like the Devils are one offensive minded defenseman from really contending. Although looking at who might be available who won't cost an arm and a leg......sadly I might have to talk myself into Derek Morris as being that sort of guy.

My other favorite subplot of the season is the predictable turmoil in Tampa Bay. Just one look at their new owners and I couldn't help but think "Are they trying to be an even lamer version of the Maloof Brothers?"

They already have two former coaches lashing out at them and a former GM who resigned rather than deal with the situation. Reminds me of the 2005 Penguins and how some people thought they were Stanley Cup contenders after they brought in familiar names like Ziggy Palffy, John LeClair, Mark Recchi, Jocelyn Thibault to go along with rookie Sidney Crosby. Only this time, replace that with Radim Vrbata, Gary Roberts, Recchi, Olaf Kolzig, and Steven Stamkos.

But at least somebody made a good parody video of them signing Ryan Malone to a 5 year contract. Then they hold Ottawa hostage by threatening to sign Andrej Meszaros to an inflated offer sheet that the Sens couldn't match, leading to an eventual trade.

And what did they get for overhauling their roster like some kid with A.D.D. would do in a video game? Hey hey, they're still dead last in the NHL.

Went to my friend's company's holiday dinner. Interesting party in that there was a kids' table and the organizer had a hat decorating station to keep the kids occupied. There were hot glue guns, ribbons, fake flowers, random figurines, etc etc.

But the odd thing was that there was a random stack of hockey cards from 1991. (I swear, I did not bring them) Being a dork I decorated my hat with the old school Devils: Peter Stastny, Slava Fetisov, Alexei Kasatonov, Sean Burke, Chris Terreri, Kirk Muller, and even Brendan Shanahan. And I snagged a Scott Stevens card from the one year he was in St. Louis.

Awkward conversation with one of my friend's coworker's wife:

"Where are you from originally?" -- coworker's wife
"I was born in Hong Kong, but came here when I was three." -- friend
"And what about you Don?" -- coworker's wife
"I was actually born in San Diego." -- me
"Really? You look very Asian to me." -- coworker's wife

2008-11-10T23:09:00.000-08:00

Reacquainted myself with the hassle that is last minute Halloween costume shopping.

I had an idea--perhaps not coincidentally as I was showering while looking at the NPH poster that Yvonne placed on the opposite side of my clear shower wall--to attempt The Ambiguously Gay Duo. But figured it'd be a waste to only go as one half of the duo.

Travis had previously offered to let me borrow one of his more elaborate costumes which would have required me driving to Vegas due to sheer size. The idea of driving back tired and solo seemed like one of those decisions that would precede a fiery death, so I eventually opted to fly. After plopping too much cash on a flight, I decided to recycle the crazy 88 costume from a couple years ago.

-----------------

My friend Sarah had floated the idea of going to Vegas a few months ago for her birthday. I had ~~conned~~ persuaded her to push it back a week so I could have combined my Nor Cal trip with Vegas into a continuous ten day block.

For some reason hotel costs were extremely high as I couldn't quite understand what was going on in mid-October. Out of curiosity, she checked prices for Halloween weekend which were significantly less expensive.

-----------------

I got to the hotel around 5pm on Friday night, but everybody else got in first thing Friday morning. To kill time, they agreed to do a timeshare meeting which sounded like something straight out of South Park.

They were promised a free meal, free tickets to Zumanity, and $300 in table credits in exchange for listening to the sales pitch.

Instead they received crackers/apples, discounted tickets, and 100 slot credits at designated slots in the Casino Royale. And one pull on a slot equaled five credits.
When we met up, I was in high spirits while the four of them seemed quite annoyed, frazzled, murderous, etc. Gave my best "Cheer up, it's Friday night and you're in Vegas" pep talk to get the gang going.

We decided to do dinner somewhere in the MGM and then walk on over to NY/NY to redeem the "free" show tickets. Steve and others had raved about craftsteak while other friends deemed it good but forgettable.

The menu presented four filet mignon options: $56 for the USDA prime, $115 for the American Kobe, $180 for the Australian Kobe, or $240 for the Japanese Kobe. Each of the Kobe options also had a rating system right out of Spinal Tap: The American was graded 8, Australian 10.....but the Japanese one was a 12. Gotta love arbitrary scales from one to twelve.

Sarah and Daniel ordered the non-Kobe, so I was curious to see if there was any discernable difference and ordered the American Kobe. Swapped bites and mine was maybe a teensy bit better, but not worth the $50 difference. The Ruth's Chris Filet still was the most mindblowing for me. The waiter was heavily pimping the cheaper skirt steak; And after the fact, now everybody who I had talked to said that was the best cut. D'oh.

After redeeming the "free" tickets, we took a cab to Caesar's to check out how crowded Pure would be.....and yeah, ginormous mass of people trying to get in. Overheard one ~~douchebag in a suit~~ bouncer say that it would cost $90 to get into the "VIP" line which consisted of several hundred costume clad individuals.

Strolled on over to the Mirage to check out Jet which produced similar results. By then, everybody was ready to drink so I suggested going to the Beatles' lounge. Less of a hot spot but no cover, no line....

Decent vibe with some room to move around--played blackjack with a guy who had just come out of Jet and he said it was unbearably crowded. Daniel intended to dress as Bret Michaels but since he was wearing a Slash shirt, everybody assumed he was Axl. But we ran into a chick dressed as Slash....meanwhile I had given thought to go as Buckethead.

After a couple hours, we decided to go gambling. Daniel hit up the craps table, Mark did roulette, and the girls wanted to do blackjack. Checked out the Mirage poker room briefly, but there was a waitlist so I did blackjack as well.

Blackjack was surprisingly profitable, although I suppose surprising is always implied if it is profitable. Gave the girls a crash course on how to play....mostly when it was okay to stay on 14 or when to hit on 16. Lively table as there was an old Filipino man to my left who was giving unintelligable instructions to the girls. He'd also high five/fist pump with every successful doubledown and blackjack.

Beautiful sight to get aces, split, and then be dealt a Jack and a Queen. Give that man his money!

I was up $175 at my highest point when Gina couldn't locate Mark, who wasn't carrying his phone. So the girls got off the table to go find him and I was prepared to leave but they implored me to keep playing. Proceeded to dump most of it back as the dealer got three consecutive blackjacks. Still was up $50 when I eventually left.

At around 2, the gals headed back to the hotel and I decided to do the (limit) poker thing. First hand I get J-10 and make the call. Flop: 10-9-6. Bet, couple people call. Turn is a 6. Bet, get one lady caller. Now I'm a bit worried she has the 6......river is another 10. I bet, she calls and turns over pocket 9s for the lesser full house. In my head I'm thinking "Calling station to my left" and "I don't like hitting two outers on my first hand."

These two guys from South Carolina stroll in. One of them notes that they sat at a blackjack table for six hours and that nobody would sit next to them for more than ten minutes because they were so obnoxious. It was common when both were in the same hand, they'd reraise each other before the flop until it got capped no matter who else was in the hand. This was during a time when I kept getting dealt 3-7.

South Carolina #1 (SC1) raises preflop. I call with A-10 in middle position. SC2 calls amongs others. Flop: A-7-4. SC1 bets, I raise, SC2 calls, everybody else folds. Turn: Q. I bet, SC2 calls. River: J. I bet, SC2 raises....I mutter "youmotherfucker" and call. SC2 proudly declares "I WENT RUNNER RUNNER" and flips over Q-J.

It was a small victory as he'd dump all his money over the next hour, unfortunately just not to me.

Was card dead for most of the night, but at least they had decent music going. While Metallica was playing, the dealer lamented that he wish they had released some of the "classic" Metallica songs for Rock Band. He then identified "Until It Sleeps" as one of the "classic" songs. I should have gone Barry Zito on him.

Called it quits around 6am as I had negated my blackjack winnings.

Woke up the next day and turned on the TV to find Saved by the Bell. And it's the episode where Mr. Belding's younger brother is the substitute teacher. Sadly I remember the last time I saw this episode was Halloween 2005 while I was waiting for Judy to get ready. Oh yes, the true reason I maintain this silly site: To remember shit like this.

After a quick lunch they made one more attempt to recoup the $300 in table credits from the timeshare people, I instead got a massage. We walked through the Fashion Show Mall, Wynn, Palazzo, and Venetian before ending up at the Bellagio buffet.

They went and watched Zumanity while I headed back to the room to attempt a power nap. Instead I was a couch bum while watching Texas/Texas Tech. An amazing finish as Texas Tech got a go ahead touchdown with one second remaining. Their dumbass fans ran onto the field too early resulting in a 15 yard penalty which would be assessed on the kickoff. After the extra point kick, their dumbass ran onto the field again resulting in yet another penalty.

So with one second left, Texas Tech kicked off from their own 7 yard line. Even though I wanted to see Texas lose, I really wanted to see another Cal/Stanford band moment with overzealous fans running onto the field while the play was still alive.

Heard one good story from a cab driver when I asked him what was the craziest/funniest thing he had seen as a cab driver. He said recently he was taking four guys somewhere when one of them asked if he could pull over, presumably so he could vomit.

Cab driver pulls over, guy walks out and is followed by his friend who proceeds to punch him in the stomach. The guy starts puking his brains out while his friend goes off on a rant "You always fucking do this back home!!! We're in Vegas for Christ's sake, grow a set for once!!!"

Cabbie noted that everybody in the car was laughing their ass off and that "Every group needs to be that take charge guy."

-----------------

A different cab driver mentioned that he recently had a passenger confess to cheating on his wife but that he was trying to rationalize that it didn't count, since he cheated on her with another man. Cabbie was feeling a bit uncomfortable so he pulled the generic "So how 'bout them Cubs?" as a conversational U-Turn.

I asked if he was a baseball fan and he said "Actually I'm a diehard hockey fan." Couldn't help but do the "I know I'm a doofy looking Asian guy but I really do know my hockey" spiel as we geeked out for the duration of the ride. Mostly discussed how his team (guy from Ohio who likes the Canadiens? That's as stupid as somebody from Southern California liking the Devils.) was one of the favorites in the East. When we started talking about New Jersey, he noted that "they'll go as far as Brodeur will take 'em." I then mentioned that the ESPN bottom line had a blip about how Brodeur got hurt and left the game.......which turned out to be a torn bicep, adios for 3-4 months.......

Also had a brief chat with an older fellow who was rocking a Blackhawks Bobby Hull jersey. Saw a guy walking in a Sharks shirt and I was tempted to yell out "Sharks suck!" And if the guy turned around, I'd do my poor Dale impersonation "No, actually, they are quite good!"

Vegas is also a vaccuum for people, including myself, to bring their awful trendy clothing. Years ago, it was all about wearing Under Armour for no particular reason. Now every drone has Ed Hardy and Affliction shirts.

I did enjoy being at a mall last month and seeing two confused guys looking at Ed Hardy shirts. Each of them had this "Why are these tee shirts $60? Dammit, but everybody else has them" expression on their faces.

Although who am I to judge? Later that afternoon, I held my friend's shopping bags as she tried on Louis Vuitton bags. Does anybody know where I turn in my man card?

After they left Zumanity, they got "VIP" passes to Rok Vegas which was the new club at the NY/NY. Naturally the pass promised that the ladies get in for free while guys get a "reduced" cover.

Got a bit of a late start as we got there around 10:30--late as in the gals were going to call it a night around 2/2:30. We entered the "VIP" line which I noticed was all women so I thought to myself how long it would take for a ~~douchebag in a suit~~ bouncer to kick the guys to the general admission line.....

(about 20 seconds)

Not to my surprise, soon after a different club employee approaches us about purchasing bottle/table service. He laid out the particulars: After tip, one bottle would be ~$400. It would cost $90 ($30 apiece) for cover and one bottle could produce anywhere from 18-24 drinks ($10+ apiece). So for a little more, we could bypass the slowly moving line and have a place to sit while we were inside.

While me and the guys debated, the gals went in the club to scope the place. The expression on their face was full of meh, but by then it was already 11. The new douchebag in a suit then noted that if we tried to go anywhere else, we'd just be faced with a similar dilemma except better clubs charge $600/bottle and would likely require us to buy two.

Hated to do it, but we agreed and made our way towards the entrance. This is the point where the uber bouncer informs us that we'll need to buy two bottles. The douchebag in a suit then tries to play good cop by offering us "if you buy two, I'll throw in the third for free." I immediately give the "Fuck no" head gesture and start walking out figuring they needed our business regardless and would relent. And they did. So retarded.

Club itself was typical. Didn't think they incorporated their 360 degree screen very well. Not a ton, if any, attractive gals about and it didn't help that Sarah was there as a barometer. Overzealous dude on the dance floor inadvertently made it rain with his drink as we quickly retreated back to our table.

There was a trio of chicks at the table to our right. Highlight of the evening was them dancing on the sofa and then completely eating it when coming down. The ECW fan in me wanted to chant "YOU FUCKED UP!" Turned out they were from Santa Clarita.

After we left, I immediately hated myself for brainfarting and not remembering Body English. Beforehand I had suggested the Voodoo Lounge but it had been sprinkling for most of the night, so the motivation for an outdoor club was diminished.

Sunday was quite relaxed as I waited for my 6:20pm flight. We gambled for a bit at the Planet Hollywood before I made my way back to the hotel. Thought I was cutting it close as I got to the airport around 5:10, but the security line for my gate was no more than a minute.

Unknown to me, one of the runways had been shutdown so every flight across the board had been delayed by 2+ hours. Now I wasn't feeling so bad about not booking a later flight.

While I was wasting time at a bar watching the Patriots/Colts game, I overhear several people asking "Is that Mike Tyson?" I look over......yup. I could have asked for a picture, but he might have said "Fuck you, Piston Honda" and punched me in the nads.

2008-10-29T00:21:00.000-07:00

In September, I was a bit distressed when I walked into a Costco and they already had Christmas displays. Being that my mind wanders with a purpose like Jimmy from The Wizard, I already have some ~~idiotic~~ ~~unnecessary~~ gifts ideas that are cheap and thoughtful......as opposed to my usual expensive and immediately forgettable.

This would be for a friend who obviously loves the Muppets and Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist where mixed CDs were a catalyst for the plot.

The one in particular that I'm having a bit too much fun with is a set of ~12 mixed CDs. Each CD would be represented by a different character from The Muppet Show as a pseudo theme. For instance the Miss Piggy CD would feature female vocalists, the Kermit CD would have unabashed happy songs, the Fozzy CD would be comedy songs/bits, etc etc.

I was also saddened when I immediately assumed Rowlf would be the Muppet to represent the Rap CD. I looked up his character and he's a piano player who enjoys classical music. I simply assumed he'd like rap because his fur is brown. Racism exists even in the context of Muppets.

Several guidelines that I have with the CDs:

A) Don't repeat any bands.
B) Avoid an overplayed hit if at all possible.
C) No Aerosmith. I hate Aerosmith.

---------------------

In a slightly unrelated note, a few months ago 91X was running a "90's Weekend" and Danette felt it necessary to inform me of this while making fun of my rapidly outdated music tastes.

To help me think of potential artists/songs for the CDs, I looked up the old KROQ top 106.7 countdowns from past years. It was a sad stroll through memory lane.

Growing up in Saugus, we only had Star and a couple classic rock stations. We couldn't get KROQ clearly unless you drove five miles south on the freeway. There was a shortlived alternative station Y107 that seemingly was on air for a matter of months.

So I was somewhat dependent on MTV to tell me what was cool. Thinking about it now, perhaps it was Kennedy on Alternative Nation that made me start digging chicks in glasses.

I had a good friend Jon during the early years of high school. His parents were divorced and he'd live in Seattle during the summers with his Dad. Back then, he'd be a few months ahead of the curve in terms of hearing about bands since we were in the middle of the era of grunge dominated bands. In particular, I remember him introducing me to The Presidents of the United States of America before "Lump" became popular.

I was excited when I finally got to college since I'd finally have a local rock radio station. But man, looking back at those countdown lists and it seems like my first year of college coincided with when rock went into a precipitous fall.

---------------------

So back to the Muppet CDs. I think I've settled on the following, but I definitely could use suggestions:

Kermit - Happy songs
Miss Piggy - Female lead singers
Fozzie - Comedy
Gonzo - Unrequited love
Animal - Hard Rock
Scooter - Nerd Rock
Rowlf - Piano-centric songs
Rizzo - Rap
Electric Mayhem - Ska/Swing
Statler/Waldorf - Classic Rock
Dr. Bunsen/Beaker - Remixes/Covers
Swedish Chef - Swedish artists

My first thought with the Swedish Chef CD was "All ABBA" but then I remembered the awesomeness that is Ace of Base. So I went searching for other Swedish artists and managed to wrangle up nine more: Europe, Roxette, The Cardigans, Eagle Eye Cherry, The Hives, Millencolin, The (International) Noise Conspiracy, Refused, Soundtrack of Our Lives.

----------------------

I do need some help rounding out the Fozzie CD. Since I'm not allowing myself to repeat artists, which one Weird Al song should I use? After listening to a handful, I've come to discover that his 80s parodies haven't held up well with time much like UHF.

So far I have a Stephen Lynch, Dick in a Box, Adam Sandler and I'm sure I'll find a spot for Demetri Martin and Mitch Hedberg. Probably will find a spot for a Team America song, Uncle Fucker, and a Simpsons one ("See my Vest"?). Maybe Chris Rock....cornbread, ain't nothing wrong with that.

----------------------

The piano based songs have been a little hard to come by as well. "The Denial Twist" by The White Stripes and "Song for the Dumped" by The Ben Folds Five are givens. But after that.....I might have to use the guilty pleasure that is Richard Marx.

The ska CD has also been a bit tough. I have a handful of Reel Big Fish. I have a Less Than Jake track ready to go. I could shift Save Ferris and No Doubt from the Miss Piggy CD onto this one.

So I spent a good hour listening to bands like Catch-22, The Aquabats....but again, I could use some suggestions and/or mp3s. Danette has provided me several bands to investigate as well.

I was delighted that I found one ska band named "I Voted for Kodos." All the good Simpsons references seem to be taken already, usually by crappy bands--Looking at you Fallout Boy. I remember being disappointed when we were thinking up band names and I discovered that several bands had already staked claim to "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."

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I hate Halloween.

2008-10-15T22:59:00.000-07:00

When you're on a holiday
You can't find the words to say
All the things that come to you
And I wanna feel it too

I had 4+ weeks of vacation to use up before the end of the year. Wheels were somewhat set in motion for potential trips to New York, Toronto, Seattle, Mexico......Middle Earth.

But my more elaborate plans all got dashed, so I opted for the usually low maintenance long weekend in Nor Cal.

Had one outstanding offer from an old college friend to use a guest room at her house. Had another friend who's visited me a couple times in SD offering to play tour guide if I ever visited. Then I even convinced one of my friends down here to fly up and allow me to leech housing from her...and even borrow a car when needed.

I've got the dungeon Master's Guide
I've got a 12-sided die

I've got Kitty Pryde
And Nightcrawler too
Waiting there for me
Yes I do, I do

Not that it speaks well for my hockey nerdiness, but I planted the seeds for this trip in July when the NHL schedule came out. I saw that the Sharks were playing the Kings on opening weekend, which was a game I'd be willing to pay to see.

Meanwhile I knew that NHL Center Ice always has a free preview the first week, so if I crashed at my friends' places, I could conceivably watch the Devils as well.

I contacted my old lab partner about watching the Patriots/Chargers game. This prompted a somewhat sobering conversation in which he said sure depending on approval from his wife. A short time later, he asked if I could ask his wife for him.

Out of curiosity, I checked Ticketmaster to see which bands were playing that weekend. I spotted Weezer, who I hadn't seen since Warped Tour '99.

Around the same time in August, I met some friends of friends in Vegas. After exchanging photos, one of the gals gave me the customary "If you're ever up in Nor Cal, give me a call." And then I saw she listed Weezer as one of her favorite bands.

I commenced to put on Bad Idea jeans.

Why bother? It's gonna hurt me
It's gonna kill when you desert me
This happened to me twice before
It won't happen to me anymore

I bought the concert tickets first, just in case the show sold out. I kept delaying on plane tickets since my SD friend wasn't sure when she wanted to leave and she was already preoccupied with another trip. In the interim, I pretty much had all five days mapped out.

When she got back, I pressed a little harder to book tickets since the cost was quickly rising. Then she pulled a Carlos Boozer and canceled on the trip despite weeks of reassuring me that she would go. Thus leaving me to book flight, hotel, and car on short notice.

Then two of my friends I planned on visiting were sent away for work. Did my best to salvage the entire weekend, but it seemed like I just simply chose a bad time to go.

The party pooper in me thought about canceling completely despite already having concert tickets. But I did as Dusty would do and tried to make the best of the situation by flying up primarily for the concert even though it had began as a supplemental event.

I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good

Just before I left for the trip, one of my friends up there asked if I'd want to go to the Weezer concert because one of friends flaked. This was a friend who was somewhat dismissive when I contacted her about hanging out. I suppose I couldn't be too mad about only being invited in this circumstance, since her reasoning for not mentioning the concert outright was likely similar to me doing the same.

But regardless, it felt immensely satisfying to say "I'm already going."

The trip had an inauspicious start. At airport security in San Diego, I dropped my ghetto phone and broke the on/off trigger. I had to remove the battery prior to the flight to turn it off and now had no ability to turn it on again.

After checking into my hotel, I immediately left to fetch a new phone. Since I wasn't renewing a plan, I got reamed on the price. If I were feeling more pretentious than usual, I could have waited for the forthcoming Google phone.

Went back to the hotel intending to sneak in a quick nap since I only got four hours of sleep before the flight. Turned on the TV and was surprised to see ALCS game 3......it really does seem odd that they'd broadcast this game at 4:30 EST.

I also caught one round of Family Feud (oh I miss daytime TV) where the category was "Things that Go Up." The expected cavalcade of responses were there: Balloons, Gas Prices, Escalator. But I wasn't expecting #5: "Mr. Happy."

I wonder what clothes you wear to school
I wonder how you decorate your room
I wonder how you touch yourself
And curse myself for being across the sea

Turned to ESPN between innings and saw a disturbing blip on the bottom line crawl: New York Rangers 2007 first round draft pick Alexei Cherepanov, 19, dies from heart attack during Kontinental (Russian) Hockey League game.

In February, 19 year old Calgary draft pick Mickey Renaud died after having a heart attack off the ice. In June, prospect David Carle had to withdraw his name from the Draft after he was diagnosed with a heart defect. In 2005, Red Wings defenseman Jiri Fischer had a heart attack on the bench. He survived but had to retire.

Isaac bought me Martin Brodeur's autobiography for my birthday and I just happened to use it as reading material for the plane ride. There was a chapter describing the 2004-05 NHL Lockout in which many players chose to play in Europe. Brodeur mentions that he got an offer to play in Russia which he rebuffed for a handful of reasons.

One of which was how NHL veteran Sergei Zholtok died from a heart attack during a game in November of 2004. Brodeur was part of a touring All-Star team that played a handful of teams in Europe. He noted that when they played Zholtok's Russian League team, the trainers on Brodeur's team had to help one of the Russian players since they didn't have a medical staff on hand. This led him to question the quality of available medical care available to Zholtok.

So it was sad as I would later read that similar deficiencies were still apparent with Cherepanov's passing. Reportedly the ambulance that was at the game had already left before the game ended. And then it took 10-15 minutes for another one to show up.

The sad thing was that Cherepanov had become the poster boy for the ongoing struggle between the NHL and Russian Hockey Federation. Currently, NHL teams send back a set amount of cash to foreign teams as compensation for signing their players. The Russians got a bit tired of seeing their most talented players leave for the NHL. Recently drafted Russian players have to jump through a few more hoops in order to come to the NHL.

Just kinda sad to think what if he had been playing in the NHL instead if this would have been preventable.

It's just the thought of you
In love with someone else
It breaks my heart to see you
Hanging from your shelf

After sneaking in a mini-nap, it was finally time to head out for the show. Despite my friend Emily running late, we decided to do a sit down dinner and forgo the opening band (Tokyo Police Club).

I avoided repeating "The Barry Zito Girl" incident when she mentioned she was into punk rock like Fallout Boy. Basically determined that I can keep my composure unless it submarines Kurt. In which case, it's fuckin' hilarious.

We arrived in the middle of the Angels and Airwaves set. The music wasn't awful but it certainly wasn't noteworthy either. Lead singer Tom DeLonge told the crowd "We're Angels and Airwaves, from San Diego." I yelled back with an unenthusiastic "Yeah, you're from where I'm from. Now finish up."

Emily was exponentially more crazy than I had anticipated. Before the show, I had asked if she was the type to want to try to get close to the stage. She said definitely. Little did I know that it was like her personal mission to get up as close as possible.......with or without me.

Immediately after the Angels and Airwaves set, the entire crowd converged to the front. Lost her in the mass of people while getting playful text messages telling me to shove my way past people to find her. Spent the entire time during the opening song ("My Name is Jonas") weaving my way but I eventually uncovered the needle in the haystack.

I never considered myself a diehard Weezer fan, but I fully geeked out 11/10 during the show. They played a good mix although I would have loved another song off of Pinkerton ("The Good Life" would have been acceptable) and of the songs from the latest record, they ommitted "Dreamin'" which was the one I really wanted to hear.

I underestimated the amount of "moshing" which would occur. Weezer just didn't strike me as a band where I'd have to worry and I had gone to more intense concerts wearing sandals with no problems. I say "moshing" since it was mostly teenagers stepping on my feet. Got elbowed by one douchy guy, but I got him back later with a solid "accidental" hip check for which I got a dirty look.

For the first encore, they trotted out some locals with various instruments--kudos to the person behind me who yelled out "SAX-A-MA-PHONE, SAX-A-MA-PHONE" as Rivers was introducing the Saxaphone player. After playing a couple songs, everybody exited as a roadie propped up a record player which played "Heart Songs." Not particularly a fan of the song, but it was definitely a cool effect for it to be pitch black with the spotlight on a record player.

And for the second encore, one of the band members kicked over the record player and immediately jumped into a cover of Nirvana's "Sliver."

After a handful of notes of the opening bass riff, I completely marked out, jumped up and down, and screamed with approval. Everybody within a 100 person radius of me was dead silent with a confused look on their face because they didn't know the song. And I'm not accentuating it by any means, check out the posted video as opposed to the fan reaction of the same show for any of their other songs.

Then again, who am I to judge? I didn't realize one of their other unfamiliar songs they played was in fact a Pink Floyd cover.

// getting off high horse

Edit: I didn't realize this until just before seeing Weezer in San Diego, but the Nirvana cover was more deliberate than I had realized. In "Heart Songs" there's a lyric about Nevermind which is the point when Rivers kicks over the record player as the band jumps into the "Sliver" cover.

The show in San Diego was a carbon copy of the San Jose show in terms of the set list. Perhaps I didn't realize it at the first show, but Rivers deferred a good portion of the singing during the SD show. There was some extra stage banter when Tom came out for "Undone" where Rivers thanked him (implied blink182) for picking Weezer as an opening act in 2000 when they were "in oblivion."

Kurt said he spotted this semi-cute girl sneak a look at me. Unfortunately if guessing her age were a Price Is Right game where they provide one of the digits, the first number was most definitely a one.

There were three guys in front of us that were a little too into the show, ie giving each other awkward high fives between songs. And I hate to stereotype, but one of the guys looked like he just got out of prison last week......and to see him make the "W" sign with his hands repeatedly provided a high dose of unintentional comedy.

Since the set list was the same, were able to GTFO ahead of everybody else and thus able to beat traffic. // end edit

By the end of the show, my outer shirt was completely drenched and I was fairly certain that 85% of the perspiration was not mine. The damage to my feet wasn't too bad.

Tell me there's a logic out there
Leading me to better prepare
For the day that something really special might come

Tell me there's some hope for me
I don't want to be lonely
For the rest of my days on the earth

Checkout from the hotel was at noon and I wasn't meeting with my friends for dinner until 6:30. I debated driving to EastWestHockey in San Carlos, but figured I'd die a little on the inside if I did that. And after blowing a couple hundred on the replacement phone, I was in need for some cheap time filler.

Opened my wallet and found an unused voucher for an AMC movie. Figured it was a good enough excuse to catch Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. I enjoyed the movie, gave me hope that one day I will be able to find an awkward but attractive girl who would make love in the middle of a recording studio but only after letting me jam on Jimi Hendrix's guitar. Olympic white on white *drool*

And you people think I'm picky.

Since I was unfamiliar with the freeways, I headed up to Mountainview early just in case I got lost. Showed up early enough to watch ALCS game 4 and had wings/fries even though dinner was shortly thereafter.

Met up with college friends for tapas under some time constraint as to make it back to the airport.

God Damn You Half-Japanese Girls
Do It To Me Every Time

So next up on the docket is planning for Halloween in Vegas for Sarah's birthday. Seems prerequisite that I show up in costume, I'm just debating which one. Travis has offered to let me borrow one of his finer contraptions, although that would require driving out of here. Simple idea would to be a "Dick in the Box" guy although I'm sure that's been done. While it would be personally amusing to me, the thought of dressing up as X-Pac probably isn't the best idea.

2008-10-03T00:35:00.000-07:00

"Do you know where we're going? We're going to a wedding." -- me to my 3 year old niece
"I was flower girl." -- niece who was flower girl several months ago
"And you can be flower girl at my wedding." -- me
"She'll be 15 by then." -- sister

Older Cousin had two wedding ceremonies this past Saturday, a traditional Vietnamese one in San Diego and then a reception in Orange County.

The traditional Vietnamese one involves everybody from the groom's side walking in procession (while carrying dowry-like items) to the bride's family's house. I hadn't participated in one of these since I was a kid and the only detail I remembered was carrying a roasted pig.

So I was all psyched about carrying the pig, but alas the relatives who actually purchased the pig got the honors. As they were passing out the mystery containers, one of the groomsmen asked me if I minded carrying one of the heavier items. I picked it up and other than it being hot, it didn't seem that heavy.

Unfortunately we had to stop for like five minutes as the bride's family wasn't ready to open the door. Suddenly a hot and heavy 15 pound item in a large container without any natural grips was becoming a bit of a struggle. It was also draped in nice fabric, so I didn't want to admit my wussiness and set it on the ground.

So we finally get to the door and there's an extra wrinkle to the whole process. The groom's side has to appease the bride's side by doing random acts. The requests were simple as having my cousin scream "I LOVE YOU" to the more random "Somebody provide a beat and my cousin has to improvise a rap about his soon to be wife." The whole process took another few minutes as my back was about to give way. The last act was somebody had to eat a spoonful of sriracha (hot) sauce.

Finally we get inside and they open up the mystery boxes. Mine ended up being cooked rice. For some reason, that was completely underwhelming.

I would describe the rest of the ceremony, but it was performed in Vietnamese, so I had zero clue about what anybody was saying. But the gist of it was the extended families introducing one another.

Certainly would like to consider doing a traditional ceremony if only for my folks. Speaking of which, they drove down to San Diego at 5:30am on Saturday morning to make this portion of the ceremony. I had offered for them to stay at our place on Friday night. Kurt came up with a great photo op, essentially he would be playing catch with my Dad and I'd be in the background. And my Dad would have the caption "You're the son I never had."

Reception was good, I spent a bulk of it keeping my niece out of trouble. When she wasn't running around exploring, she was dominating the dance floor. My younger cousin and I failed to rehearse any songs beforehand. We probably couldn't have topped the rendition of Lionel Richie's "Hello" however.

Still love this song to this day, but part of this video always bugged me. At the 2:30 mark, there's a montage of a couple bands under the same label. Another Bad Creation, I had their cassette growing up. Then there's Sudden Impact....who?

Cashed in some Karma points as my roommate got free Chargers tickets through work. Nosebleed endzone seats provided a great Madden Video Game type of view, although the back of the near endzone was obstructed.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, but there were a large number of Brett Favre jerseys. Some Jet ones, some Packers ones, and one guy even had a Southern Mississippi one.

Then there was the guy who taped over his Chad Pennington jersey.

There was a row of New City Firefighters sitting in front of us. One of whom was wearing a Jets Brett Favre jersey that switched to a Chargers Philip Rivers jersey in the 4th quarter.

Game was fun as the Chargers shook off two unimaginable losses to blow out the Jets 48-29. The halftime entertainment was mariachis and dancers. As they were clearing off the field before the start of the second half, Chargers punter Mike Scifres started warming up. One of his kicks came up short and hit an exiting mariachi in the back.

A random person getting hit by a punted ball is funny. But replace a random person with a mariachi and a funny situation always gets the hilarity amplified. I also screamed out "THE BAND IS ON THE FIELD!" Too bad nobody got the reference.

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Birthday karma struck again as my friend was allotted $150 to use on Padres' tickets by her company. Their account wasn't refundable, so they figured why let it go to waste. So we got a pair of first row seats on the ~~yuppy luxury box~~ second level.

Unfortunately the game was Padres/Pirates, the matchup of 2 of the worst 4 teams in all of baseball this year. But figured it'd be the last chance in six months to put on the Peavy jersey shirt and eat overpriced food at the ballpark.

I'm not sure why exactly I overhear more dumb comments at baseball games than other sports. Perhaps because there is so much downtime in baseball as people will yell incoherently at football and hockey games.

Anyways, the obligatory questionable "analysis" from the evening came from a pair of snarky twenty somethings sitting behind us. They were already on my bad side when they started misquoting The Simpsons. Adrian Gonzalez came up to and the scoreboard flashed:

"Adrian Gonzalez's 118 RBIs this season are the most by any Padre since Greg Vaughn. (119 RBIs, 1998)"

Alpha Snarky Guy muses "118 RBIs? That's why they're in last place." Not that RBIs are the greatest stat (see 2005 Andruw Jones vs. 2005 Derrek Lee), but Adrian's final season total of 119 was good enough for 3rd in the National League.

Padres. Losers.

Me. Winner. At least at fantasy baseball. The rest of this post will be me being an inglorious bastard about how I ~~won~~ ~~dominated~~ annihilated both of my leagues and will use the $625 in prize money on something immeasurably dumb.

And the added bonus is that Kurt finished a distant second in both leagues.

In our twelve team mixed league, I got amazingly lucky with free agents during the course of the season. I was fairly confident with my batters, but I knew my pitching staff had some problems with guys like Dontrelle Willis, Jeremy Bonderman, and Pedro Martinez.

"I can't believe that trade involved two All-Stars." -- Kurt

Before the season started, I traded one of my sleeper picks Justin Duchsherer to Danette for Brian Wilson. Since I needed another closer, I figured Wilson would give me 30-35 saves with average ERA/WHIP. I was optimistically hoping Duchsherer would have a solid ERA in the 3s while having a low WHIP based on his last season as a starter in the minors.

Two weeks into the season, Danette decided to drop Duchsherer and I immediately claimed him on waivers. Before suffering a season ending hip injury, Duchsherer pumped in 140 innings, 10 wins, 2.54 ERA, and 1.00 WHIP.

And despite him missing the last two months of the season, he was still ranked as the 13th most valuable pitcher in all of fantasy baseball this year. And there were rumblings from Kurt and G-Will that I had pulled a fast one on Danette.

Meanwhile, Wilson exceeded expectations with 41 saves. And I can't describe the joy I derived every time Kurt couldn't celebrate a Giants win because he hated the fact that I was about to get a save out of it.

"He'll come down to Earth soon. But he'll probably be good for a few more starts." -- me to Mark

Managed to snag Cliff Lee early while the other guys were adding the likes of Dana Eveland, Brian Bannister, Peter Moylan, Andrew Miller, Carlos Silva, and Kevin Millwood.

I suppose you can't count on finding a Cy Young winner every year.

I also grabbed Carlos Quentin who might have been in the hunt for AL MVP prior to his season ending injury. Probably can't count on pulling out MVP candidates out of thin air every year either.

And when A-Rod went on the DL early in the season, I picked up Aubrey Huff thinking I just needed a warm body for a couple weeks. Huff channeled the 2003 version of himself in hitting .304 with 32 homers and 108 RBIs. And he ended up being quite valuable filling in roster spots when David Ortiz and Evan Longoria had extended stays on the DL.

"Remember the DVD boys, they'll be stars soon." -- some Texas Rangers fan three years ago

Several years ago, I remember reading a blip about a trio of pitchers that the Rangers had in the low minor leagues. Thomas Diamond, Edinson Volquez, and John Danks comprised "DVD" which spawned bad nickname memories of "Generation K."

Took a stab in the dark and got Volquez/Danks in April. Both came up with better than anticipated results:

Danks: 195 IP, 12 W, 159 K, 3.32 ERA, 1.23 WHIP
Volquez: 196 IP, 17 W, 206 K, 3.21 ERA, 1.33 WHIP

"I don't want to mess with my pitching staff." -- Danette

At the end of June, I figured it might be a good idea to sell high on Volquez. Danette's team could have used a starter with more strikeouts and had Brendan Harris at SS while two of her closers (Matt Capps/Eric Gagne) were no longer closing due to injury or suckiness.

I floated a trade offer of Volquez, Stephen Drew, and Brian Fuentes for John Lackey. At the time, Volquez was having a better season than Lackey but I was willing to sacrifice depth and upside for a more known commodity.

Danette would have owned me good (again), however there was some uncertainty with Fuentes. He was seemingly likely to be traded and possibly end up as a middle reliever elsewhere although the strongest rumor was St. Louis who would certainly would have used him to close. Being the anti-Tom, I did share that nugget of info.

But since hindsight always provides all sorts of awesome, Volquez and Lackey produced similar numbers through the remainder of the season while Drew/Fuentes lit it up. Perhaps she could have used Fuentes' 16 saves, 1.75 ERA, and 0.97 WHIP over somebody like Gagne. Or Drew who hit .326 and had a .927 OPS after the All-Star break (basically Hanley Ramirez without the steals).

"Yeah, Micah Owings, you like that huh?" -- G-Will basking in his sleeper pick about a month into the season.

After the first month: 4-0, 3.48 ERA
Final stats for the season: 6-9, 5.93 ERA

"Does that make him a poor man's Ichiro, perhaps even equal in fantasy cuz he plays 2nd base?" -- Sonny

In early May, Robinson Cano was in his usual first half funk so I was looking around for a second baseman. Jimm had three and needed some pitching help. I asked him casually if he had any interest in trading the perpetually injured Howie Kendrick for the artist formerly known as Jeremy Bonderman. In my head, I figured it'd have to be an expanded deal but Jimm said he'd do it straight up--possibly as a thanks for me telling him to pick up Ryan Ludwick (104 runs, 37 HR, 113 RBI) a few days earlier.

Not even an hour later, the resident Angels fan in the league started complaining that I had stolen Kendrick aka poor man's Ichiro. I made a more apt comparison to Placido Polanco with more speed, provided Kendrick actually staying healthy. I would later spin Kendrick and a prospect to him to rent Josh Beckett for the last six weeks of the season. Kendrick would get hurt again and finish the season with 43 runs, 3 home runs, 37 RBIs, 11 stolen bases, and a .306 average. Good enough to be the 33rd best 2B this season.

Bonderman unfortunately had a season ending injury about a week after trading him to Jimm. But since I'm the anti-Tom, I sent him Jered Weaver and took Bonderman back.

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Got a teensy bit more pleasure out of winning AL Only, if only because the nerd level in doing a league specific draft is just that much higher. Had two objectives: Finish in the money and make sure Tom didn't.

I had only known Tom from last year's AL Only League and he already managed to make my list of mortal enemies. And according to others, I'm certainly not the only one with a distaste for the guy.

In this league, if your guy gets traded to the NL you no longer get his stats and receive no compensation. Last year, Tom tried to trade me Octavio Dotel (in the process of being traded from the Royals to the Braves) to land Chone Figgins.

Karma caught up with him when he lost Manny Ramirez in late July this year. I also made a point to bid up any free agents that he was interested in. In this league, we have another blind bidding process for free agents where additional money is added to the pool based on the selling price. Ie, G-Will won Mark Teixeira for $59 "roto dollars" he had to pay $15.50 in real money (first dollar counts, and then it's .25/dollar after that).

Partially due to my efforts, Tom ended up contributing a league high $103.75 into the league for a distant fourth place finish (top three pay out).

My high ticket items all paid off handsomely especially K-Rod who almost singlehandedly won me the saves category. Figured the Angels would be good enough to dominate the weak AL West but not to the point where they would be blowing people out.

Grady Sizemore and Justin Morneau earned every dollar while Josh Hamilton ($14) was worth even more. I figured I could have penciled in Bobby Abreu for .300, 100 runs, 20 HR, 100 RBIs, and 20 steals before the season. He ended up with .296, 100 runs, 20 HR, 100 RBI, and 22 steals.

In 2007, I overpaid for my pitching staff and had terrible hitting. I came to realize that you can find pitching more easily as the year goes on rather than bats. So this year I went ghetto expecting my pitching staff to be a work in progress like the one from mixed league.

To my surprise, I drafted a ballin' set of starters for less than $40. Dice-K provided deceptively good fantasy stats (18 wins, 154 K, 2.90 ERA) for $18. John Lackey's triceps injury scared most off, so I got him at a bargain $13 and got 24 starts (12 wins, 3.86 ERA, 1.24 WHIP). Ervin Santana was the uber steal at $3 (16 wins, 214 K, 3.49 ERA, 1.12 WHIP) while I nabbed another Angel in Joe Saunders for $4 (17 wins, 3.41 ERA, 1.21 WHIP). Nobody bid me up on Tim Wakefield at $1 (10 wins, 1.18 WHIP).

Pitching staff could have been ridiculously sick, but I chose poorly with my second to last pick. I could have had any remaining pitcher of my choice for $1. I saw two names: Jose Contreras and Cliff Lee. Oops.

In this league, you end up nabbing real life bench/utility players for $1 and $2. So you're happy if they just end up being average starters. But here are four of mine for the bargain price of $5:

$1 - P Brandon Morrow - Geoff bid me up on Manny Delcarmen and Morrow was my backup plan. I knew he had good stuff but I didn't expect him to become an unhyped Joba Chamberlain. He kicked in 10 saves, a 1.47 ERA, sub 1.00 WHIP, and 59 Ks in 40 IP before being converted back into a starter. Meanwhile G-Will paid $8 for Mark Lowe hoping for saves when J.J. Putz got hurt.

$1 - 2B Alexei Ramirez - Read a scouting report prior to the season which described him as a poor man's Alfonso Soriano. He had a difficult first month, but was on fire soon after finishing with .290, 21 HR, 77 RBIs, and 13 steals.

$1 - C Kelly Shoppach - Gary paid $20 for Victor Martinez, but I was the one who ended up with the Indians catcher that would hit 21 home runs. In a 9 team AL Only team with two catcher spots, at least four teams are going to end up drafting a backup catcher.

Shoppach was a top prospect a few years ago with the Red Sox, so I figured even if he wasn't getting a ton of at bats, he wouldn't kill my batting average. And I was hoping that the Indians might choose to play Martinez more often at 1B to save his knees.

Martinez hurt his elbow and missed a good chunk of the season. Shoppach then started crushing the ball and was the 2nd best AL catcher behind Joe Mauer.

$2 - 3B Evan Longoria - Alex Gordon was the Golden Child rookie in 2007 who floundered badly. This possibly scared anybody from going after Longoria. Geoff outbid me on ARod ($41) and Kurt snatched up Miguel Cabrera soon after for $37.

After that, the AL third basemen seemed pretty underwhelming. Longoria had a tremendous year (27 HR, 85 RBI) especially for my $2 investment. I also had Joe Crede and Hank Blalock who managed to stagger time on the DL, so the two of them kinda combined like Voltron to produce one okay-ish third baseman.

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And if you've made it this far, I feel bad for the both of us.